High Time

This is just about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.

That's tough.

At least have some consideration for us, Dad.

Oh, nonsense.

But you're behaving like a bloody fool, Dad, a bloody fool.

Never mind how I'm behaving.

Dad, you just can't do this to me.

Well, I'm doing it. Will you take the bags to the dormitories?

I'm going to be the laughing stock.

My heart bleeds for you.

Now, you listen, Dad.

You know, I'm pretty stubborn when I pushed.

So is your old man.

Isn't there anything we can do to convince you?

I've just come to the realization it's high time

somebody in this family got a college education.

Dad!

I'll see you next Christmas.

Bye.

Having a little trouble, sir?

No, nothing I can't handle.

Say, where do you go to register?

To register?

Yeah.

No, you're not supposed to register, sir.

All right, your kids have to do that.

They register for me?

What?

I want to register.

Now, you don't seem to understand.

You see, they're only registering freshmen.

Yeah, I know.

I'm a freshman.

General Robert E. Lee, sir.

Well, I'm mighty pleased to know you, General.

Could I borrow your white horse and ride over to the registration?

Yeah.

Thank you, sir.

Just tie 'm up outside the gym.

Yes, I'll see you at Appomattox.

Yeah.

Next student. Name? - Nixon.

Age? - 17.

Parent of Guardian. - Mr. Robert Nixon.

Taylor dormitory, room 12.

Next student. - Harvey Howard.

Age? - 51.

There must be some mistake.

Well, if there is, you just made it.

And this is where incoming freshman register.

Okay. Let's get on with it. - You can't be a freshman!

Find out. I'm a high school graduate. Class of '29

1929?

Is there some statute of limitations on education yet?

Certainly not. No, of course not.

You made excellent grades on your entrance examination.

It wasn't easy.

Why did you wait so long to come to college?

Oh, it was a matter of money. For a while, not enough. And then later, too much.

I had a business to run, kids to raise. I guess the years just got away from me.

They've got you down for a freshman dormitory, but we can fix that.

Oh no we can't. If all I wanted was a diploma,

I had contacted to the correspondent's school. I want the full treatment? The works.

Davis dormitory, room 11. - Have a cigar.

Hi. Hey, man. How long do I have to hold this thing out here?

Patience child Patience. The harmonious and formative our mutual

freshman experiences made a pen on the proper juxtaposition

of a stereophonic speaker that you and our new friend here

grasp so negligently in your innovative digital extremity.

You sure talk pretty for a Freshmen. - Bannerman Bob, N-M-I.

N-M-I? - No Middle Initial. He's a Navy brat. Son of an Admiral.

Gil Sparrow, South Turkey Creek. It's a town. - South-Turkey what?

Well, it's really just a crossroads. - Welcome country boy.

Well, are you and him kin? Or is that's some kind of uniform?

Merely social siblings at the moment we're a set. Gil meet Joy Elder.

Hi. Hi, how are you?

That's TJ.

-TJ Padmanagham. New Delhi. That's a city.

Pad-ma-nag-ham.

What you spell is four A's? What's TJ stand for?

Don't concern yourself.

My first two names are each considerably longer and more difficult to

pronounce than Padmanagham. - Oh, well ain't he a bird.

Oh, am I a bird too?

You are a shameless husband hunting by-product of six of the most

expensive finishing schools in the western hemisphere.

Right!

Well, I don't think husband hunting's a bad reason for a girl

to come to college. - Yeah, neither do I.

Hey, who belongs to these? - Don't know, they were here when we arrived.

Alligator. Very expensive.

I'd love a shot at a swamp gator that pretty.

It would appear that our missing member is the money type.

I wonder if his clothes are as expensive looking as his luggage.

Stand back, men.

Cashmere. Beautiful material. Kind of a square style, don't you think?

Square style.

Come on in.

Never looked that good on me!

Oh, hand me down? - How's that?

She means did you bestow yon seemly doublet on your male heir.

He means d'ya give the jacket to your son.

Oh, you're the interpreter for the group. - Gil Sparrow.

The Gil Sparrow from South Turkey Creek.

No? really?

And that's TJ Padmanagham.

- Mr. Padmanagham? With four A's, I suppose?

Yes, that's right. - Bob Bannerman, N-M-I.

Harv Howard. Also, no middle initial.

Oh, I'm Joy Elder, Mr. Howard.

Harv. - Mr. Harv

About that jacket, how did your son throw it out?

Oh, he doesn't. Junior's pure gray flannel.

Oh, he sounds conservative.

D-U-L.

Oh, I bet he'll brighten up the room.

Now, there's a bet you'd lose.

I'm sure Mr. Howard's son will make a most congenial roommate.

You're wrong again. Junior's on his way to Philadelphia. Home.

Oh slowing down already?

No.

Matter of fact, he'd come down here if you try to talk me out of it.

In a word, I'm your roommate.

You room here with them?

I'm a freshman, too.

How come?

Cha cha cha.

Can I come in?

Surely.

Harvey Howard, I presume.

Guilty.

Owner 1434 Harvey Howard's smoke house restaurants from coast to coast.

No, it's 1433.

The one in Biloxie just folded. Junior was running it.

Hope the one in Charlotte's still doing fine - 6533 dollars, last week.

Now, that's a lot of hamburgers.

Well, I'm Randy Pruitt from the old orange and black.

Covers the campus, life magnolia's

It do...

It's a university student newspaper.

I thought a subscription went along with your tuition.

Oh, it does, but eh.. Well I'm here after a story.

Mr. Howard you're news.

Oh, not if I can help it.

As your faculty adviser, feel free to call on me at any time.

Thank you, sir.

Mr. Thayer!

Will you put her down, please.

Mr. Thayer is my chemistry teacher.

And their adviser.. The male members that is.

What are you two young ladies doing up here in a men's dormitory?

She a roving reporter... - I came up here to interview Mr. Howard.

All right, I'll accept that

What about you? - Ah, she's with me.

Well, they're a set, like

I just came up to help the boys unpack a little bit.

Dear, dear, dear, this is going to be another one of those years.

Got the punies, little fella?

Would you please get me a drink of water, son?

When I learned that this year's brood of ducklings included

a 50-year-old gander, I anticipated something like this.

Something like what?

Women in the rooms!

Dancing?

Erotic music?

Drinking?

Oh, that's water.

Did I say it wasn't.

Punies.

Oh, they're just letting off a little steam.

You know, youthful exuberance.

First day of school, no less.

Don't say it.

Now, a certain amount of youthful exuberance is to be expected from these youngsters.

After all, the transition from know-it-all everything, high school, senior,

to know-nothing college freshman is at best a difficult adjustment.

But Howard, after all man, you've had 30 years to adjust.

I dropped those 30 years when I enrolled here today.

I'm just another incoming freshman, and I hope you'll treat me as such.

Oh, that's very commendable.

Well, now, if any of you have any problems, and you will,

just feel free to bring them to me.

That is what I'm here for.

Now, if you young ladies will kindly adjourn to your separate dormitories...

Well, I have to get a story from Mr. Howard first.

Oh, Mr. Howard is just another freshman.

He is not news.

Okay.

Well, thanks, anyway.

Later.

And greater.

Right.

Oh, well, all of you men have busy days ahead of you,

beginning with the Dean's indoctrination lecture at 3 o'clock.

You won't want to miss that.

I'm right sorry about that.

He's a nice fella, isn't he?

Rugged.

Heave ho, my hearties.

Here we are. - Okay