Me Time

This is way too high. This is crazy.

All right, party people,

let's get ready to do this!

Huck, I'm not gonna do it, man. I think I'm gonna skip this jump.

We gotta do this together.

It's my birthday, man. It's the big two-nine.

Me and you have spent every birthday together

since you were five.

It's always something crazy.

I just feel like this is too much. It's too much for me.

-This one's too much? -Yeah. For me. You do it.

I get it. You're getting married. You gotta be more responsible.

Yeah, we'll celebrate back at the resort.

Yeah.

I'll get us some champagne, a little cheese board.

-Yeah. Yeah! -Right?

-I'll see you later. -Okay.

All right, guys, go get 'em. I'm not gonna do it.

Hey!

Hey, I'm not gonna ju--

Oh my God!

Sonny, I'm coming.

- - Remember your training, Sonny!

I don't remember shit! I'm scared, man!

Open your arms, like a starfish.

Starfish can't fly! Huck, starfish are stupid!

Sonny, spread your wings.

Aw!

Hey! I'm doing it!

This is amazing, Huck.

I told you you could do it.

You know, you were right, man. You're always right.

I'm gonna be by your side for every birthday until the end of time.

Give me your hand, buddy.

You're my best friend.

I love you, Huck. I lo--

Oh my gosh. They've got sharp teeth! They've got sharp teeth, Huck.

I think he tried to get to my neck!

- I'm gonna pull your rip cord! -

- Sonny, that was incredible. - Incredible, my ass.

I'm never letting you talk me into this stupid shit again.

It's so good.

Like, really good. It's gonna get so many likes.

How do I keep topping myself? Every day, I just get better.

Look at this. Ava, look.

Cool, Daddy.

When you get to school, show your friends.

Can I have some more goji berries in my smoothie?

Absolutely, buddy.

Antioxidants, whatever you need. I got-- Shit!

-Ah! -

Damn it! Hokey Pokey went to the bathroom in the kitchen again.

Guys, at this point, I'm getting a little frustrated

'cause I know you see it. Come on!

- -Honey, I'm sorry. Give me a kiss.

I gotta run. They're having an inspection at Armando's this morning.

But… don't forget tonight, okay? He's getting that big award.

-You don't need me to be there, right? -Yes.

Well, he's your client. He's not gonna care if I'm not there.

I know, but baby, I'll care.

-Okay. All right. -Okay? Okay, good.

-Okay. -Love it. Where is my iPad?

-Ah, bedside, under your book. Okay? Yeah. -Okay, thank you, thank you.

Hey, Dash, we talking about the talent show.

Talk to me. Did you practice your keyboard this morning?

I was about to, but I got sucked into watching Eddie Murphy's Raw .

It was so funny how when the kids would tease him, saying…

…"We got McDonald's."

- -Hey, Dash, enough with the comedy, Dash.

Son, this talent show's a big deal. Remember, I'm the director this year.

The whole school is gonna be judging us. I need you focused, buddy.

-Here, take a little bit of it. -What-- That… that's okay.

Come on, man. I'm serious. I really need you on this, Dash.

You can't just let this float around like it's nothing, man. It's--

No, I'm not doing this. It's always a whole thing with Huck.

- Hey! - Uncle Huck.

Hey, Ava, Dash! God, I can't believe how big you guys got.

It's so good to see you. Is your dad around?

- Yes, he is. - He's right here.

- Sonny, baby! Here I am. What's up, Huck?

- What's going on? -Where are you, man?

-Dude, I'm in Tijuana. Tijuana?

We were driving down to Redondo. We missed the exit.

We were gonna go play mini golf.

We just kept going all the way down to Mexico.

You gotta do that, right?

Huck, man, I would love to talk, but I can't, dude.

Gotta get the kids ready. About to get out the door.

Got a big day of volunteering at the school.

You remember when we went down to Mexico for my big two-three,

looking for the donkey show?

Yeah, I'm with the kids, Huck.

-Dad, what's a donkey show? -Nothing.

-We found a donkey on the road. -Yeah.

Hand to God, biggest P-E-N-I-S I have ever seen.

-Okay. -What did he spell?

-He spelled "penis." -Hey, boy, what are you doing?

It's not a swear word.

Dash is right. It's not a swear word. It's a body part.

I know exactly what it is, Huck. I got one.

-Do I have one? - No, you don't.

In life, if you chose at some point you wanted one, you could get it.

-It's complicated. - Real quick, dude.

My birthday's coming up. It's the big four-four.

I wouldn't ask if it wasn't an important birthday.

You haven't been to my parties in forever. Any chance you could make it?

Yeah-- -I think that's a great idea.

He needs some time to his self. Hi, Huck.

Hey, what's up, girl? Oh my God. You look amazing.

- We miss you. I miss you guys so much.

Huck, listen, I really wish I could. I don't know what Maya's talking about.

We're gonna be at her parents' for spring break. I can't make it.

Oh, gosh, that's so disappointing. I mean, I completely understand. Family first.

-It's too bad. -Yeah.

All right. Bye, Huck!

- Bye, Maya. All right, bye. Love you. Okay.

Um, Huck, dude, listen, I gotta jump, man.

So good talking to you. So, so good talking to you.

We'll catch up soon, okay? Hey, say goodbye, hang up.

All right, look, I'm gonna send you the deets

just in case, if you can make it, and a pic of the donkey's D-I-C-K.

-Pic of what? - It's unreal.

Don't send no pic of that donkey's dick--

-Shit! Goddamn! -

-Same piece of poop got me again. -

Ava, honey, this is getting crazy. You gotta start carrying your own bag.

I don't want to.

All right, noted, but that doesn't mean you don't have to.

Sometimes it'd be nice to help your father, okay?

Oh, Dad, Asher Geller's dad

got a minivan with automatic doors. Whoo, it's sick.

Son, listen to me,

opening up the door with your hands builds character.

Lesson of the day. Let's go. In.

All right, guys, who's ready to go to school, huh?

-I am! -Yeah.

Son, match Ava's energy.

-I am! -I am!

Hey, hey, hey!

Sixty seconds or less. Let's go.

Morning, Crossing Guard Lenore.

Good morning, Mr. PTA President.

Let's go, guys. Time to go to school.

Gotta get it off the track.

-I love you. I love you too. -Love you, Dad.

-Bye, Daddy. -Bye!

It's our job to give our kids options.

Taste the hemp. Hemp. Not every kid even knows that hemp is available,

and that's not fair to them.

"It was just the right putter--"

So we're not listening? Are we not gonna listen today?

Sonny, I've got this. Have a seat. Thank you.

-All right. Hey. -

Okay. That's it. That's it.

It's okay, nothing wrong with that.

Pass.

Gotta be shitting me, Alan!

Hey! What the hell was that, Alan?

Oh, Sonny, some of us gotta get back to the office, my friend. Hey, guys.

Well, you know what? Some of us gotta get citations.

-Hmm? -Oh, no!

-Yeah. Yeah. -A citation?

So just wait here. Crossing Guard Lenore, did you see that?

Dad! That's the, uh, car with the, uh, automatic doors.

I get it. C'mon, let's go. Get in the car, guys.

I mean, I would, but the door's, like… it's too heavy.

Oh, so you got jokes, now? What'd I tell you?

All you gotta do is lift the door. You lift it and pull it back.

It's too easy. Let's go.

All right, Skyler, do me a favor, make sure the polenta doesn't stay

in the Instant Pot too long 'cause if it does, it'll get real gummy.

-Yeah. -Uh, oh. Yeah.

All right, and after dinner, Dash has to do 20 minutes on the piano.

-Okay? Yes. -Dad, you're killing me.

I'm already underwater with reading comp.

Ten thousand hours, buddy. You know that.

It's not about being good. It's about being great.

It's a little life lesson. It's called double G.

-Thank you so much, Skyler. -Have fun, Mr. F.

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