Fast and Loose

Hello?

What do you mean, they're still busy?

Oh, they can't be busy all night.

Now... now listen, operator, be a sport, try again, will you?

This is my girl, I wanna talk to her.

Sure.

That's fine. Call me back as soon as you get her.

Okay.

Oh, no, no, please, the next dance!

Oh, the happy bride-to-be!

- Oh, shut up. - Tell me, Sis.

How's Lord Fauntleroy, the big stiff?

How can you bear to be separated even for a moment

from that beanpole?

Now, let me alone, can't you see I'm not fooling?

I... oh, I don't know what's the matter with me.

Oh, gee, Sis, I'm sorry.

Here, I'll fix you a drink, it'll cheer you up.

No?

All right, here's how.

A short life and a merry one.

From where I'm sitting, it looks like a long and dreary one.

Listen, Sis.

That's because you're not in love.

Maybe you're right.

I don't suppose I ever will be.

Got to get married sometime.

I used to think that maybe the right man would come along someday.

Well, I'll keep on waiting and looking.

Even after you're married to that fellow?

Well, why not?

He's only marrying me for the money anyway.

And I'm only marrying him because... well, because...

Mother and Uncle George want a title in the family.

Well, here's to Uncle George.

May he slip on a banana peel and break his neck.

Uncle George could never slip on anything as unrefined as that.

Oh, there's Alice.

Hello, darling.

You're darned tootin' I still want Long Beach.

I've been wanting 'em for hours.

Well, I know they're there.

Yes, ring 'em again, will you, operator?

Call me back.

What service.

27, 28, 29... phew!

Well, hot or cold, all men are alike.

Oh, Millie, I think you're being mean and rotten.

It isn't Bertie's fault he takes a drink now and then.

All his crowd does.

He was brought up that way.

He has more money than is good for him

and he's never had anyone to answer to.

Why, you can't expect him to change in a minute.

He's a Grade A number one souse.

Would you pardon me, dearie? I've got ten of these to do.

If Bertie ever took a drink of water, it'd poison him.

I won't have you talking about him that way, Millie.

He's going to pull himself up, and when he does,

- I'll marry him. - Whoopie!

And a load of horsefeathers... oh!

Listen. When that bird marries you, I'll take the veil.

You know, it's all right for a chorus girl to be a sap.

In our business, you don't need brains, only legs.

But there are times, Alice, when you're that dumb

I could give you a good sock in the nose.

- Millie. - Now, listen, baby brain.

When a guy like Bertie Lenox trails a girl like you,

he's strictly on the make, see?

- Millie, I don't want you to talk like that. - All right, all right.

But the only orange blossoms you'll ever see will come out of a cocktail shaker.

Millie, I can't stand it, it isn't fair.

Why don't you let me alone?

Oh, Alice, I'm sorry, but you know...

Hello?

Oh, just a minute.

Here you are, baby, it's your boyfriend.

Hello? Hello, Bertie?

No. It's nothing.

Millie's been teasing me again.

Well, cheer up.

Yeah, I'm coming over and I'll bring a couple of bottles.

We can toast to Marion over there.

Sure, we'll make whoopee.

'Course I'm not tight!

No! I've only had a few drinks to congratulate my sister.

You can't let your sister get engaged without congratulating her, can you?

'Course not!

Well, Marion, Alice wants to congratulate you.

Just a minute, Alice, she's right here.

Hello, Alice.

I'm so happy for you.

Isn't it wonderful?

Tell me, are you... terribly, terribly in love?

Why, of course I am!

Well, I wouldn't be getting married if I weren't just terribly in love, would I?

Oh, thank you. Goodbye.

Am I terribly, terribly in love?

Oh yes.

You won't forget that little bit about the lion and the eagle, will you?

Jolly good if I do say so myself.

No, we won't forget that for a long time, Lord Rockingham.

- Thank you, thank you. - Good night.

- Good night. - Thank you very much.

Yes indeed.

Carrie, are you sure that Rockingham is the right man for Marion?

Why, Bronson!

Arthur is a member of one of the oldest...

and most conservative families of Europe.

Yes, and just think how old Europe is!

I'm surprised at your attitude, Bronson.

A girl as unmanageable as Marion might easily have married

some perfectly impossible person.

It's a thing that's been known to happen even to the best people.

I know all that.

But I'm still not sure that I want that man

to be the father of my grandchildren.

Bronson, don't be difficult.

Oh, there you are, old thing!

Oh dear. How the deuce am I to know to whom I'm engaged

if you pass this around among your friends?

You know, it would be devilish annoying if I have to kiss the wrong girl.

Depends on her taste, Rocky.

- It probably would be annoying. - Her taste?

Oh yes... lipstick, of course,

You know, you know, I didn't quite get you at first.

You haven't quite got me yet.

Never mind that. It won't be long until the wedding.

Rocky...

are you terribly, terribly much in love with me?

Why, what a strange question.

Yes. That seems to be the general opinion.

I'm going.

- I don't follow. - Good.

- Look here, what's the matter? - Rocky, please don't touch me.

Let me go, will you?

- Let me go, Rocky. - Blast it all, you can't treat me like this!

Who says she can't, you big stiff?

Bertie, please don't start anything.

I'm all mixed up.

Come on, I wanna go get some air.

Sure, kid.

But...

Wonderful party, Rockingham.

I say, Grafton.

What would you do if someone called you "a large stiff"?

A what?

A large stiff.

Why, I... I'd refuse to meet him socially.

Well, I can't refuse to meet my future brother-in-law.

You mean, Bertie called you a... a large stiff?

Yes. I suppose his associations are responsible for his manner.

His associations?

Well, of course, it's none of my business,

but as I'm practically a member of the family,

I think that you should know the worst.

Bertie is going to marry a chorus girl.

A chorus girl?

Oh, this is dreadful, I... but... are you absolutely sure?

Who is she? Do you know her?

Well, it so happens that I know her roommate... That is, very slightly.

It can't... it can't be true.

Well, there's not a shadow of a doubt in it.

They're constantly seen lunching, teaing, dining, and dancing together.

Every club in town is buzzing with it.

Where is Bertie?

He just left here with Marion.

Marion has left her own engagement party?

This is dreadful.

It will kill her mother, we mustn't tell her.

This is dreadful, we... we must do something.

Yes, but what?

We must think.

An excellent suggestion.

Rockingham, are you thinking?

- I think so. - Good.

Come in, Sis, Alice'll be glad to see you.

No, Bertie.

I want to be alone.

I don't know what's the matter with me.

Do you know, I've never felt like this before.

Oh, sure, I understand.

You drive on home, Sis, and I'll taxi it back.

Oh... oh, you'd better take this, it's turning cool.

Thanks.

- Good night. - Good night.

I wouldn't leave my car on that loose sand too long, ma'am.

You're apt to get stuck.

I can take care of my own car, thank you.

Yes, ma'am. You sure can.

Yes, ma'am.

I can see from the way you handle that stick that an automobile has no secrets for you.

Sure gives me pleasure to see you so expert.

It's a wonderful thing, the way gals are improving their learning these days.

Used to be when a gal got stuck, she'd ask the nearest man to help her.

Oh, you haven't got a cigarette about you, have you?

There's a package on the seat of the car.

Thank you. Thank you.

Sure do like to smoke after a swim.

Can't think of anything nicer than having just one.