Testament

We have rich cultural programs.

Painting workshops, a choir…

I wanted to ask…

about the food…

No problem.

We already offer keto, vegan,

syncretic and systemic paleo.

We can easily do halal.

Wonderful.

You have a doctor?

Yes. Well, we had one.

But he was older.

Sadly, he died.

We're on the Department's waiting list.

Is it long?

We're 137th in line.

We have an excellent nurse…

part-time.

Or we call an ambulance.

They're very fast.

Very well. We'll think about it.

You're promoting ethnic diversity.

Admirable.

Starting next year, the government decided

that residences like ours have to house 15% racial minorities.

Another wonderful initiative.

Good day, Mr. Bouchard.

Good day.

Hello, Jean-Michel.

Hello, Roger.

27 miles.

I feel incredible.

How's my champion?

How many miles?

27, headwind.

Great.

His body fat is 0.4%.

Really? Fascinating.

We're doing the Tourmalet next summer.

Fabulous.

With men half my age.

Great.

You should work out too.

I walk a little every day.

He walks.

Mr. Bouchard…

It's not enough.

Cardio! Gotta keep the machine pumping.

I promise I'll consider it.

Good afternoon.

Have a good day.

Poor Mr. Bouchard… he walks!

I love walking in cemeteries.

They are peaceful places

to think about all the dead

I will soon be joining.

My last breath will be discreet.

I will die with general indifference.

Never married, no children…

There will be no tears at my funeral.

There won't even be a funeral.

I've made arrangements to have my body collected quickly…

and my ashes dumped in some compost bin.

I have lived an uneventful life

working at the National Archives.

I still work there twice a week,

a privilege I've been granted.

I had no major ambitions.

I wrote a few books,

now completely forgotten.

I've spent my life in a peaceful province

in a boring, insignificant country.

But it seems the most boring countries

are the happiest.

So there's that.

47th ANNUAL QUEBEC LITERARY AWARDS

We can't start.

We're missing one.

We have 5. We need 6.

Jean-Michel Bouchard.

I asked, no one knows him.

Nobody knows what he looks like.

No one's heard of Mr. Bouchard.

Excuse me.

What?

You're looking for Jean-Michel Bouchard?

That's me.

Why didn't you say so?

I…

Everyone's waiting for you.

Don't just sit there, go!

I found him, sat him down.

Let's do this.

Hello, everyone.

I'm Sophie-Lune Auger-Duguay from Télé-Québec.

It's my pleasure and honor,

in the presence of

our Cultural Affairs Secretary,

to announce the winners

of this year's Quebec Literary Awards.

We'll start with the Lise-Payette Award

for Best Historical Essay.

It goes to Justine-Héloïse Leroux-Proux

for her biography

Madeleine de Verchères, Rebellious and Violent,

Adèle Toupin Publisher.

Congrats.

Keep on fighting!

Now, the Rina-Lasnier Award

for this year's Best Poetry Collection

goes to, by a unanimous jury vote,

Chimène Bigras-Biron

for her brilliant Vaginas On Fire,

At the Stake Publisher.

This way.

Thank you for understanding my rage.

Thank you for understanding my disgust.

In the Best Novel category,

Aminata Sankara

for her masterpiece Oppression and Vengeance,

Combat Publishers.

Finally, in the…

Honoring our Elders category the award goes to…

Mr. Jean-Michel Bouchard

for his body of work including

Heat Wave & The Coronation Voyage.

Thank you very much.

It's OK, Mr. Bouchard.

But… but…

No speech. Sit.

I need to explain…

Just go sit.

A reminder to our winners:

you are expected in the lobby

for a special recording of

the brilliant show She's Gaga for Books

with the awesome

Dakota-Myrtille Bissonnette.

This year that has just collapsed…

elapsed, sorry…

was particularly rich

for Quebec literature, nationally.

And… worldwide.

We all remember

the outstanding success…

of Pézie Ouellette-Ouareau…

at the International Book Fair…

in Crépons-les-Tourelles.

Not to mention the impact of our…

authoresses?

That's right.

Our authoresses.

At the Cultural Symposium

in Bouvi… gnes-sur-Meuse.

And our dazzling presence

at the International Francophonie Literary Celebrations in…

Ouadou…

Ouaga.

Ouaga… gou…

Well.

I lost the speech.

What?

The screen is black, black, black.

Turn it off.

Completely off.

We'll lose it.

It'll stay in the cloud.

It's a strange feeling to suddenly realize

your life is over.

I used to be interested in politics,

economics, culture…

and even sometimes in sports.

Now, if Vladimir Putin invades Ukraine,

I'm saddened, of course,

but I know there's nothing I can do.

Ukraine is too far…

and, I am too old.

When the Earth becomes uninhabitable,

around 2100, probably,

I'll be long gone.

Election results, currency fluctuations,

billions made on the Internet,

exhibits at the Museum of Modern Art…

it all leaves me completely indifferent.

The interests and passions of my contemporaries

no longer interest me.

I can't relate to their music,

their fashions,

their social networks, their tattoos…

What's with everyone getting tattoos?

I only aspire to rest in peace,

as the ancient liturgy said.

When I found out you won, I lost it.

I swear.

I'll see you later.

I'll wait.

I'll be right here.

I bet.

Wait a second.

Listen, Mr. Bouchard,