Baywatch

-NO, REALLY. I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT--

-DON'T TELL ME, YOU MEANT TO DO THAT?

-ACTUALLY, THAT'S A SHOT I PICKED UP IN TANGIER.

NOT TOO MANY PEOPLE HAVE EVER SEEN THAT BEFORE IN THE STATES.

- AND WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN TANGIER?

-WELL, YOU KNOW, A LITTLE FAVOR FOR THE NAVY.

-SOMEHOW, I DON'T PICTURE YOU WORKING FOR THE NAVY.

NEITHER DID THEY.

SO, I THINK I LIKE THE NAVY PANTS THE BEST.

-YOU KNOW, THEY HAVE ALL THOSE BUTTONS.

ZIPPERS.

NO, I WAS SEAL.

I WAS IN THE WETSUITS MOST OF THE TIME.

HEY, LOOK AT THAT.

-YOU HERE ALL BY YOURSELF, SWEET THING?

YEAH. SORT OF.

HEY, FRIEND.

GUESS NOT. YOU GOT A PROBLEM?

NO.

BUT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU DO.

UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU CAN COME UP WITH A REAL GOOD REASON

WHY MY GIRLFRIEND'S EAR WAS JUST IN YOUR MOUTH.

OH, RED, WE WERE JUST--

BUTTON IT, MELINDA!

-I WAS JUST SHOWING HER WHAT IT'S LIKE TO KISS A MAN

WHOSE BREATH DOESN'T SMELL LIKE CAT FOOD.

OOH, I'D HAVE THAT LOOKED AT.

I THINK IT'S BROKEN.

NOT THE FACE, YOU!

HEY, LOOK AT THAT!

-SOMETHING OF A PANSY THERE, AREN'T YOU, RED?

GIVE ME THAT HAT. COME ON.

YOU GOOD?

HE HAS MY BIKE, TOO!

-WHOO! -

- 1097. GIVE US A CALL BACK

11 CASTLEROCK.

-WHOO-HOO! -

OH MAN. WANT TO HAVE A LITTLE FUN, HUH?

WE'VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT, JOHN.

I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN STAND ANY MORE FUN.

-WELL, YOU BETTER HANG ON, SWEETHEART.

BETTER HANG ON!

- WE HAVE A 460, A MOTORCYCLE ON THE BEACH.

-HEY WHAT DO YOU--? -THINK I'M DOING?

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

-OH, I'M JUST HAVING A LITTLE FUN.

HEY, MELINDA, SAY HI TO MITCH.

-HI, MITCH. -HE'S A LIFEGUARD.

I'M BACK.

WELL, TOOK OFF ON THIS GUY'S BIKE,

AND THEN WE SPENT THE NIGHT UP IN TOPANGA CANYON.

-TOOK OFF ON A GUY'S BIKE? -YOU STOLE HIS MOTORCYCLE.

NO. WE BORROWED IT, ALL RIGHT.

MELINDA'S GOING TO RETURN IT OR SELL IT.

I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH.

BRAWLS, WOMEN, MOTORCYCLES,

I MEAN, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO SLOW DOWN, DUDE?

YEAH, YOU SEEN MUCH OF SAM?

-NO. HIS JOB KEEPS HIM PRETTY BUSY.

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT.

IF I'D KNOWN HE WANTED TO BORROW THAT MONEY

TO START THAT DIVE SHOP,

I NEVER WOULD HAVE GIVEN IT TO HIM.

-WHY? HE'S DOING PRETTY GOOD. -YEAH. FOR A STRAIGHT JOB.

I THOUGHT HE WAS GOING TO USE THAT CASH

TO ROMANCE THIS SWEET YOUNG THING IN VEGAS.

WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?

-CORT. ALL RIGHT. -HOW YOU DOING?

-YOU KNOW, SAM TAKES HIS JOB PRETTY SERIOUSLY.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, HE'S STARTING TO MAKE A FEW BUCKS.

WELL, IS HE STILL A LIFEGUARD?

JUST ENOUGH TO KEEP CURRENT,

WHICH, I PRESUME, IS WHY YOU'RE HERE.

EXCUSE ME. BUCANNON.

IT'S FOR YOU.

YEAH, SORRY, MAN.

YO. HANG ON, HANG ON A SEC.

HEY, MITCH, YOU GOT A PEN?

NO, NO. TONIGHT'S FINE.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL CATCH YOU LATER, JACK.

I HAD TO GIVE PEOPLE YOUR PHONE NUMBER, YOU KNOW

I NOTICED.

-MITCH, WE NEED SOMEONE ON TOWER 5. WE'VE GOT A--

-CRAIG, HOW YOU DOING MAN? -HEY, CORT.

-GOOD TO SEE YOU. -WHEN DID YOU GET BACK?

THIS MORNING.

I WANTED TO HAVE MITCH THROW ME A TOWER FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS,

GET MY TEN DAYS IN SO I CAN STAY ON THE LIST.

-WHY DO YOU EVEN BOTHER? -BECAUSE I LOVE YOU GUYS.

WHERE'S SAMMY'S SHOP? I WANNA SAY HI TO THE BUM.

-THE BUM IS RIGHT NEXT TO THE VENICE STRAND CAFE.

CAN'T MISS IT.

CATCH YOU GUYS LATER.

SEE YOU.

SO, TOWER 5, CORT?

-THAT'S TERRIFIC. YOUR TIMING'S PERFECT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WON'T GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK?

THIS IS A TERRIBLE SANDWICH.

-HOW CAN THAT BE. LOOK, I'M ALL OUT OF HOAGIES.

PEOPLE AT THE BEACH, THEY CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF THEM.

-GO AHEAD. TRY IT. -I DON'T EAT MEAT.

-WELL I DO! I'M TELLING YOU, THIS MEAT IS ROTTEN

IS THAT SO. YOU ATE HALF OF IT.

COULDN'T YOU TELL ON THE FIRST BITE?

-HOW COULD I? THERE WAS NO MEAT IN THE FIRST BITE,

OR THE SECOND, OR THE THIRD.

-OH, YOU'RE A PIECE OF WORK, LADY.

FIRST THE MEAT IS BAD

AND THEN THERE'S NOT ENOUGH OF IT.

WHY DON'T YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND?

-SANDWICH? -NO.

I'VE GOT FRESH EGG SALAD.

-FORGET IT. I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH A CROOK.

CROOK? ME?

-HERE'S A BUCK. I FIGURE YOU ATE ABOUT THREE BUCKS' WORTH.

FINE. DON'T LET IT EVER BE SAID

THAT BUDDY T. SEMPLE IS NOT AN HONEST BUSINESS MAN.

WHAT A CREEP!

-WHY'D YOU BUY A SANDWICH FROM HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE?

BECAUSE I WAS HUNGRY.

BUDDY'S HAD AN MONOPOLY ON FOOD AT THE BEACH

EVER SINCE MR. STEIN'S WEENIE WAGON SHUT DOWN.

-FREE ENTERPRISE. YOU CAN'T BEAT IT.

SURE WE CAN.

WHY DON'T WE GIVE THAT LITTLE WEASEL

A HEALTHY DOSE OF COMPETITION?

AS IN SELLING SANDWICHES?

-WELL, HOW HARD CAN IT BE? WE'LL MAKE THEM AT NIGHT.

WE CAN TAKE TURNS SELLING THEM ON OUR DAYS OFF.

-I DON'T KNOW, SHAUNI. -COME ON!

THE GUY IS OVERCHARGING LIKE CRAZY FOR REALLY BAD FOOD.

THINK ABOUT IT. WE'LL BE DOING A PUBLIC SERVICE.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

HUFF!

OKAY...

THIS GUY MUST BE ONE DESPERATE HOMBRE.

-WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, HUH?

-WELL, I WAS DOING A LITTLE SPRING CLEANING.

I CAN'T GET MY GEAR STOWED UNTIL I CLEAN THIS JUNK OUT.

I HATE TO TELL YOU, BUB,

BUT YOU'RE CLEANING OUT THE WRONG LOCKER.

-NO, NO. ACTUALLY, THIS IS THE RIGHT ONE. THANKS, MAN.

NO, NO. THIS IS MY LOCKER.

-WELL, TRUST ME. IN ABOUT TEN DAYS

IT WILL BE YOURS AGAIN, ALL RIGHT?

IN THE MEANTIME, I THINK I SAW A SPARE HOOK

OVER THERE IN THE SHOWER ROOM.

-YOU DID? -YEAH.

-IS THAT RIGHT? -YEAH.

-YOU KNOW, THAT ONE'S FREE, BUT THE NEXT ONE WILL COST YOU.

I'M JOHN D. CORT.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

EDDIE KRAMER.

- PLEASE TO MEET YOU, EDDIE

YOU KNOW, THIS LOCKER WAS MINE WAY BACK

WHEN I USED TO PATROL THIS BEACH FULL-TIME.

WE HAD SOME GREAT MEMORIES FLY AROUND HERE THEN.

-SO, HOW COME I AIN'T SEEN YOU AROUND?

BECAUSE I HAVEN'T BEEN BACK IN A WHILE.

YOU PACKED ONE HELL OF A MEAN RIGHT HOOK