Lopez

220 in the air, another 30 on the roll,

- so 260. - Not gonna argue with that math.

George!

- What are you doing here? - There was a little snafu

with the Adam Sandler celebrity golf tournament

that you're supposed to be in this weekend.

Like, there is no Adam Sandler tourney this weekend.

The sultan of Brunei offered him 500K

to play around as his "Happy Gilmore" character.

How come you don't get me gigs like that?

Well, I didn't book that particular gig, Danny did.

- Danny's my manager too. - Yeah, well, listen.

If you would calm down...

Hey, if you would just pause for one second,

I will tell you about the gig that Danny and I and Gabrielo did get you.

Yeah, it's the... the George Lopez charity golf tournament.

- Ta-da. - Oh, my God, that's amazing.

- When is that? - Well, it's... So, try to follow me.

You'll be here, but Sandler will be all the way in Brunei.

Basically, Chebby wants you to take over the tournament from Sandler.

He's handing you the torch.

George Lopez golf tournament, that... that... I can't believe that.

I thought it was a Toyota tournament. When did Chevy take over?

Well, Toyota dropped out when Sandler did,

but then Chebby stepped in.

Wait, you keep saying "Chebby"?

Yeah, that's right. It's a Chinese car company.

That calls itself Chebby?

Aren't people gonna confuse it with Chevy like I did?

- Yeah, that's the point. - It's a golf tournament

sponsored by an Asian car company.

It's the perfect platform to impress our friends in Vegas.

Plus, it was a total team effort,

Danny lobbying hard for Majorca, but me, here on the ground.

Well, you know what?

Need a couple more buckets, man, I gotta practice.

No... not now. You gotta go.

You have a meeting with Chebby. And a charity.

- I don't know where it is. - Well, I'll text you the details.

- I'll text you the details. - Manolo, come on. Let's go, fool!

You gotta go.

They want me to host my own tournament!

Can you believe it? I can't believe it.

No, man. That's awesome.

You bet your ass it's awesome...

Wait.

Who are you?

Oh, Dad.

Uh, this is Damon. He's the one taking me to Burning Man.

- He goes every year. - Oh, hey, Damon. What's up?

Yeah, there's no way he's taking you to Burning Man.

Relax, Mr. Lopez.

- Relax? - Well, no one will be driving.

My dad got us one of those driverless cars.

Yeah, that's smart.

You don't have to worry about keeping your hands on the wheel.

You guys can just sit in the backseat, do whatever you want.

- No way. - Dad, come on.

Am I just gonna sit at Mom's house all weekend and do nothing?

Yes, that's a great idea. Better get moving. Pack a bag.

Nice to meet you, Jason.

Listen, man, can't keep the charity people waiting.

They're more powerful than the mob these days.

On the couch, little separation.

Your dad's kind of scary.

Diabetes, that's...

That's a very important issue.

It's actually type 2 diabetes.

- Is that one better? - Well, we think so.

I mean, yeah, type 1 gets all the glory, but, uh...

type 2 will sneak up on you.

Is type 2 the one you get from drinking a lot of soda and eating candy?

We don't like getting into the blame game here, George.

It's time that type 2 is no longer

the redheaded stepchild of type 1.

Hey, I can feel your passion.

You're right... type 2 is definitely a...

very worthy cause and most definitely deserving

of its own celebrity golf tournament.

Exactly.

- We are so pleased to have you aboard. - Thank you.

Ton of people dropped out when Sandler left.

Mm-hmm.

Rob Schneider was a, uh... a big loss.

Big star.

But you're here now and we are so excited

to see how you replenish the ranks.

Replenish?

Hey, you guys never told me I had to find my own celebrities.

You know how hard that is?

Well, we didn't expect so many of them to drop out.

Yeah, totally unexpected.

It's been an exodus of biblical proportions.

You need to stem that tide.

I guess I could ask Eddie Griffin, Don Cheadle...

Seal started to play golf... I know he likes it.

- Those are good names. - Really good, yeah.

You have good friends. It's just...

Just what?

It's just that they're a little bit colorful, George.

You know, we were hoping for a little more diversity.

Diversity... that's code for black and brown people.

Traditionally, yes. Yes, absolutely.

But in this case, we're thinking golf people.

- Golf people. - Yeah, like Blake Shelton.

Or an Adam Levine. Or Carson Daly, perhaps.

Or the Osmans. You know, Pat Boone.

Casper the friendly ghost, his girlfriend, Wendy.

- You're upset. - Ollie Joe Hazmit.

That's not even a name.

But you know that we need to appeal to whites and Asians

to land this Vegas residency.

That's right, George.

You've done a great job of building your brand

with your base audience,

but now we need to build on that, okay?

Does it have to be white celebrities?

Yes, that's why we're here and not at Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles.

Is this a taco place?

No, Olly said this is the hippest in-place around.

Wait a minute. It is a taco place.

And it's expensive.

What's a truffle taco?

$85, whatever it is.

That's why I'm glad George is paying.

All right, guys. I need white celebrities. Look around.

Hey, ask that guy if he's the guy from "Homeland."

Excuse me. Are you from "Homeland"?

- I knew that wasn't. - Hey, I can get you Steinfeld.

He gets his car detailed by one of my boys.

- That dude is funny. - Okay, you do that, Manolo.

See if you can get Jason Alexander too.

I'll try, but I don't know him like I do Big J.

- Big J? - That's my nickname for him.

He loves it. Hey, look. It's your friend.

Tiddlypie? That fool ain't my friend.

Maybe you can get him to play in your tournament.

Okay, I said I needed celebrities.

- He's not a celebrity. - Oh, but he is a celebrity.

He's got a modeling contract with "Vogue"

and a holding deal with NBC.

- And he's white. - White.

- You want fries with that? - Hey, George! How you doin' man?

'Sup, Tiddlypie. How you doin', man?

You want to take a selfie? No problem, no problem.

- (camera clicking) - There we go, man.

Hey, man, listen, I'm hosting a golf tournament this weekend.

Oh, man! I love golf!

Wow, cool, 'cause I actually wanted to see

if you wanted to play.

Uh, looks like I just landed Jerry Seinfeld.

- It's for charity and stuff. - I love Seinfeld!

- Hey, what charity? - Diabetes.

- Juvenile? - No.

- Oh, uh, type 1? - No.

- Oh, type 2. - Type 2.

The soda one.

Well, they don't like to play the blame game.

Totally, get it. Yeah, that should still be fine.

- Oh, good. - Hey, hey.

- Let's take another selfie. - All right.

- Cool, there you go. - All right.

See you then!

- Hey, Olly. - You got Tiddlypie?

Yes, yes, I did.

George, you should have told me this.

I had to hear it from Danny.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. So Danny represents Tiddlypie too?

Uh... bottom line, George, bud, you did great.

Chebby is thrilled. (chuckles) They already posted it on the website.

Are you over there yet?

No, I'm at the driving range. I'm gonna practice a little bit.

George, your meeting with Chebby's in ten minutes.

- Go, go, go! - One small issue...

Tiddlypie gets $50,000 in performance fees.

Well, hey, if they're wiling to pay $50,000...

Oh, they don't pay.

Then who pays?

Well, it is the George Lopez golf tournament.

Oh.

In comfort and style,

Tamaro: The car of tomorrow.

Anyone who knocks a hole in one will be the proud owner of this baby.

- The Chebby Tamaro Hybrid. - Did you say Camaro?

Ta-maro: it means "wind" or something in Chinese.

Now we're also replacing the shifter bezel with stronger material,

replacing the 6.2-inch touch screen with a better 7-inch model.

Oh, yeah. That sounds good.

And if you wouldn't mind working in a few jokes

that trumpet our new nickel-plated batteries,

our design team will be much appreciative.

Come on, man, I got a whole filing cabinet

full of nickel-plated battery jokes.

Oh, George Lopez coming through!

Now about the celebrity players.

We love Tiddlypie. He is so funny, I cannot even.

"I cannot even"... Is that good?

- Oh, it's great. - All right.

Who else you got?

Um...