Single Papa (सिंगल पापा)

Two lakhs in total.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

Don't you worry.

I will organize a meeting as soon as BKG returns.

Let's meet in the evening.

Let me call you back.

You had a haircut?

You noticed?

It's called a "long bob."

Beautiful. You look like Bobby.

I wear yellow everyday.

Yellow nail polish, yellow phone.

I should just get jaundice and be done with it.

I hope you're trying to stay happy?

I smile all day long. I have done everything you've said.

But still…

It's okay to cry sometimes. What are tears? Salt water.

Salt water.

As BKG says, "Salt wards off negativity."

That is why we feel better after crying.

I feel lighter after meeting you.

He's finally asleep.

Who says GG can't handle kids?

Baby. It's okay.

Hey, baby. Come on, come here.

My baby. It's okay.

Finally he's calm.

What's the matter? Look at the bird.

Calm down, bro. It's the first night.

Come on, open your mouth. He's not even hungry.

Did you poop? Let's change your diaper.

But it's clean.

Come on! Open your mouth.

What happened?

Please bill this. Baby!

Hush! You'll wake the baby.

I'm talking to my baby. Baby, you want Glenmorren, right?

Let's take Glenlanoch.

Baby, Glenmorren is smoother.

Baby, but Glenlanoch is sweet.

Baby, this has a nice, smoky flavor.

Glenlanoch has a nice, spicy flavor.

-It's too strong. -Hello, Mr. & Mrs. Glen.

Stop this bickering. I'm not sitting here to entertain you.

If you make me punch the amount again, I will punch you in the face.

A customer is King! Is this the way to treat a customer?

Come on, baby. Gurgaon has many winemarts.

-Go ahead. -We will find someone with manners.

And we will give you zero ratings.

Sure, thank you.

Thank you?

This is no fun, Sharanya.

I'm so dead. This is too tough.

I have to give him Vitamin-D drops once a day.

I sometimes give it twice a day, and sometimes, not even once.

To top it all, he's a rager.

He stays up all night long.

I have a headache every morning. I'm annoyed all day long.

You need help.

This is not a one-man job.

No, man, that's the theory I want to bust.

Everyone thinks I can't do this alone.

You can.

But seeking help won't make you a bad parent.

In fact, a good nanny could make both your lives easier.

Let me talk to my agency. Okay?

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah. Sure. Of course.

Yes. Bye. Bye-bye. Yes.

I sent Chhotu home last night, to get some cash.

He told me that you were not at home.

Really?

You've got a new style, a new energy,

fancy hair, you're talking in English.

What does that say?

Say?

Talk. English talk.

I going English classes, you know?

But why the sudden urge to learn English at this age?

What inspired you?

Actually, my hairstyle very glam, right?

So, Meenu said me,

"From now, only English talk. Okay, Poons?"

One minute. Meenu.

Yeah, yeah. Of course, of course.

"Poons"?

-Why are you in such a state? -Why are you in such a state?

-I asked first. -I asked first.

I'm a dead man walking.

I haven't slept for three nights.

He gets hungry every couple of hours.

Then he sleeps, then he poops. Then he wakes up, then he's hungry again.

I just don't get it. How can such a tiny kid eat so much?

-That's good. -What? Of course, he is good.

It's not about Amul.

-I'm just venting. -No.

That diaper you just threw away, that is good. The dirty one is here.

What? Yuck, poop!

I'm so tired, sis!

Bro, listen to me. You have to tell Goldie.

I will tell him. Don't worry about it.

But when?

I was at a wedding with Prem and Suman, and I almost bumped into Mrs. Nehra.

Nehra? What happened?

I saw her and my future flashed before my eyes.

A broken engagement, Dad gets a heart-attack.

So, I decided to make a run for it.

Let me introduce you to my to-be daughter-in-law. Where's Namrata?

If I wasn't already a pro at skipping school and college,

I'm sure I would be in big trouble right now.

Sorry. Thank you.

-Sorry, I dragged you into this mess. -Yeah, but that ends now.

I told Goldie you want to talk to him. So, he has called you home.

I haven't showered or pooped in days.

I have no use for such disgusting information.

That uptight guard at your Aggarwal mansion won't let me through the gates.

Yeah, so, shit, shower, shave. I don't care.

But you have to do this!

What about Amul? Who will look after him? Your father?

His aunt.

Will Goldie be long, Uncle?

No, he's just on his way.

By the way, you picked an auspicious day.

Is it? How come?

He had booked a car for your sister and Goldie.

Goldie has gone to pick it up.

Wow.

Congo! Which car is it?

Those who want to spend life with ease, they drive only Mercedes.

Look at you go! Aunty is a poetess!

Congo!

So, how's business?

Uncle, it's great.

What can I say, I don't want to sound cocky,

but in the business of alcohol, no road is rocky.

I'm a poet too, Aunty, just like you.

Well done!

Uncle, it looks like Goldie might take some more time. I'll come tomorrow.

It's Amul's milk time, anyway.

-What? -What?

You know, Amul milk?

-I drink it at this time. -At this time?

Uncle, we are Jats. Our body runs on milk, not blood.

We can drink it at all hours. I'll take your leave now. Congo!

-Uncle, anything missing? Sugar, coconut-- -Sorry!

Do you want to do the honors?

For you, it will be my honor.

Shreya…

my niece. She's a doctor.

Pediatrician.

Can I get your number?

What's the rush?

You will get it in time.

By the way, you look like you need a doctor.

Me? Why?

Bloodshot eyes, exhaustion. Take my advice and don't drive.

Wow, you're already being bossy.

Actually, I need a scriptwriter for the sangeet ceremony.

I heard you rhyming back there.

My pleasure.

And don't worry, I'm fine.

And I will get your number. See you.

Hello, my brothers and sisters. Welcome to Geet Station.

The next song is sung by Aman Pant.

-Hey, brother. Hey! -Hey, stop. Hey!

So, you didn't do what you went for, plus you banged the car.

Yes, Nammo, I know. It was a mistake. That's why I offered them money.

That was worse.

First, you bang their car, then you offer them money.

Come on.

Hold on.

What did you do at your sister's house?

We are coming from the Agarwals'.

I have neighbors, Dad. Let's talk inside.

No, no. We won't step inside this house.

Okay, then. Start your verbal violence. Go on.

Ever since this kid came into your life, you've been acting crazy.

He's driving customers away. Chhotu told me.

I'm slogging my ass off. I'm trying to be a good father.

But you won't get it.

-You never tried it. -Is it?

You came out of your mother's womb as a fully-grown adult.

Which class did I break my hand in?

-What? -Don't "what" me.

You know everything. You raised me, right?

Father of the year.

Which class did I break my hand in?

Seventh class.

Wrong answer. You win a big, fat zero. Mom?

Fourth class.

Absolutely right, but you don't win anything.

Because mothers never get anything. We just take them for granted.

Here's another one. Which class did I fail, Dad?

Didn't you fail every class?

-Sixth class. -In sixth class.

Right answer, Mom.

What's my best friend's full name?

Pawan has a full name?

His name is Pawandeep Singh Gill. You don't know shit about me, Dad.