When Will You Get Married? (Kapan Kawin?)

Is something wrong, sir?

-The bananas! -The bananas.

Yes, they're complimentary.

Get rid of it!

Wait a moment, sir.

Please wait.

It's done, sir.

What's wrong now, sir?

The glass!

-The glass? -Yes.

It's too clean.

It's Friday. The glass should've been touched.

Like this, sir?

Yes. The bottles, too.

Okay.

Thank you.

Yes, what is it this time, sir?

The bed is not supposed to point south. I'll be damned. It needs to point east.

East. So, where should we move the bed, sir?

Little bit to the left.

Okay, left.

Yes. Stop. It's good.

Great. I can take a rest now.

-Can I help you with anything else? -That will be all.

Your husband is a lucky man.

Thank you, sir.

Husband? Do I really look that old?

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Someone changed the seating arrangements in the hall.

-Changed? How? -Take a look for yourself.

This is not right. It isn't a seminar.

The function starts in less than half an hour,

have all the staff here right now!

That's not possible.

Why?

-Because everyone is occupied. -What?

Happy birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you.

MY MOM

MY MOM

Hello. Didi?

Good morning, Mom.

Sorry I didn't pick up earlier, I was in the toilet.

It's been a month since you last contacted us in Jogja.

What's wrong? Are you sick?

No, I'm fine, Mom. It's just that I'm so busy with work.

How are you and Dad doing? Are you well?

We're all right. By the way, do you know what today is?

It's Friday?

Hey! We also have a calendar here in Jogja, you know.

Today is your birthday.

You're 33 now!

Yes, Mom.

Your dad said...

"If you were a warship,

the emergency sirens would have started ringing."

You know what I mean?

This is about me still being single, isn't it?

Absolutely. Come on, honey!

When are you getting married?

Waiting for your ship to be torpedoed by the Japanese?

WHEN WILL YOU GET MARRIED?

What is it?

Your mom again?

It's getting out of hand,

she said I needed to be cleansed of evil spirits, to the point of

-name change to easily find a suitor. -Well, then you're in luck. My friend--

-His name is Aldy, he's just-- -Eva!

The last guy you suited me, still owes me

for using my credit card to gamble online.

That's not his fault.

No one could've predicted Man Utd would play so badly last season.

This time it's different. Aldy is a high-quality single guy.

High-quality single one? Don't you think that if he's high-quality,

he wouldn't be single in the first place?

Except me, of course.

Whatever.

Bye.

Your sister, Nana, was pregnant at 24,

right on schedule of normal woman.

What is it with you?

If she just wanted, she could have been a professional model,

but she chooses to concentrate on being a housewife.

Mom, sorry. But I am wanted in a meeting. I will call you later, okay?

Wait just a second, there is something we need to discuss.

What is it?

Our wedding anniversary is coming up next month.

I want you to make the arrangements, my dear.

Are you sure?

Yes, your dad agrees. So, what do you think?

I would love to!

I'm going to throw the best anniversary party ever for you.

But...

Yes, Mom?

You have to bring a date.

I can't make any promises, Mom.

Mom?

Am I asking for too much, my child?

That's not the issue, Mom.

-About bringing a date... -Honey...

Your Dad and I are old.

This may well be our last wedding anniversary.

There's no telling when the Almighty might take us.

But you don't seem to want to make your parents happy.

Mom, It's not that I don't want to. It's just...

Mashallah.

Dear God, please do not call me just yet,

until our daughter introduces her future husband to us. Please, God.

Okay, Mom. I will see what I can do.

You have to promise me.

Okay, Mom. I promise.

Thanks, my dear. Hope to hear from you soon.

Yes, Mom.

If this doesn't work, we are going to a witch doctor.

No problem. Great acting!

Ma'am, where did you learn to be such a drama queen?

Excellent performance!

None of your business!

Why don't you teach me how to act, so I can get a wife?

Di, wait.

Are you serious?

Do you really want to hire an actor to be your date to face your parents?

Are you sure?

Yes.

I'm sure, Eva.

Okay.

From your description, I think my friend would be perfect for the job.

Eva.

You call this acting?

Don't worry. His acting is top-notch. Although he's a little bit eccentric.

Do you see it? His gestures depict how our modern society

is pretentious and fake.

How do you know?

I was in the drama club in the past, now I've changed.

What's wrong? Here?

This one?

Be patient, Din.

This is perfectly normal.

When an actor is committed to a role,

it takes time for him

to get out of character.

Hey, be polite!

Um... Satrio.

Are you sure you don't want to return to the normal world?

What?

What did you say? Normal?

You're talking to me about being normal? Look,

I am offended.

I don't like it.

I'm serious, here.

Don't you talk to me about being normal.

What exactly is normal to you?

Wearing clothes that cost more than the cost of feeding abandoned children?

I thought you worked in tourism.

I'm sure you understand about hospitality and good manners.

I thought you were an educated person. You're not making sense.

Choose your words wisely. Otherwise, this nation will not progress.

Do not offend people.

Are you a hedonist or what?

Okay.

So, back to my problem, can you help me?

Okay, I'll help you.

Let's cut to the chase. I don't mean to be weird,

but let's talk about my fee. Okay?

How much will I get paid?

The fee? Okay.

Ten million rupiah.

At that price, you should hire yourself a soap opera actor.

I am not just your average actor.

There are plenty of those if you want. I can even help you contact the agencies.

So you think you're better than a soap opera actor?

The art of acting is...

The art of acting is...

-Move over, Eva. -Okay, wait.

Soap operas don't require much skill.

It's below-average and crap acting.

I don't mean to brag, but I am way better than that.

Way, way better than that. So much better.

Because for me, acting is the search for honesty.

It requires intelligence, feeling and wit.

It's a complicated thing.

Don't underrate it.

Stanislavsky said--

I'll add another five million rupiah.

Okay, deal!

-Okay! -Okay.

But...

I need proof that you can actually act.

Not a problem.

Move back.

Satrio.

How would you...

Satrio.

How would you convince my parents

that you are a responsible, nice and...

decent man?

The first two, okay. The third one, I don't get.

Okay.