The Simpsons

The Simpsons S19E13 - The Debarted -

The art teacher is fat, not pregnant.

Ow! Mom, Lisa hit me!

I did not!

Kids, knock it off.

I'm uncomfortable driving your father's car as it is.

Taxicab License.

What the...?

Fine! We'll divide the car into your side and my side.

My leg is the barrier.

Mom!

The system works!

It's not funny!

Your wearing cleats!

Stop it! Stop it!

Sorry I'm late...

I was in a car crash.

Many hurt, but nobody cool was harmed.

Just sit down, Bart.

Huh?!

Who's the new meat in my seat?

Bart, this is Donny...

he's here at our school because he was kicked out of P.S. 132.

P.S. That school sucked.

Don't worry, Bart,

Willie's bringing you something to sit on.

Hey, Krabappel,

your name sounds like "crab apple."

Did you go sour waiting for someone to pick you?

Pretty much.

Huh?

Isn't he awesome?

When he grows up, I want to be like me!

Look, new kid,

I'm the head hamster in this habitrail, capisce?

Well, maybe there's a new guinea pig in your cage.

Capisce that?

Oh, I capisce.

I capisce just fine.

Oh, well, you just keep on capisce-ing.

See-saw!

Mr. Simpson, this damage will take a week to fix.

While your car's in the shop, uh, you can drive this loaner.

Loa... ner?

She's right here.

This is the kind of car you see in commercials!

How much am I paying for this?

- Nothing. - Hm, it seems like a lot.

On the contrary.

The loaner car is complimentary. It's standard policy.

Really? Oh!

You people are idiots!

That's the dumb...

What a stu...

I mean, that sounds fair.

Okay, so...

Look at you! Idiots!

Driver of a loaner car

much better than a

driver of my normal car...

Whoa! Fancy wheels!

What song does the horn play?

None.

Classy.

Wha...?

Hey, boy, check out my new car... huh?

Cut it out!

Want to take a ride with your old man?

No.

Come on! Come on!

Oh, come on!

Oh, fine.

What's the matter, son?

There's this new kid

at school who everyone thinks is cooler than me.

Aw, don't give up, boy!

I believe in you, and not just because I have to.

Really, Dad?

Son, I know when we first met, we didn't really hit it off,

but since then I've really come to respect you.

And unlike love, respect can't be bought.

You're right.

I'm gonna go to school tomorrow and show everyone I'm awesome.

That's my boy.

Now let's watch the air conditioner fight the heater.

Now let's add the rear window defogger.

Twister! Get down!

"Air Skinner" brings it up.

He bounces the ball repeatedly in a dribbling type motion.

Foul!

Great, I fouled out. Now can I go?

Nope, I grant you five more fouls.

Top this, Donny.

Thank you, children.

Welcome to the unveiling of our new school lunch purchasing plan,

known as the Flex Plan.

Students may spend up to ten points per day

in up to four of seven categories.

Unused points roll over week to week but not month to month.

Categories not included: meat, dairy, vegetables...

Wha...?

That's odd.

But, as a one-time occurrence, no cause for alarm.

It's not funny; these movements are involuntary.

This almost makes me want to find out how magnets work.

Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart!

Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart! Bart!

Who did this?

Until I find out, no one is leaving this mixed-use auditorium.

But some of us have after-school care!

When I catch the culprit and I will...

I'm gonna throw this away...

and use this instead!

Principal Skinner?

I did it.

Young man, my office, now!

Huh?

Why did you take the rap for me?

I don't know. I like your style.

Well, remember this:

Bart Simpson takes care of his friends.

Come see me when you get out.

Young man, brace yourself...

for some congratulations!

We did it! You're in!

We finally have a man on the inside.

We're gonna put Bart Simpson away for a long, long time.

By law, the most we can give him is a ten-day suspension.

Well, that's long to a kid!

All our other attempts to get a spy inside

the Bart Simpson operation have failed.

Uter, Ralph, Doug the hip guidance counselor...

he was never the same after Bart got through with him.

Your extracurriculars are gonna need a lot

of work if you want to get into Vanderbilt.

I'll get the goods on this Simpson kid.

You have my word as a snitch.

Oh. Here he comes. Now this won't be easy,

but pretend I'm a jerk.

Young man, I'm gonna be on you like a numerator on a denominator!

Let's take a ride.

I got a place with a view.

I've never seen blue vines before.

They're only sold in Europe. I know a guy.

Ah, yeah!

You can really taste the blue.

Check this out... Nyaa!

Oh, that's so cool!

Here's a little hair of the dog for tomorrow.

Oh, thanks, Bart.

Now th we're buddies, I can let you in on some of

the cool scams we run at school.

Oh, yeah? Like what?

Bathroom passes, doctor's notes...

We can rig a cootie catcher so you can marry anybody you want.

Whoa! Sherri! I'm in.

Milhouse, bust out four of our finest juice boxes.

I just wanna say...

juice-box fight!

Sounds like fun. Can I play?

Sure.

How is that fun?

Fun's only fun if everyone's having fun.

Mom, what are you doing?

Honey, this is how I save money

on ketchup and mustard.

Do you do it with relish?

No, I'm kind of embarrassed about it.

Mrs. Simpson, may I take you

for an evening drive?

Our loaner awaits.

Did you just unlock the car from here?

Baby, let's cruise

Away from here...

Don't be confused, baby

The way is clear

And if you want it, you got it forever

This is not a one-night stand, baby...