A Clüsterfünke Christmas

The Bellhark Holiday Channel proudly presents

our 187 Days of Christmas holiday movie extravaganza.

It's our favorite time of year,

and that's why we celebrate it for six months.

The holidays aren't the holidays without Bellhark movies, family,

and dear sponsors like...

Philadelphia Cream Cheese.

And now, our presentation.

Excuse me! I'm trying to get back to work.

Can we Uther? Yes, I know.

I was due at the office 10 minutes ago.

It's all this darn Christmas getting in my way.

- Watch it, lady! This is New York!

And it's seven days 'til Christmas.

- January can't come soon enough.

So I'll set up the video conference at four,

unless you'd rather have it at three

and do the budget review at six.

Hello? Holly, are you there?

Holly? Holly?

- Oh! Uh, sorry, right. Be right up.

Ty, I'd like to review the files on Alpensong.

- Here you go, afternoon coffee, black,

signatures on the top stack here, please.

Do you need me to handle Secret Santa for you?

- Secret Sant--oh no, Ty, I'm not doing that.

We are in the business of excellence,

and excellence doesn't just stop

for some silly holiday tradition.

Now, what about Alpensong?

- Holly, everyone's going out for holiday drinks.

Let's worry about Alpensong afterwards.

- Ty, this is a tough business. Grow a pair.

- We lost the deal. - What!?

I put my heart and soul into that deal!

- I'm sorry, Holly, you worked your tail off.

Let's just grab a drink and we can--

- Convince, coerce, conquer! Convince, coerce, conquer!

Windmere wants to see you.

He said now.

- Holly! Wanted to check it.

You got a minute? - Sure, but just a minute.

I have a lot of business goals to achieve today.

We needed that Alpensong deal.

It's not like you to lose. You surf the seas of success.

You literally wrote the book on it.

- Well, you know how passionate I am

about the hotel and resort business.

I'm gonna give you another chance to prove that you're

the tiger I know you can be.

Thank you, Mr. Windmere.

- I want you to check out a small-town family inn

I've been eyeballing.

It's the perfect setting for one of our signature golf,

racetrack, and water park resorts.

1900 acres of fresh pine forest just waiting to be cleared.

- Love it. - You'll leave in the morning.

The morning?

But, uh--but it's almost Christmas.

You and I are the same.

Everyone knows that we don't go in

for that love and family jazz, no.

It's decided.

I'm sending you to Maine, little place called Yuletown.

- But I hate small towns. - Buy them out!

All right, I won't keep you. Early start tomorrow.

Yes.

And believe me, I've got big plans tonight, so...

- Digital assistant, play me "The Seven Seas Solution

to Success in Business" by Holly Jenkins.

Okay, here's "Seven Seasonal Recipes

to Make Your Christmas List." - Oh no, no, digital assistant,

play "The Seven Seas Solution to Success--"

Number one, cranberry cream cheese bites.

Digital assistant?

No, I said play "The Seven Seas--"

Stir continuously for 30 minutes.

- Digital assistant, can it. Stop it!

Place in oven until a golden--

- Hey, girl - Jingle, jingle!

It's your bubbly best friend calling.

Thought you might wanna join me for a little holiday exposition.

- Oh, I don't know. What is it? What exposition?

Oh, you know, model train, champagne.

- Oh, no, no, thanks. I'll pass.

Let me guess.

You're sitting on your couch, reading your own book,

and staring at that old picture of you and Chance.

No. No.

No, I'm going over my business plans for my business deal.

Holly, breakups are hard.

You and Chance met the first day of business school.

You were the power couple everyone looked up to.

And then six months ago, out of nowhere,

he decides to take a break

to make sure you're right for each other?

- Ugh! Sorry to always make you revisit my backstory.

- That's what I'm here for. Sure you don't wanna meet up?

No, no, I'm in for the night.

Okay. That's it for me, then.

Bye! - Bye, bestie!

Digital assistant, play

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey.

Sorry, I can't afford the rights to that song.

Here's something similar called

"All I'll Have for Christmas is Fruit" by Shania Gary.

- Excuse me, how do I get to Yuletown?

Yuletown?

Well, that's at the northernmost tip of Maine.

The only way you can get there is by train.

Oh--oh, and the train is right there!

All aboard the train to Yuletown!

Taxi!

- Great. Not a cab in sight.

Don't tell me you're a little lost dog who's gonna help me

find the spirit of Christmas?

Well, bah humbug to you, too.

- This is what Windmere Hotels and Resorts wants to buy up?

They'll just be waiting to unload it.

24-hour sale.

Okay, time to sail the seven seas of success.

Converse, connect, convince, coerce,

conquer, close, cocktails.

Margy, I'll tell ya what.

Only thing that's working these days is my forgetter.

I went up there to water that Christmas cactus

and these were in the washbasin.

- Hello, checking in for Holly Jenkins, J-E-N-K-I-N-S.

Jenkins, okay. Jenkins.

- Hello, there. And welcome.

My name is Hildegarde.

And this is my sister, Margalade.

- But, you can call us Hildy and Marga.

- Or, you can call us the Sisters Clüsterfunke.

- Just don't call us after 10:00 PM.

We hit the hay early around here!

Don't call us then, no!

I got you asleep at that hour.

- We turn into a couple of Christmas pumpkins.

Okay, great.

Uh, Hildy, Marga, I've had a long trip

and I'd really just like to get to my room.

- Oh, well, where you comin' in from, hon?

Ah, New York City.

New York.

Never been there myself.

Too many lights, honking horns.

Ooh, all that hustle and bustle!

- That's a great story. Could I just my key?

Yeah.

Let me ask you something.

In New York City, can you see the stars

when you look up at the sky?

- Ah, not really. Not with all the lights.

No stars?

How you gonna make a wish?

I don't know.

- Well, you're lucky you got a room.

We get booked up this time of year

because of the Santa's Bonfire Festival.

Yup, posters everywhere.

- Yuletown boasts the largest bonfire in all of northern Maine

so Santa can see the town when he flies over.

Okay.

Okay, let me get this key.

- Oh, boy. - It is not here.

We always put it on seven.

- I'm surprised Christmas hasn't come and gone.

When this is a Windmere, check-in will be a breeze.

- Around the W. - Here it is right here, hon.

Oh, now how did it get there?

There you go, room five.

- There it is. Okay, thank you.

Oh, can I interest you in

a piece of our famous Clüsterfunke strudel?

- Mm, the recipe has been in our family for hundreds of years.

- Oh, thank you, but I'm off sugar.

And I'm intermittent fasting.

- And if I don't reach ketosis-- - Okay.

But, like we always say--

Get you some strudel to sweeten up that kaboodle!

Okay. Well, good night.

- It'll be here for ya in the morning.

- If you need a midnight snack-- - If you wake up hungry--

She's still in earshot.

fresh batch for morning.

I think she's gone.

Okay.

Ugh! What the--

Are you...

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

Of course this knob works.

Hello?

Definitely not a Windmere.

Okay, Jenkins. Anything for a sale.

- I'm just kicking myself because I--

I bought Santa Claus stamps, but--

Well, what do we have here?

- I mean, we like to party here in Yuletown, but...