Uncle Buck

Buck, Buck

Give it up for Buck Russell!

And the new king of the beer can pyramids!

Thanks, Cy.

My friends, dreams do come true.

And I got this big-ass beer pyramid to prove it!

Hail to the King!

Aw.

Oh!

Everybody, quiet. It's my fiancée.

Hey, boo.

How's the job search going?

Oh, real good.

A-A-A lot of leads, a lot of contacts.

I-It's going real good, yeah.

Oh, so you're not at the bar building a pyramid of beer cans?

That's a highly specific accusation.

Where'd you get that idea?

My queen!

I knew I smelled fabric softener.

Baby, you're supposed to be

getting ready to go to the airport,

not re-folding towels that Irena already folded.

Ow!

And you're ironing.

So, should we go over your speech another time?

And you're working?

Wow!

Hey, Mr. Russell.

- Goodbye, Amy. - No!

Alexis, you got to stop doing this.

There's multitasking

and then there's meth-head-tasking.

I know, it's crazy.

But with the move and my new job,

I mean, things are a little out of control around here,

and I just wanted to

get a handle on a few things before I leave.

You know my nickname at work, right?

- The Fixer. - That's right.

There's a problem with a design, I fix it.

I'm the Michael Clayton of architects.

That's why I hired this housekeeper to help you.

But you've got to let it work.

Let The Fixer...

fix it.

Miles, Maizy, stop shooting Irena!

Can you guys keep it down?! We're trying to study.

Who's "we"?

What's up, Mr. and Mrs. Russell?

Okay, Fixer, fix that.

Oh, Irena, at least stay until the end of the weekend.

Will and I are both going out of town.

I can't stay here!

Your children are...

terrorists!

What were you two thinking?

We were testing her

to see if she's worthy of taking care of us.

And if we had been real terrorists,

we'd all be dead by now.

Or taken hostage.

That's it.

No more CNN for you.

Now, go upstairs. You're both grounded.

Come back here, Tia.

What the hell was that boy doing in your room?

Honey, I think this is mother-daughter territory,

and yelling is not gonna help.

Fine, but that was hardly yelling.

Like level two.

Titi, we're not mad at you.

But we're not fans of Jordan.

He's a senior, and he's a bit of a player.

And wasn't he the guy that drew a penis

on your friend Gary's forehead?

He's actually nice. I've been tutoring him.

Tutoring means something completely different to Jordan,

and I don't want him tutoring you into an early pregnancy.

I can't believe this!

First you move me from Atlanta to Chicago,

away from my friends.

And now when a cool guy likes me,

one that isn't in the robotics club,

you decide to ruin it in the five minutes you're actually here.

This sucks!

Give her level five.

On it. You don't disrespect your mother that way.

Oh, you're grounded, too. Go to your room.

Everybody's grounded!

The world is grounded!

Need anything else fixed?

Yeah. Someone to watch the kids this weekend.

- What is this about? - Mnh-mnh! Mnh-mnh!

- What is this about? - Mnh-mnh!

You said you were gonna look for a job, Buck.

I got one.

I'm the king.

Someone's in here.

No one is talking to you.

Look, Buck, please, you need to listen to me.

I'm trying to listen to you, but it's hard to focus,

'cause your juicy ham got me thinking of Christmas.

Really? Oh, my God.

- Ooh. - Stop it!

Look! You need to grow your ass up.

So listen to me. This is what you're gonna do.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - You're gonna come to dinner tonight,

- and my daddy is gonna offer you a job at one of his stores... - No. I...

...and you are going to take it.

I don't want to work at no Spanx store!

It's not Spanx, it's men's shapewear.

Okay, well, it's not for me, Jackie, okay?

I'm a free spirit.

You need to let me fly.

I'm part hawk, part eagle. I'm a heagle.

Seriously, guys, I can't focus.

- Shut up! - Whoo!

May I remind "The Heagle" that he is living with me

in the condo that my daddy bought

and he is enjoying the booty that my daddy created.

So if he wants that to continue,

then he better show up tonight.

All I heard was "booty."

Just be there, Buck.

Mmm!

Okay.

The Harrisons can't watch the kids.

They're on a juice cleanse in Santa Fe.

- We need more black friends. - This is my fault.

I took this job, moved us up here, upset everyone's lives,

and now Miles and Maizy are acting out,

and our straight-"A" student is turning into Black Amanda Bynes.

Come on. She's barely Black Selena Gomez.

I run a non-profit that mentors at-risk girls,

and our girl is becoming more at-risk every day.

I'm just gonna cancel my speech.

No! You need to be at that fundraiser,

and I got to meet with this client.

Now, there is a solution we haven't talked about.

And don't say no till I've told you what it is.

- Not Buck. - What is your problem with Buck?

The kids barely know your brother.

The last time we saw Buck,

he poisoned our dog with chocolate.

Here's the thing... Buck's our only option.

Besides, Buck has changed.

He's got a fiancée and a job.

He's really got his act together.

Sir, you came in the wrong way.

I know, 'cause there's no line this way.

Can I get your keys?

I got a screwdriver.

Give me a minute.

I got to make some life choices around here.

Oh, Will! Hey, Will, what's up?

Buck, Buck, we need someone to watch the kids this weekend.

Any chance you're free?

Watch the kids?

I don't know, man.

Come on, it will be fun... like a getaway.

You like a getaway, right?

Come to think of it, I would love to get away.

Text me the address to the new house

- and I'll be through in a few. - All right, man.

Why aren't you getting out of the car, Buck?

Look, I got to go.

Family emergency.

Give the Spanx King my love.

It is men's shapewear

Ooh, damn, brother!

You designed this yourself?

This is nice.

Yep. It's my dream house.

I see little Pepper's still mad at me.

Yeah, she's got a long memory.

We actually had to take your pictures down.

- Hello, Buck. - Girl, get yourself on in here.

Mmm!

Mmm! Damn, you stiff.

Listen, there's a lot to go over.

Will will be in Toronto. I will be in Minneapolis.

There's a binder in the kitchen that has everything you need.

I also left you some cash.

No, no, no!

I don't need your cash. I'm good. Y'all family.

I got a sock full of quarters out there in the car,

and I got some scratch-offs that I feel real confident about.

Cash is on the counter.

That's probably wise.

Who the hell are you?

- Who the hell are you? - Hey!

Watch your language.

It's your Uncle Buck.

Boy, you done growed up.

To be... Uh, that's, uh, um...

Miles.

Yeah, that's... that's what I was about to say.

And that has got to be the beautiful, um...

Maizy.