The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants

This is George and Harold.

George is on the right with the plunger on his head.

Harold is the one on the left with a CD belt buckle.

Remember that now.

So what's with all the hubbub?

It's just Captain Underpants punching his own lights out.

Keep punching!

Aah!

You might wonder why George and Harold

want Captain Underpants

to beat himself silly.

But before we can tell you that story, we have to tell you this story.

Every teacher we get is meaner than the last

because we let it happen.

For example, kindergarten teacher Miss Take

or former gym teacher Mr. Roids

or first-grade teacher Miss Align.

But this time, we're not gonna wait.

We're gonna get the new Spanish teacher before he gets us.

Preemptive prank.

Prank first, ask questions later, let Krupp sort it out.

Wait. Are you sure we're on the right planet?

This doesn't look like anything I've seen-- What is that?

What? What is it?

-Gabba-gabba, just go. -Okay, okay.

OMG! That thing was so scary.

Did you see its head? So big!

Who knows how many weapons are hiding in there?

Hey, did you leave the trunk open?

Who cares? Just go.

Why are you seeing

a strange robe falling out of a spaceship

and landing in a tree across from a pet store?

There's probably a good reason.

I dunno. No one tells me anything.

- We're cool! - Me too!

Blah, blah, blah, blah!

Tra-la-la!

So good.

Ah! Oh!

Hola, students.

Mi nombre is Señor Citizen.

Please don't mind my jorts. I have a skin condition.

Here we go!

-Huh? -Uh...

Yeah, what he said.

Aah!

I am such a failure in life!

-Okay, now I feel really guilty. -Ditto.

My real name isn't even Señor Citizen.

It's plain old Mr. Jerry Citizen.

I was stupid to think I could teach!

I only got this job because your principal will hire anyone to be a teacher.

Anyone!

Okay, and you-- All right, you went to the...

Okay, so it says here you're a toddler.

Hmm. Can you speak?

'Cause you might need to speak to teach fifth grade.

I like your energy!

You're hired!

And I don't even speak Spanish!

I should just go lay down and never get up again.

Unacceptable!

I need to be fluent in six languages to get into Eliteanati Academy,

you walking disappointment!

Aah!

Nice call on the backup prank.

I came here to prank and chew gum, and we're not allowed to chew gum.

We're really sorry. We didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

Anything we can do to cheer you up?

Um, well...

an Alaskan cruise with my mom.

Uh...

Or, uh, I like comic books.

George and Harold had never met a grown-up who liked comics,

let alone a teacher.

-There's hope for the guy after all. -Bet if we make a comic for him,

we'll totally stop feeling bad about what we did.

Hey! Just checking in on the new teacher.

What's that? Did I get a new haircut?

Oh.

Yes, I did. Thank you for noticing.

No, I d--it just happened.

I'm sorry. What's that? You think it brings out my eyes?

Is that what I heard? I heard somebody very distinctly say that.

Uh-huh. Oh, great.

- No, I ha-- I hadn't noticed. - Anyway...

-Comic? -Yeah, let's do it.

...by George and Harold.

So Captain Underpants was always saving the day from bad stuff,

but he got tired of fighting bad stuff all alone,

and he wanted a sidekick.

Luckily, a new hero moved to town.

"I'm Judge J.O.R.T.S.!"

And he was all, "The 'J.O.R.T.S.' stands

for justice, order, righteousness, tenacity, shorts.

Also, I wear jorts.

Know anybody who needs a super sidekick?"

Captain Underpants was all like, "Do I???"

Like, with three question marks, 'cause he did.

It was a big deal, which is good,

'cause there was a new, very annoying bad guy in town.

"Hi, I'm the Whimpering Whiner!"

He whined so loud, it made buildings blow up.

So he whined, "I'm tired!

I need a power adapter for my European hair dryer! Wah!"

He blew up all the buildings everywhere.

Crackle! Blige! Blooge! Crr...

And the President was all, "Oh, no, my precious buildings and stuff!"

Booge.

So Captain Underpants flinged underwears at the Whimpering Whiner.

Fling! Fling!

But he dodged them and whined extra-high whines

that knocked Captain Underpants out.

And it's true, 'cause Captain Underpants was all, "Oh, no, I'm so knocked out!"

So Judge J.O.R.T.S. had to save the day.

Luckily, he was as smart as he was handsome and strong,

and not at all, like, a failure in life or Spanish.

So he whipped up a giant robe shield

that bounced all the whiny whines back at the Whimpering Whiner.

Bounce, whine, whine. Bounce, whine.

Then while Melvin-- er, I mean the Whimpering Whiner

was dodging his own whines,

Judge J.O.R.T.S. pulled out his giant gavel of justice

and conked the Whimpering Whiner with an energy whack,

and was all, "Order in the jorts."

Whack!

And Judge J.O.R.T.S. saved the day.

Then everyone was happy forever,

'cause Judge J.O.R.T.S. was so awesome and handsome and smart.

Okay, the end.

I love this so much!

Well, looks like Operation: Feel Good is...

All done. Another successful mission.

George and Harold, you're geniuses.

Now I know why I've always been a failure!

- You... do? - Yeah!

It's 'cause I've been avoiding my true calling--

superhero!

Yeah.

That's not the takeaway at all.

And, I mean, you don't have superpowers.

Superpowers! Yes! Of course! Great idea!

I'll go get superpowers!

Ow! Ooh!

Well, that feels like it might come back to bite us.

True, but more importantly, he's gone.

No-teacher party!

"Smelly meat farts win money!"

So good.

Please. George and Harold won't get away with their slanderous prose.

No one makes Melvin Sneedly look ridiculous!

Karaoke Kitty, let us do the victory dance.

Meanwhile, Jerry was running all over Piqua,

looking for a way to get superpowers.

Ah! Oh.

Hey, do you guys sell pets?

Wait. Hey, you guys sell pets, right?

Uh, I'm required to say "yes."

Good.

Do you sell radioactive pets?

Because I need one to bite me so I can get superpowers!

Uh, we're sold out.

No!

No. Why?

Why?

Why?

Well, I guess that's it for me.

Whoa.

Is that a superhero cape,

maybe left here by aliens that gives whoever wears it superpowers?

Oh. Nope.

Just a dumb robe.

Well, I guess I'll go back to having a nervous breakdown.

Huh? Whoa.

Oh!

Most robes are harmless.

This one gives somebody superpowers.

Whoa! It is a superhero cape that was left here by aliens

that gives whoever wears it superpowers!

Aah!

Hello.

Mm.

Is that our Spanish teacher?

I am Judge J.O.R.T.S.!

Justice, order,

righteousness, tenacity,

shorts!

-Um... -Yeah, what he said.

Guys, look! I found this cool robe, and it gave me powers!

Powers?

I'm a real superhero, just like in your comic!

Every single thing I do from here on out will be entirely because of you two.

Uh...

Well, I'm off.

And when people thank me for saving them, I'm gonna tell them to thank you instead.

That guy is just gonna destroy the whole town!

We got to stick close and watch him.

But in some unnecessary and fun way.

"But he got tired of fighting bad stuff all alone,