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Know what I like about Christmas?

The surprises.

You get this box, and you're sure you know what's inside.

You shake it, you weigh it.

You're convinced you have it pegged. No doubt in your mind.

But then you open it up, and it's different.

You know. Wow, bang, surprise.

I mean, it's kind of like you and me here, you know?

And I'm not saying it's anything it's not.

Come on, this time yesterday, who would've thunk it?

Paper or plastic?

Paper or plastic?

Paper or plastic?

Both.

You didn't double my coupons.

They're at the bottom in red, where it says "double coupons."

You can't put bleach in the same bag as food. It's poison.

Don't think you're something you're not. I used to have your job.

Look how far it got you.

Nothing brings back warm holiday memories like the songs you love.

- Don't. - Why not?

Because she's been on for 14 hours.

- Ronna? - No.

- I haven't asked yet. - The answer's still no.

Christmas is a time for giving.

Mistletoe?

Pardon me if I'm not in a holly-jolly mood right now.

I'm getting evicted.

Tomorrow.

They wouldn't evict you at Christmas.

You'd be ho-ho-homeless.

- How much you owe? - 380.

- That's nothing. - It's more than I got.

You want my shift?

My best mates are going to Las Vegas this weekend.

I've never been. I'm told it's incredible.

If you take my shift, I can go with them. Everybody wins.

Cash up front?

Deal.

I'll throw in an extra 20 for a blowjob.

Any available cashier.

I need a cashier up at the front.

Look, I went the last time.

Okay. Dead Celebrities. Loser goes up.

Omar Sharif.

Steve McQueen.

Michael Landon.

Lee Marvin.

Shit.

Malcolm X.

You can't say Malcolm X.

He's famous. He's dead.

That's a rule. Nothing starts with an X.

That's not my problem.

You can challenge.

- I challenge. - This is bullshit!

Give me one dead celebrity that begins with an X.

Fuck!

There is one.

I thought of one before.

Break was over four minutes ago. Who's up front?

I am.

- Xerxes. - What?

Xerxes.

He was some dead pharaoh guy, and his name starts with an X.

That wasn't it. Never heard of fucking Xerrxes.

The pharaoh could've saved your ass.

There's an opera about him.

Xerxes.

I took Music Appreciation twice.

What do you mean, he's snowed in? What's he doing in Chicago anyway?

Look, just call me when you get to a landline.

He can't get out of the airport. We're fucked.

Is the British guy still here?

He went to Vegas for the weekend.

Vegas.

Hi...

Ronna. Right?

Do you know where I can get something to go with this juice?

Doughnuts, aisle four.

I was hoping for something more euphoric.

The British guy usually hooks us up.

- How much? - Twenty at twenty.

You're overpaying.

We're desperate. We're going to a party at a warehouse. What is it?

"Mary X-mas Superfest."

- You going? - We have this pre-party planned.

But it's all or nothing because there's twenty of us.

My friend's stuck in Chicago. He was supposed to come through for us.

Now we're dead. If you could do anything...

to help us out...

Please.

I'll see. Give me your number.

Kick ass! Thank you.

So you want to buy all this OJ?

Absolutely.

You know Simon's in Vegas?

I don't need Simon. I'm going to Todd.

Todd Gaines?

Who's Todd Gaines?

That's Simon's dealer.

You can't go around Simon like that, can you?

Listen, if Simon were here, which he's not, he'd charge 15...

...when he gets it for ten. Times 20 hits, that's 100 bucks.

But it's a leap. You're moving up the drug food chain without permission.

You shouldn't do this, Ronna.

Why can't you chill the fuck out, okay? It's just once.

When Simon gets back, we can still overpay if it makes you happy.

But this is my deal.

Just sit back and watch.

- Speak. - Todd, it's Ronna Martin.

- You know me through Simon. - Yeah?

Can I come up?

I thought you were still buying quarters off of Simon.

At least, what Simon pretends are quarters.

I keep him honest.

At that level, you should pinch. It's the economics.

You leaving?

Be good.

I take it this is not a social call.

I need a favour.

I didn't know we were such good friends.

Because if we were, you'd know I give head before I give favours.

I ain't giving my best friends head...

so your chance of getting a favour is pretty fucking slim.

Just tell me what you want to buy.

Twenty hits of Ecstasy.

You come here out of the blue asking for 20 hits...

when 20 is the magic number where intent to sell becomes trafficking?

- I'd never fuck you like that. - How would you fuck me?

This is the real thing.

Pharmaceutical grade, not that crunchy, herbal rave shit.

Don't let anybody double dose. They'll fry in the emergency room.

- I understand. - Only one hit per headbanger.

Understood.

Twenty at fifteen is three hundred.

Fifteen?

I was thinking more like ten.

I know you charge Simon ten.

Inflation is a bitch.

Here's the deal. There are 20 of us. I need all of this.

But I only have $200. That's all I have.

No, no. Hear me out.

Hear me out, okay? This 200 is like a down payment.

All right? You give me the stuff...

I go to them, get the extra hundred, come back and pay you.

That would be doing you a favour, and you know how I feel about favours.

I could leave something with you.

Collateral.

I already got a fucking Swatch.

I need something I know you'll come back for.

- I'm not going up there. - It's 45 minutes.

Hour, tops. You just have to sit there.

He's a drug dealer.

Jesus, Claire! Don't get 818 on me here.

How much have I done for you?

No. You're making me an accessory.

Claire, my bracelet you're wearing, that's an accessory.

You're just some chick who's sitting in an apartment.

I'm not.

Okay. No bullshit, okay?

I don't get this money, I'll get evicted. My ass is on the street.

Claire, I don't have anyone else to go to, okay?

I'm coming to you, and I am asking for your help.

Please.

Fine, 45 minutes. That's, like, 8 o'clock.

We'll be back by 8. I promise.

It's 237.

Jesus! Next time, ask for directions.

Hey, Ronna?

You're a pro.

I'm a top-seeded amateur.

And I'm a very happy man.

Come on in. Damn glad to meet you, Rhonda.

Ronna.

When I heard Philly got snowed in, I was telling these guys...

It was getting loose there. I'm glad we found you.

Work, work, work.

Friday must be a busy night.

That was just a friend.

What can I get you to drink?

Some of that orange juice would be great.

Great.

All right.

I understand...

this party tonight is going to be huge.

Massive.

Traci Lords is a promoter.

She is.

That's what I heard.

Ron, hon, we are fresh out of OJ. Cerveza?

Hey, we bought a bunch of orange juice tonight.

I just left it in the car. But I can go get it.

Zack tells me that you've got 20 at 20. Is that right?

You got a bathroom?

- It's down the hall on the right. - Let me show you.

Maybe we could do this first?

Fuck!

We said Chicago. You said Philly.

Maybe she didn't notice.