Marvel's Avengers Assemble

Modok: One more time, you arrogant subroutine!

Jarvis: Negative, you are attempting to illegally access Stark technology.

Modok: Engaging offline application, mark one.

Jarvis: Processing... Access granted.

Welcome back, Mr. Stark.

Modok: That is how you hack software. He's all yours.

Computer, you will refer to me as "Master."

Replay simulation. Avengers versus my Cabal.

As you wish... Master.

Enough! Don't you see..

Jarvis: As you know, the Stark pre-play variable system

compiles data collected in combat,

creating predictive strategies that drastically increase

the Avengers' efficiency in battle.

It's my turn!

Modify pre-play input. Assume that the Cabal works as a unit.

Assume that they perform like Avengers.

Jarvis: Doubtful, but interesting... Master.

Jarvis: Success, 40%.

Red Skull: An understatement, computer.

The transformation of the Cabal's strategy would be significant.

Jarvis: Success, 60%.

Jarvis: Success, 80%. Master, you have discovered a weakness

in the Avengers' defense strategy.

Finally! Play it through.

Modok: Is Stark's little video game all you hoped it would be?

It is the key to everything, M.O.D.O.K.

The Cabal's time is at hand,

and Tony Stark has shown me the way.

Jarvis: Success, 100%.

Sync and corrections by masaca

Disgusting.

Silence, head, before I pop you like a blowfish.

The repugnant one does have a point.

They're called "Utensils." Try one.

You do not command me. I'm a warlord of Atlantis,

you are a king of leeches.

Hmm?

Computer, implement a proper response.

Jarvis: Your wish is my command... Master.

Huh?

A cold, red center.

Perfect.

You've never shown such skill. Explain.

What you see before you is a software

that was locked deep inside my armor.

The program contains a limitless array of battle tactics and strategies.

It is one of Iron man's most critical tools.

With it, we have the means to destroy our enemies

by using their own methods against them...

With one problem.

Success requires a talent that this group sorely lacks.

Trust.

If success is what you crave,

are you willing

to trust me?

Lord Dracula, if you please.

Man: No! What is happening?

Red Skull: (Over speakers) Washington, D.C.!

Your city has been chosen as the first to witness

the power of the Cabal!

Hand over your leaders to us, and we shall be merciful.

Defy us, and we shall not.

It has begun! The future of the Cabal rests with you.

We will do our part, Skull.

If you fail us again, there is nothing in this world

nor any other, that will stop me from feasting upon your soul.

That would be terrifying, vampire,

if I had a soul.

Meet your new king!

Tank!

Is that the best you humans can muster?

Red Skull: Attuma, you have two minutes and 38 seconds!

M.O.D.O.K., the vultures are gathering.

Forty-five seconds slower than you predicted, Skull.

When we rule the world, I will see to it the planes run on time.

Cabal! They are here!

Bah! It's only The Thunderer!

I shall knock him back into the sky!

Yeah, what are you going to do to me, fish face?

They're here.

Red Skull: Impossible! How could they get here so quickly?

My plan was foolproof!

So says the fool!

Announcing that you're attacking Washington, D.C.?

Are you getting more desperate, or just plain dumber?

We are at our strongest. The Avengers' day has come!

No!

If by "day," you mean another day the Avengers hand you your bony butt,

sure.

Since you hooked up with the Adaptoid,

you're all body and no brain, M.O.D.O.K.

What?

Black Widow: Something's different. The Cabal aren't usually this coordinated.

Hawkeye: Maybe, but a target's still a target.

Jarvis: Master, the percentages are moving so rapidly,

even I'm getting dizzy.

Shut up, computer!

Cabal, listen to me!

Stay with the plan! Cabal! Cabal!

Iron man: In record time. Man, even I'm starting to feel embarrassed for you.

The Cabal might not take D.C. today...

But you Avengers won't be around to see it!

Computer, commence self-destruct sequence.

Wha... Avengers, move!

(Groans)

Quickly, regroup!

Attuma!

M.O.D.O.K.?

Dracula?

So much for trust.

Hawkeye: Well, I say we take the next month off.

I'm gonna need a month just to enjoy this moment!

Say "defeat!"

That's my new profile pic.

Wouldn't believe it if I wasn't seeing it with my own eye.

Might want to back up.

I know standard procedure's to confiscate his armor,

but Skull may have it booby-trapped.

I'll get it off him.

Didn't I just say not to do that?

I did, right?

Thor: I know you are angry, but you will break... (Straining)

Just an arm!

Something's wrong. This was too easy.

Don't be such a star-spangled spoilsport.

We do actually catch the bad guys. Once in a while.

Cap's right. As long as the rest of the Cabal is out there,

Skull's still a threat.

Okay, put the victory cake back in the fridge.

Falcon, we got a blown-up Cabal sub to check out.

Falcon: Sounds like a hoot.

Captain America: Skull's team couldn't have gotten far.

Use the Aven-jet's tracking systems,

local police bands, cell feeds, anything that can catch their scent.

And what of you, Captain?

I got a Skull to crack.

I've watched you sacrifice thousands of lives for your own petty ambitions.

Never once have I seen you risk your own for a teammate...

Until today. That troubles me.

We do know each other well, don't we, Captain?

That will make my victory all the more sweet.

Victory? You have no chance of escape.

All your so-called allies abandoned you.

In order to escape, I would first have to have been captured.

And as for allies,

You seem to be the only one who has been abandoned.

Sometimes being right really bites.

Clever choice of words...

Meat.