Resident Alien

Previously on "Resident Alien"...

If you care even just a little bit about me,

you need to tell me what’s really going on.

It’s fine. No.

Maybe it’s best if we just leave it at this.

I’m not an alien.

The aliens are the ones who took me.

You remember.

You’re not supposed to remember.

You’re one of them.

What is this? Oh, that was a hoax

started by the mayor’s son.

I already questioned him. It was nothing.

Unless it means something to you.

Wow.

You went all out.

I can’t believe you made this.

Well, it is a special day.

He or she would have been two today.

Honey, listen.

Maybe it’s time we try again, hmm?

Honey...

I love you.

I just- I know.

It’s just too soon.

Okay.

But just...

say the word when you’re ready,

and I promise to bring my A game.

You always bring your A game. Mm.

Sometimes your B and C game.

You, uh...

Think it’s okay if we sing "Happy Birth"

What the hell happened?

They took me again.

I saw our baby.

It’s a boy.

It’s a boy!

Open up.

Honey, let me in!

Honey, what are you doing?

Oh, my gosh. Come-come inside.

W-what am I doing down here?

I...

You tell me.

I-you were just yelling

and-and knocking and asking me to let you in.

You-your hands are ice cold.

Huh.

Hey, come on. I’ll make you some tea.

Yeah, I think I was sleepwalking.

Since when do you sleepwalk?

Well, I...

did it a couple times as a kid.

Yeah, I’d sleepwalk and always have the same dream.

What was the dream?

Uh, well, I’m in bed with a broken leg,

and my whole family is standing over me.

You know, my mom, dad, aunts, uncles.

Yeah, it’s so weird.

I keep trying to ask for their help,

but nothing comes out of my mouth.

Hmm.

And they just...stand there

looking at me...

not doing anything.

Hmm.

Why are you having this nightmare now

after all these years?

Maybe it’s those new sheets you got.

Uh, no.

Those are Egyptian cotton.

They were, like, $200,

Great, now I’m gonna have nightmares

about how much you spent on sheets.

All right. Here we go.

Number 17 on the Joe’s Diner menu,

Rocky Mountain eggs over easy.

Maybe. Who knows?

You’ll have to see when you get inside the egg.

Everybody loves a mystery.

Doesn’t matter as long as someone else

is doing the cooking.

Good morning.

Mmm. Hello.

Welcome to D’arcy’s Diner.

I made you your favorite, blueberry pancakes.

Oh, that...

is your favorite.

Yeah, well, I’m your favorite,

so whatever is in my stomach is your favorite.

Hmm.

Thank you, but I will just have coffee today.

And, you know, you don’t have to cook breakfast

for us every day.

Speak for yourself.

Well, it’s the least I could do.

You know, you’ve been letting me stay here

the last few days, and...

getting over the pain pills was hard, you know?

But thanks to you, I feel like I’m over the hump.

Okay. Great.

Okay, so you’re gonna go back to work today.

Oh. Ugh.

I mean, you know, it’s a big hump.

Oh. You know, my recovery group

meets for three hours a day.

And then after that, it’s like, where’s the day gone?

You know? Love to. Can’t.

So... Hmm.

I think I’m gonna do some laundry

and then start on tonight’s lasagna.

Uh-huh. Hmm.

Hey, do you wanna go

to the record store later, maybe?

Get some new vinyl? New stuff?

Think about it.

She doesn’t seem very eager

to go back to her life, does she?

Well, I’m sure she will eventually.

I don’t know.

You know, going back to work,

at least she’s gonna face the world, right?

How fulfilling could it be cooking all day?

I don’t know.

I mean, why don’t you ask the roof over your head?

Oh, okay, I’m sorry.

I love this roof.

Okay? But so does she.

Like, a lot.

So maybe you could give her a nudge, you know?

I’m her best friend. It’s delicate.

But I’ll need to be there for her

when my mean old dad kicks her out.

Please?

Fine. Okay.

She’ll be gone by the time you get home.

Thank you. I’ll talk to her.

Right after she makes the lasagna.

You’re enjoying this way too much.

I discovered humans are bound together.

They are committed to each other through family,

work, a common cause.

I came to Earth because I was committed

to saving the planet.

Ah! Ahh-ahh!

And I will stop anybody

who gets in my way...

and take their cool things.

Harry? Are you in there?

You’re not answering your phone.

Did you call me to tell me to come in to work?

Yes.

That is why I did not answer it.

Well, if you would have answered it,

you would know that I ran into Liv,

and she said the alien tracker has left town.

Oh!

So you can come out of hiding.

And we have a backlog,

so I could really use you at the clinic.

Oh, I cannot come in to work today

’cause I’m sick...with a fever.

Oh?

Y-ow!

You don’t have a fever.

I mean the gout.

I’ve been eating organ meats...

on my pizza.

Your baby is sleeping.

What was that?

That was me.

I’m practicing ventriloquism.

Your baby is sleeping.

I’m very good at it.

Goodbye.

Your baby is turning.

The baby is turning.

Into what?

Harry.

What did you do?

Oh!

How did that get into my bunker?

I need to call an exterminator.

Oh, God. I am so sorry.

Harry can be a little serial killer-y.

What are you thinking? You’re kidnapping people now?

I had to. He tried to electrocute me

with his cooking stick for no reason.

You ripped an implant out of my neck.

I almost bled to death.

I did not rip.

I cut with the scalpel.

Oh! That did not heal well.

You should have put vitamin E on it.

That chip was my only connection with my son.

Now I may never find him again thanks to this monster.

This is why I wrapped a rag around his mouth.

Stop. W-what happened to your son?

Our baby was abducted out of my wife’s womb