Penguins of Madagascar

An inhospitable wasteland.

But even here, on the earth's frozen bottom...

We find life.

And not just any life.

Penguins!

Joyous, frolicking, waddling,

cute and cuddly life.

Look at them... oh!

Tumbling onto their chubby bum-bums.

Who could take these frisky little snow clowns...

Seriously?

Does anyone even know where we're marching to?

Who cares? I question nothing.

Me, too. Me, too!

Well, fine!

We'll just fly to the front of the line and see for ourselves.

Kowalski! Rico! Engage aerial surveillance. Mmm-hmm.

Here we go! Doing it! Come on!

Skipper, we appear to be flightless. Oh.

Well, what's the point of these?

Hmm...

Ah!

Hi-yeah! Whoa!

| like it! (Laughing)

Hey, this could be ourthing! Uh-huh.

What are we gonna call it? Let's call it the, uh, "high one."

Uh-huh. (Groans) Whoa!

Hey, did anybody see that? That's an egg!

Is someone gonna go get it?

We can't do that.

Why not?

Well, it's a dangerous world out there, and we're just penguins.

You know, nothing but cute and cuddly.

Yeah! Why do you think there are always documentary crews filming us?

Well, sorry, kid. We lose a few eggs every year.

It's just nature.

On, right. Nature.

I guess that makes sense...

But something deep down in my gut

tells me that it makes no sense at all.

You know what? I reject nature!

Who's with me?

Ah!

(Wcolaughwg)

(All gasping)

The old ship. No one's ever returned from there alive.

Relax, Kowalski. There's a bird down there now.

Look, he's fine.

Penguins: Oh!

Leopard seals. Nature's snakes.

Aren't snakes "nature's snakes"?

How should I know? I live on the flipping frozen tundra!

They're going for the egg! Give me a way down there, asap!

All one would have to do is collect 300 feet of kelp...

Tiny and helpless, the baby penguins are frozen with fear.

They know if they fall from this cliff, they will surely die.

Gunter, give them a shove.

Harnessing the jellyfish we've trained to obey simple voice commands.

Now, that's more like it!

Phew! (All screaming)

That-a-boy, rico!

Don't let them have it! Huh?

Seals: Huh? (Chuckles)

Okay! I guess that works.

Kowalski: Get to high ground!

Ah!

Skipper: Booyah!

Success!

Ooh! Oh!

Kowalski: I'd recommend firing it now!

Nope. Hold on.

We really should fire it!

Not till we see the white of its eyes.

They're mostly pupil. Very little white! Almost none!

They gotta have a little bit of white, right?

None whatsoever!

What if they look really far to the left?

(Whining)

Fire in the hole!

Kowalski, analysis?

We are really awesome at this!

Boys, we did it! Mission accomplished. Huh?

Hey, we could do our thing! High one!

Yes!

Oh!

My bad! Uh-oh.

Look, it's the miracle of birth!

A moment of extraordinary beauty.

(Sputtering)

Oh, that's disgusting! I think I have amniotic sac in my mouth!

All: Om

hello! Are you my family?

You don't have a family, and we're all going to die. Sorry.

What?

What? I thought that was what we were all nodding about.

No one's gonna die!

Know what you've got, kid?

You've got us.

We've got each other.

If that ain't a family, I don't know what is.

So adorable.

Kowalski, what's our trajectory?

95% certain we're still doomed.

And the, uh, other 5%?

Kowalski: Adventure and glory like no penguins have ever seen before.

I'll take that action.

But where are we going?

Skipper: The future, boys.

The glorious future.

Skipper: Argh, that song!

I swear, it's gonna make me lose my salmon.

Singing getting louder, skipper.

Then move faster!

And somebody get that wig off private!

Kowalski, status report!

I am really getting tired of this song.

Skipper: Well, the best part of owning a circus...

Is you can transport a Cannon over state lines.

Woo-hoo! Rico: Bleh!

Ten years ago, on this very day, a tiny egg hatched...

And our world got a little bit cuter.

So, tonight, private, we celebrate your birthday...

By infiltrating the united states gold depository...

At fort Knox!

Splendid!

What? There she is, boys!

The object of our unholy desire...

The butter on our biscuit...

The royal flush... Private: Skipper?

Private, what's our rule about interrupting analogies?

Sorry. Please continue.

The moment's gone. Private ruined it.

Sir, we're approaching our target.

But, skipper, I really don't...

Are you questioning my leadership, private?

No, sir. Too bad.

Because I respect a soldier with some moxie.

Really? Then I really think we should...

Whoa, whoa! Dial back the moxie, sass-mouth!

Oh, look at you. Still so adorable.

Skipper: (Whispers) Fire in the hole!

Female voice: Eight o'clock. Night-night time!

What? (Guards groaning)

Private, come on!

Man on speaker: Please enter passcode.

Kowalski, you're up.

Please enter passcode.

Rico, Sonic incursion device.

Oh, come on. You're kidding, right?

Kentucky, skipper. They do love their flatt and scruggs.

Y'all come in now, you hear? Have yourself an ice tea.

Private, if you could have anything

you wanted in the whole wide world...

What would it be?

Well, gee, skipper.

I think to be a meaningful and valued member of this team.

Oh, well, we got you something else.

A vending machine?

Not just any vending machine, private.

The last remaining home in america's nanny state...

For those succulent, but chemically hazardous bits of puffed heaven called...

Private: (Gasps) Oh! Cheezy dibbles!

Happy ding-dong birthday, you little scamp.

Thank you!

Mmm-mmm-mmm.

You mess with the bull, you're gonna get the horns, private.

Now hit that machine and get your present.

We just broke into the most secure facility in North America.

You know what that means?

We're wanted criminals who'll be on the I am the rest of our lives...

Always feeling the hot breath of Johnny law on our necks?

No! It means, as elite units go,

we're the elitist of the elite.

Top shelf in the bureau. The penultimate, plus one.

Where'd private go?

Oh, there he is. D-3.

Oh, private. How much is he?

He's $3.50, sir.