Young & Hungry

Okay, I'm doing my free spray tan now.

Uh, no you are not!

I'm locking up for Martina, so she said that I could get the free spray tan.

What? But you're already a beautiful shade of J-Lo. You don't need it.

Fine, you can have it.

And then afterwards, can we go barhopping and meet some guys?

No, I can't. You know...

Josh.

Gabi, you and Josh have been broken up for, like, a month.

Okay? You are allowed to date.

Am I? I mean, Josh is in therapy, working on his commitment issues

and I want to be with him, so I should wait, right?

Why can't you date while you wait?

I feel like it's one or the other, you know? I'm either dating or I'm waiting,

- and right now, I'm... - (clunking and jingling)

Oh, my God, someone's breaking in!

He's robbing Martina!

Okay, we gotta call 9-1-1.

- Grab... grab your phone. - Okay. Good idea.

- Whoa. - Whoa.

I'm not stealing, okay? I was just taking money out of the jar...

which sounds a lot like stealing, but it's not.

Okay, well, I'm calling 9-1-1.

- No, no, no, no, seriously. - Oh, just save it.

Wait, wait, wait, Sofia. Let the cute guy talk.

- Hi, what's your name? - Rob.

What's your last name? "Ber"?

Rob Ber. You're funny.

I'm funny too.

Gabi. Explain yourself.

My car is parked next door in the garage

and I can't get it out because they only accept cash.

I tried the ATM, but it's broken.

I saw the light on, so I came in to see if I could borrow 20 from Martina.

Oh, Sofia, he knows Martina. It's fine.

Gabi, what does that say?

Martina's.

Oh.

Look, I was definitely gonna pay the money back tomorrow.

I love dolphins. You know they're the only animals that have sex

for pleasure, well, besides us?

Oh, my God, dimples and brains.

Look, I really gotta go. I'll just find another ATM.

No! No, don't go!

Um, I mean, uh...

Here you go.

What are you doing?

I promise, I'm gonna pay you back.

- Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen. - Over dinner tomorrow night?

What?

Gabi, let me get your number.

- I thought you said you were wait... - Dating. I said dating.

What's so funny?

Is that the video I sent you of Elliot trying to do yoga?

No, this is better.

His name is Rob.

Oh, I'd get in a bunch of positions with him!

Yolanda, we met last night at Martina's and it was so romantic.

I loaned him money.

Why are we whispering?

Well, Josh is doing his therapy thing,

and we never talked about my thing seeing other things,

so I don't want him to know about my maybe dinner thing

'cause that can maybe ruin everything.

Oh, I get it!

While Josh is on pause,

you wanna get in someone else's drawers.

You nasty!

Well, it's not like I want to be with anybody else.

You know, I wanna be with Josh,

but when he rejected me, it felt so bad,

and when Rob asked me out, it felt so good.

And you know, good is so much better than bad.

Plus, I mean, helloooo.

Ooh, hello! It's him.

Who?

It's you. I'm excited it's you.

Aw, thanks. I'm excited too.

You know, my therapist just gave me this new technique

to help me with my commitment issues.

Intensive journaling.

I just write down all my thoughts and feelings right here,

kind of like the journal that I kept as a kid, except this time,

my super hot nanny won't read it and quit.

Gabi, I really think I'm on the verge of a breakthrough.

A breakthrough? Wow. Hey, that's... that's great.

Um, you don't think that's gonna happen before tonight, do you?

No, it doesn't work that fast.

Okay, then you shouldn't use the word "verge."

So what kinds of things do you journal about?

Elliot, my journal is private.

Fine. I don't need to know.

I must know.

I cannot believe you are gonna go out with that robber.

Rob.

Gabi, the only reason I let you give him your phone number

is because I thought he was so sketchy, he would never call.

But he did!

Yay!

Gabi, I looked him up. He's not on Facebook.

You know who's not on Facebook?

Criminals, hoodlums, and my Aunt Becky who lives in the forest.

Sofie, it's just one date, okay? Will you stop freaking out?

And let's look at the facts.

A, he's really hot, and B...

- (knocking) - He's here.

$20 and nine cents interest.

- I work in finance. - (gasps)

He has a job!

Oh, yeah? Prove it.

Oh, boy. Anyone can make a gold-embossed business card

with a bank's official logo with three different ways of contacting them.

I see it all the time.

- Okay. My car's downstairs. - Oh, so is hers.

Gabi, you're driving because I want you to be able to get away

- if he starts any funny business. - Sofia...

And I want you to check in with me every hour on the hour, and if you don't...

Yeah, do you wanna just come with us?

I think that would probably be for the best.

Go!

Okay, Josh, we're gonna go...

unless you need me to do anything else...

like run a hot bath, play some Enya, and read your journal back to you.

Uh, no thanks, guys. I'm good. I'll see you tomorrow.

That was just sad.

Am I the only one who's dying to know

what's in that journal?

Frankly, I don't think it's any of our business.

You saw it!

Maybe I did.

Maybe I was dusting his office.

Maybe I looked over his shoulder.

And maybe you should start looking for another job.

What?

Hm, I can't say anymore.

But I did read the words

"need to make a change," "dead weight,"

and, "Do I really need a publicist?"

Oh! But I do remember one good thing.

Yeah?

He said I was the mother he always dreamed of having.

- (ding) - (laughs)

_

Rob, tonight has been really fun.

I am so glad that dolphin broke his flipper.

You make it sound like the night's over.

Oh. Well, I didn't mean to. It was an accident.

I'm gonna run into the liquor store and grab us a bottle of wine.

Okay.

Hello?

Sofia, it's my ten o'clock check-in.

Gabi, if he's holding you against your will, say "banana."

Will you give it a rest? We've been talking nonstop.

I told him all about my job being a chef

and he told me all about his job doing...

something that requires something boring.

Trust me, he's a really great guy.

You were so wrong about him and you have nothing to worry about.

Oh, he's coming. Okay, I gotta go. Bye.

- Hey. - Drive, drive, drive!

Oh, my God!

Banana, banana, banana!

I told you he was bad!

What happened?

Um, we may have just a little bit...

robbed a liquor store.

What?!

Quick! I need lighter fluid, nail polish remover,

and more hairspray!

I have to destroy the evidence!

Gabi, just...

Okay, just tell me exactly what happened!

No! I can't!

Or you won't have that thing where you don't know anything!

Huh?

You know, the thing

where you can't testify against me because you don't have any information.

You mean for robbing a liquor store? You already told me.

Damn it!

Okay, just take a deep breath please

and... and then tell me exactly what happened.

Okay, so right after I talked to you and everything was going great,

everything went bad.

Rob jumped in the car with his hood up,

all out of breath and yelled, "Drive, drive, drive!"

So, I asked him, you know, "Rob, what's wrong?"

But he screamed, "Just drive!"

So, I just drove and after a few blocks, he remembered he "had a thing,"

so I dropped him off at some corner and he ran into the night!

Oh, my God! We gotta call the police!

No, no, no, no! Sofia, I drove the getaway car.

I'm an accessory!

Oh, my God, what if he comes back to kill me because I'm a witness?!

Gabi, believe me, that guy is so far out of town right now.

- (knocking) - Gabi, it's Rob!

Oh, my God, he's in town. He's in town!

Okay, calm down, calm down. What do you think he's gonna do?

Murder you for being a witness and then murder me

for witnessing him murder a witness?

Oh, no...