Air

And tonight we embark on the last and most ambitious...

phase of our campaign to end tyranny across the globe.

Mr. President, given the severity of the current crisis...

what is the risk to the American population?

Our level of preparedness couldn't be higher.

I am confident that we will prevail, whatever may come.

But, Mr. President...

Rest assured, my administration is taking steps...

to ensure our way of life will continue.

Mr. President, is that last statement connected to the rumours...

of these so-called "Noah's Ark" facilities?

We're hearing reports of scientists, engineers, doctors...

being whisked away in the night.

Is the government hiding these people in underground shelters?

We have a number of contingency plans...

in place, mainly to provide peace of mind.

But let me be very clear.

Our priority is the safety of all the American people.

Sir, are we facing an impending catastrophe?

Is the government deciding who lives and who dies?

Plenty of words from this president but very few details.

And as more time passes with no clear answers...

the situation becomes more dire.

This is Natalie reporting, Channel Nine News.

You having a nightmare, buddy?

Just let me out. Let me out.

Please.

Goddamn it, Bauer!

Gotta loosen the arm.

- Please quit playing around. Let me up. - Can't do that.

Gradual transition to a normal air mixture prevents what?

Oxygen toxicity.

Which can harm which organs?

Eyes, brain and...

and lungs!

You'd think that somebody that just slept six months...

would be in a better mood.

Why does my tank's cycle take twice as long as yours?

Well, give it enough time, everything in this dump's gonna break.

- Did you clock in? - No.

Oh, come on.

I just don't want the other facilities to think that we're....

What, dead? Come on. You can say it. It's not gonna kill you.

How's the weather up there?

- Nice day for a picnic? - Outside air toxicity's still in the red.

Just like last cycle and the cycle before that.

I don't know why you check anymore.

All the other facilities have checked in.

- Everyone's okay. - Thank my lucky stars.

- Oh, not this again, buddy. - No, just a minute. I have an idea.

How many times are you gonna do this?

This piece of crap network wasn't set up...

For direct communication. Yeah, I get it.

Yeah, I wish I had the Internet.

Maybe they'll be better prepared for the next Apocalypse.

Better use the bathroom first, buddy, if you know what I mean.

Hey, this is not funny.

You don't think it's true?

- What isn't true? - They're all dead.

You don't need to remind me.

Today's shopping list.

Look at this.

Man, I've seen that a million times. I got it memorised.

No, no, no, it says there was some kind of seismic activity.

- What? - Yeah, an earthquake.

I know what seismic means. What does it say?

Oh, this is not good.

Look, if there's any sort of leak down here at all, this place...

would be full of poison air from outside. We'd be dead. What else?

Electrical systems, core structural inspection.

Core structural inspection?

That's a joke. This is an abandoned missile silo.

- What about the tanks? - Individual unit diagnostics.

- No way. - Unbelievable.

You know what? I'll do everything else if you do that.

Those sleepers, yuck, you know they creep me out.

- No. - Come on.

It's your turn this time.

On three?

One, two, three.

Clock's ticking. Chop, chop.

Doesn't he drive you nuts?

I've gotten used to him.

I've been dreaming of you.

How's the diagnostics, buddy?

Filter checks are good on all nine levels.

No damage at all from that seismic activity.

- What about the tanks? - Still working on them.

Did you tell him about us?

I'm waiting for the right time.

You made a promise.

I'll tell him.

Tell me what?

- Who are you talking to? - Nobody.

- I hate when you do that. - Yeah.

I hate when you talk to the sleepers. I find it creepy.

They're just people.

Yeah, you standing over them, staring at them.

What does that make you? Sort of a weird pervert?

Look who's talking. The chronic masturbator.

Well, at least I ain't diddling some dead girl.

She's not dead. She's waiting, like we are.

Hey, don't you compare her to me. I work for a living.

What do they do?

Come on, you know they're important.

Important, huh?

What, this guy right here? "Herpetology."

- What's that? Some herpes specialist? - Reptiles and amphibians.

- You're a genius. - These people are seeds, Bauer.

The last in the world.

Knowledge and experience that's unique...

Unique and irreplaceable. Blah, blah, blah....

You sound like a broken record, man.

- They're the future. Have some respect. - Come on, buddy.

Don't give me that crap.

We waste our whole lives down here, in this hole...

so they can survive?

I understand how you feel. Doesn't it mean anything to you?

- Working down here? Saving... - Saving the future of humanity?

Come on. Wake up, push a button, change a light bulb, go back to sleep.

Rinse and repeat, buddy.

- Doesn't it bug you just a little bit? - No.

You know we got the short end of the stick down here, right?

What are you going to do about it? Complain to management?

Yeah, I might.

I think I'll write a letter.

You do that.

A gorgeous afternoon for baseball. The sun is shining.

And we do wanna remind everybody who's out here enjoying the game...

that these teams are donating all the proceeds of tonight's ticket sales...

to the relief effort after last week's bombing in Europe.

So we thank everybody for their support at this terrible time.

"Probabilistic calculation of Air Pollutant Dispersion." Bingo.

What's that? Little light reading for the crapper?

"This equation can be used to calculate time remaining...

until viable surface re-habitation."

- Ball two. - Listen to this.

- Pitcher's a little bit shaky. - Listen, listen.

"Parameters are, cross wind dispersion...

concentration of pollutant, horizontal deviation," right?

- Right? Listen to this. - You can almost see the homerun...

in this guy's eyes right here.

"Optimal scenario for re-habitation is 30 years.

But this figure may deviate upwards of 150 years."

Did you hear that?

You've watched the game 100 times.

Here it comes, here it comes.

And there it goes!

I'm saying we might not be stuck down here for much longer.

Yeah, just another hundred years, right? Blink of an eye.

Says here it could be as little as 20 more shifts.

Buddy, that's for a weather forecast...

which is 50 percent right 10 percent of the time.

But you just keep on reading, all right?

We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to bring you this....

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Heard it all before.

We've just received confirmation of a series of explosions around the world.

Buddy, it's your move.

Major cities such as Munich, Tokyo, London and Brisbane were targeted.

What's it gonna be, Mr. Kasparov?

Reports are coming from reliable sources from inside the government.

May not be official, but....

Now this isn't official, but we're hearing that these attacks could be...

similar to the hybrid nuclear and chemical weapon that devastated...

Tel Aviv earlier this year.

The president has now raised military readiness to DEFCON One...

which is the highest threat level this country has ever been in.

There you go.

You got six more months to regret that move.

- Wait. I thought we had more time. - Nope. Like sand through the hourglass.

- You check these diagnostics? - Yeah, yeah.

Just about to make our sleep cocktails.

Good. I got a date with Miss 1979.

Back to sleep?

That's the routine.

We'll be together soon.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

I tell myself that every time.

My brain knows it.

But my body tells me that I'm about to climb into a high-tech coffin.

- Have you forgotten already? - Please, Abby, I've got work to do.

Think of how good it would feel to touch me.

Oh, no, no, no...!

- Bauer! Bauer! Open the door! - What the fuck?

I need the fire extinguisher, please!

- Not a good time, buddy! - Open the door! Come on!

I need the fire extinguisher! There's a fire!

You didn't have to rip it apart.

- Yeah, well, I thought it would help. - That's not right.

Hey, you were responsible for checking the diagnostics!

Hey, you hurt?

- Let me see it. - No.

Oh, come on. Stop being a baby.

- How'd you get that? - From your stupid tank.

How am I supposed to take care of myself now?

- Use the other hand. - What if I need two hands?

Shit, we're out of air.

I don't know what we're breathing. There's not much left of it.

- Come on, what does that thing say? - One second, one second.

Bingo. "Emergency release via Safety Reserve Cylinders."