Lessons in Chemistry

Miss Zott, please explain how you plan on taking

the X-ray diffraction images outlined in your proposal

without first drying the protein into a mineral crystalline form.

Dr. James Bernal and Dr. Dorothy Crowfoot Hodgkin

have pioneered a technique that allows them

to expose pepsin crystals for X-ray crystallography

within the mother liquor solution from which they crystallized.

In their crystalline form, the proteins are largely solvent by volume

within the cellular environment from which they function.

This allows me the unique opportunity

to image both larger proteins and nucleic acids.

Huh.

I'm happy to elaborate.

Thought I'd find you here. Always working.

Hardly. I just keep looking at the clock.

What did they say? Tell me everything.

It's too soon to know for sure, but you just about knocked their socks off, kid.

Really? I can't believe it.

- Look, like I said, it's not official yet. - Who are the holdouts?

Meyers. He's old guard.

Did you see his face when I parried on X-ray crystallography?

He really thought that he had me there.

One of the proudest moments of my academic career.

Dr. Bates, um, I--

Oh, God, no. It's okay. We're the only ones here.

Oh. Um, no, um...

I don't-- I don't feel that way about you, Dr. Bates.

Hey, don't play dumb, Elizabeth. We both know you're anything but dumb.

- I should-- - Hey, hey.

- Not in here. I should-- - Just wait. Hey, hey. Hey, just--

Would you hold on? Just stop. Hold on.

- Hold still. Just hold still. - Stop!

Please!

God! Christ almighty.

You fucking bitch!

You're a very lucky girl.

Dr. Bates has agreed not to file an aggravated assault charge against you.

However, the department has asked for a formal statement of regret

to proceed with your PhD candidacy.

They want me to apologize?

Miss Zott, these types of misunderstandings,

they rarely allow for second chances.

This is an elegant solution that works for everyone.

Unless, of course, you'd prefer to discontinue your PhD candidacy.

But I am currently running experiments. I'm months away from publishing.

You stabbed a tenured professor with a pencil.

Express regret for your actions,

and we will pretend like none of this unfortunate business ever happened.

Now that I think about it, I do have one regret.

Good.

I regret not having more pencils.

I would like to return to my previous lab position as soon as possible.

Not sure I follow.

I no longer wish to work with Calvin Evans.

I see. May I ask why?

It's just not working out.

Aw, I'm so sorry, I really am, but sadly my hands are tied.

For Christ's sake, Fran. What do I have to do?

- Is there a form I need to fill out? - A 20-step exit interview?

Whatever meaningless hoops you want me to jump through, I will do it.

You're a real piece of work.

Not even Dr. Calvin Evans is good enough for you now?

- Excuse me? - Since the day you got here,

you have just acted like you are so much better than the rest of us.

Marching around these halls

with your perfect little nose up like you invented penicillin.

- Penicillin wasn't invented. It was disc-- - Oh, spare me.

I don't need to be lectured by somebody so totally clueless.

- What do you mean? - I told you

that things would get complicated with Dr. Evans, but you didn't listen to me.

Because I'm a silly, superficial woman, right?

What could I possibly have to teach a great lab technician such as yourself?

- I'm a chemist. - You are a snob is what you are.

You're too good to participate in Little Miss Hastings,

it doesn't matter how much time and effort

- went into-- - I did participate!

No, you left early. And you didn't tell anybody.

So, another lucky girl could've had that spot.

Who could possibly care about a fake pageant?

I care! It's my job to care.

And I think-- You know, I think people would agree,

it's a more important job than opening up your legs

to the most prestigious scientist in this joint.

That is unequivocally false.

You know, Dr. Evans isn't exactly popular,

but he's a damn good scientist.

And you're neither.

You cannot force me to work with him out of spite. I'll talk to Dr. Donatti.

Be my guest.

He'll tell you that we already filled your position in the amino acids lab.

A bright young fellow from Harvard. On his recommendation, in fact.

You made your bed. It's not my fault you have to lie in it.

Hi.

Hello.

Can we talk?

Could you please go to that side of the room? This is my side.

I've created a new spatial system that will maximize our research productivity

while also respecting each other's boundaries.

That will be your side of the lab. This will be my side of the lab.

Obviously, the room is not perfectly symmetrical,

so I gave myself 11 square centimeters less,

which I think is only fair considering our body mass differential.

Elizabeth, I don't understand. What did I do that was so wrong?

It's just clearer this way.

Is it hygiene related? Because you'll notice no more underwear.

I promise not to eat saltines in the lab anymore.

Whatever it is, I'm certain that I can make it right.

Dr. Evans, I'm in the middle of something.

Could we have this conversation at a later date?

Of course.

Should I--

How about I-I take off?

Give you the place to yourself.

Very well then.

Oh, don't eat that! You'll make yourself sick.

Wait here. I'll be right back.

Hmm.

Oh! Nice to meet you too.

Um-- Well, best of luck to you.

Oh.

Are you ready to extract DNA from a strawberry?

Here we go.

- That's it? - Hello.

"That's it?"

You are looking at the instruction manual for life.

That looks like a booger.

Oh, boy.

- Can we watch TV? - Mm-hmm.

Thanks for watching them.

I tried.

And meanwhile, the California Highway Commission

sent surveyors out despite our petition.

Or maybe because of it.

They were taking measurements near the church. Can you imagine?

Mmm. That's awful.

Is there anything I can do?

Yes, actually.

The city council is having a meeting at the end of the month.

And the Adams-Washington Committee is presenting our case against the freeway.

If you came, showed your support, it could make a big difference.

Sure, but I don't have any expertise in urban development.

You don't need expertise. I've got that.

What I need is someone who looks like you standing on our side of the room,

backing me up when I say this is a community issue.

I'll be there. You can count on it.

Thank you.

You okay?

Yeah.

He's not in the building.

Give us the room.

This is the third week in a row I have had to cancel my tee time to sit in a room,

waiting for a ghost.

- Sir, I was-- - Calvin Evans is a star.

Hastings need stars.

We need the awards and grants that follow them.

Stars are not disposable.

You are not a star, Robert.

You are a suit.

Suits are disposable.

So let's, uh, skip the pretense of these weekly meetings

in this incredibly depressing room, and, uh, we'll set a deadline.

I'm giving you to February the first to get Evans in here,

presenting his Remsen submission.

A day later and you are out.

Oh, don't be cross, Robert. I'm a suit too.

It's just that, uh, mine is more expensive.

Where's Evans?

I couldn't venture.

He cares for you, doesn't he?

You would have to ask him that.

Layoffs are coming.

If he doesn't secure the Remsen funding by the top of the year,

I will have to fire people.

Lab techs, for example.

Secretaries. All the female support staff are gonna have to go first.

The men, they need to take care of their families.

When you're in my position,

these are the things you have to consider.

Dr. Donatti, is that a threat?

When I fire them, I will tell them the truth.

That it is the fault of the girl that distracted Calvin Evans.

Calvin?

Calvin.

Calvin.

- What? - Donatti came by the lab yesterday.

So what?

He's going to fire people, if you don't win the Remsen.

More pressure. Perfect.

Perfect.

Do you know what I've done since I last won the Remsen two years ago?

Do you?

Nothing.

Nothing.

I go into my lab every day, and I shut the door so that no one will see

that I haven't accomplished a damn thing.

I'm out of ideas.

And then I met you... ...and you had so many.

And it was like I could breathe again.

We were building something.

And then you just--