The Magicians

Previously on "The Magicians"...

What does that mean?

Jesus, we could not have screwed up

that spell worse, and we can't take it back.

It's just you showed up with that sigil on your hand.

It appeared when I was dreaming of Fillory.

- It came from Jane. - Who are you?

I'm a member of The Order,

the keepers of the libraries of the Neitherlands.

Any idea who the motherfuckers in the hoods are,

trying to kill me?

They've been thoroughly cursed,

so they can't use the fountains,

but that hasn't stopped them from finding other employment.

The Beast?

We are the best Magicians we know,

but Menolly is dying.

Bender's trying to stay off the ledge every day.

And you?

Eight years ago,

I was a drug addict,

and I left my son in a hot car.

We're not learning anything new.

Beast always kills us.

There was one time we didn't all die--

when we went to Fillory.

Point is, we need some serious battle magic.

Bottling our emotions...

When the feelings come back, it's extremely intense.

Near the bridge, there's a man

who has served me a thousand years.

Bring him three gifts. He'll show you the way.

Huh. Not what I expected.

Yeah.

Die, fucker!

Well, that sucked ass.

Julia, Kady!

Finally. Bienvenidas.

Are we interrupting or--

Oh, no, no, no. Just passing the time.

So...

Uh, yeah, um...

We bring forsythia...

Mm-hmm.

And honeycomb.

Hmm.

Hmm-hmm-hmm.

Muy bien, chicas.

Muy bien.

Two down.

Where's the platinum?

We didn't bring that.

Too bad. Exit through the gift shop.

But we did bring something of great and shining worth.

Just say it.

If you're wrong, you're wrong.

We brought you our faith.

Ooh.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh.

Tricky, tricky, tricky, tricky.

I like it.

But to be honest, I'm sensing more skepticism

than faith here.

Look, um, I'm trying.

She's the one that had the dream, okay?

Hey.

Kady, your mother used your faith,

but she isn't your true mother.

Our Lady feels you require a miracle.

Oh, my God.

Wha--what ha--

What did he do?

I don't-- I don't know.

I've had this tightness

ever since my mom, but it's gone.

Ah, there it is.

Faith.

Okay, so...

Let's get to brass.

You're here why?

We seek an audience with Our Lady Underground.

Yeah, no shit.

Why do you think you deserve to see her?

- Hmm? - It's okay.

Why should she waste her time with you?

I am privileged,

and I have done some stupid shit,

and I have been through nothing

compared to some of my friends.

So you wish to help them?

Heal them? Is that it?

Yes, that is exactly what I want to do.

No.

No, no, no.

Magicians...

that's all you ever want, power, every time.

You know what?

For the longest time,

that is all I wanted.

But now I just want to do

whatever the fuck it is I'm supposed to.

And if she's around, if she gives a shit,

I have to believe she wants her daughters

to show a little ambition.

So you tell her that I am trying

to reach something higher.

Nuestra Señora sits and waits,

and no one asks.

She watches.

She weeps.

But today, she's grinning like a fool.

Here's the invocation.

May her blessings be with you.

Thank you.

And one more piece of advice for the chosen.

You can't unring a bell,

so be certain when you call, Julia.

Okay.

Look...

All y'all look like you did a crime last night.

According to all the probability shit,

we don't have time to wait.

One or another super shitty ending

is coming within days

if we don't at least try to go get the knife.

So...

Oh, God.

The Neitherlands is Grand Central for the multiverse.

The button will bring you in,

and once you're there--

Yes, the fountains are portals.

Can I say this?

For your interest?

As far as I know,

you don't need a button or anything

to ride the fountains,

so don't fall in.

Don't get lost.

The whole place is crawling

with battle magic motherfuckers with hoods on.

We get separated,

you're dead.

Seriously,

what the fuck is going on with you people?

Nothing. We're fine, aren't we, El?

We're phenomenal.

Fine, okay. We're not okay.

Forget it. We just need to--

- We're going to-- - It's over!

I need a minute.

Alice is just a little bit sensitive right now.

Would you just shut the fuck up, Margo?

Are you seriously mad at me right now?

What the fuck did I just walk into?

My life. Welcome.

It's not funny, and it's not a joke.

But it truly is, Quentin.

You people need to stow your shit!

We get it! Would you just, please,

give us a goddamn minute?

How you doing?

Come on.

Stop worrying.

Fine.

So the hermit was creepy.

Super creepy.

You didn't feel what I felt.

I don't know. Whatever he was channeling,

it was the real deal.

She's just nervous.

There's always some creepy guy

when you're about to blow

the patriarchy's head out of their ass.

Everything is, um,

about to change...

everything,

finally.

- Yeah. - Cheers.

What?

Okay, you are the least crazy.

Tell me what's going on.

It--nothing. Just forget it.

What the hell are you drinking?

I don't know.

Triple sec?

What did Quentin do?

I don't want to talk about it.

Fair enough.

Can I get some?

It's good.

It's not good.

No, it's not good.

Yeah.

Let you in on a little secret, though.

I used to drink Midori in high school.

It's like melon crossed with perfume

crossed with ass.

Yum.

Fuck did I know?

I was trying to get the voices to go away.