St. Patrick's Day Massacre

- This next one's for you, Father.

- Oh, I'm not here for the celebrations.

- No, he's here with his collection plate!

- Well now, Tom, a penny less spent on drink

wouldn't do you any harm, now would it?

And it is the day of our patron saint after all.

- All the more reason for a drink, then!

Won't you join us, Father?

Oh, go on, just the one perhaps.

Where is she?

I said where is she?

- Ah, who is it you'd be after there, Darragh?

- You know damn well who I'm after!

My Nora, that's who!

Can't say that I've seen her.

Anybody else?

- I know she's been foolin' around with that Micky Doyle.

And I know this is where he comes drinkin'!

- Really now, Darragh, we've not seen her.

Now won't you please just calm down?

- I'll calm down when my wife's home where she oughtta be!

- Now come on, we all know what day it is, son.

It's the day of St. Patrick,

when the light of Christian kindness first came

to our emerald island.

Surely it's a day for forgiveness, and kindness.

A day when we can all come together

and remember what the good Lord said.

Nora!

- Darragh, it's not what it looks like.

Micky Doyle.

No. Please.

Nora?

Nora!

Where is she?

Gone.

Out the door, running for her life.

Then get out of my way.

- We can't let you go after her, Darragh.

- You'll do as I damn well tell ya!

- It's murder what you've done up there.

I know you had good cause and all, but-

Good cause?

So you knew what she was up to?

Suppose you all knew, did ya?

That she's carryin' on behind me back?

- Remember Darragh, what the Good Lord said about adultery.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

- Suppose you were the first to know!

You know all the town's sins, don't ya?

Thanks to that confession box.

Did she tell you where?

And when?

And how many times?

That's enough, Darragh!

Maeve!

Put down that blade.

- You'll have to take it from me.

- You think we don't have the guts, Darragh?

- I think you won't have them for long.

- It doesn't have to be this way, Darragh!

I think it does, Tom.

It's clear to me now.

Y'all been laughing at me behind me back.

Thinkin' me a fool.

Well now you're going to let me walk out of here like a man.

Or else I'll kill every damn one of you!

- Here ya go, four special Saint Patrick's Day cocktails!

One for you.

What's your name?

Daisy.

- A pretty name for a pretty girl, eh?

And one for you.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

- So you girls all from England, then?

Not all of us.

But we're all over here from London.

- Here for the Saint Patrick's Day weekend, eh?

I thought we could soak up

some traditional Irish culture.

- Well you've come to the right place.

The finest bar in Dublin, or so they tell me.

What exactly is in this?

Ah, coconut rum, pineapple,

and a whole lotta' green food coloring.

- This is a traditional Irish drink?

Sure!

We've been selling these for years.

So, are you gonna introduce me

to your lovely friends, here?

Sure.

This is Kendra,

Sian and Leena.

What's your name?

Connor.

Look, I gotta get back over there.

Maybe I'll catch you girls later, yeah?

Did you see that?

He spent the whole time staring at Daisy

and barely glanced at the rest of us.

- I can't help it if you guys don't make an effort.

Make an effort?

Look at this suit!

- We're not all here on a manhunt.

- I wonder what time he gets off?

Come on, Sian's right.

We're here for a girls' weekend,

probably the last one, right?

- Yeah, I've got a job lined up in Switzlerland

after the summer.

- I'll probably go back to Manchester.

My PhD is almost done.

I guess I'll be heading back home, too.

How about you, Sian?

I'm not too sure yet.

- Well, anyhow, we need to make the most of this trip.

Everyone raise a glass.

- Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

- Ah, wait, let me get a picture!

- Hurry up, Daisy, my arm's gonna fall off.

Smile!

Oh.

I've been thinking.

I'm fine. Thanks.

- This is everyone's first time in Ireland, right?

And some of us have been having

a bit of a hard time of it lately.

So what are we doing sitting here

with these stupid cocktails?

Let's go see Ireland!

We came here to soak up some Irish culture,

not to go drinking in bars.

- I think drinking in bars is the Irish culture.

You know what I mean.

Like if you want to get drunk,

let's at least go find a real Irish pub.

Somewhere with a little history.

This place could be anywhere in London or LA.

I like it here.

- You like the guy serving the drinks.

- I just love his accent, it's so sexy.

- Daisy, every one here has the same accent.

No, his is different.

- On that note, look who's coming back.

Sorry about that.

Can I get you girls anything else?

- We were wondering if you had any recommendations

for places we could go visit around here?

- Leena would like to get drunk somewhere more historic.

That's not what I said!

She's our resident historian.

PhD in dusty old books.

My family has Irish ancestry.

- You've no idea how many Americans say that.

Especially on Saint Patrick's Day.

I'm serious.

It's the whole reason why I wanted to go study in Britain.

- Britain and Ireland aren't exactly

the same thing, y'know.

I know that.

You know what?

I'm going to the bathroom.

Be a shame if you all left.

Anyway, I wouldn't exactly be doing my job

if I told you to go an' drink somewhere else, would I?

- Are you exactly doing your job now?

- So what's this, a girls' weekend away?

- We do a trip like this every year.

This one was Leena's idea.

She wanted to reconnect with her Irish ancestry.

Look, I can't help ya.

I'm not a Dubliner.

I came up from from Kilkenny for the weekend.

You know there's a lot of bar work going this time of year,

lots of tourists, if you know what I mean?

Like us?

- I wouldn't exactly call you tourists.

"Visitors", more like.

What's the difference?

Visitors we welcome.

Tourists, we just take their money.

- What sort of welcome would you give me?

A warm one, definitely.

Uh, can I get past?

- Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.

It's just I couldn't help but overhear

that you're looking for a place with history.

Right.

- Well, it just so happens I've got a place nearby.

Been in my family for generations.

Um, what kind of place?

- A tavern, I guess they would've called it in the old days.

Been standing on the same spot for about 200 years.

Probably one of the oldest buildings in Dublin.

- And, um, it's not some kind of tourist trap?

What do you mean?

- Like it costs a bunch of money to get in,

and then the drinks are like 50 bucks each?

No, no, no.

This is a real traditional place.