Workin' Moms

Take one, pass it on.

Say "Hi Auntie Kate". Hi.

What's this?

Hear ye, hear ye?

This is a little excessive.

Well, they only turn one, once.

And we are doing a whole princess theme.

It's gender neutral of course.

You have a registry?

Well, you guys know how it is.

We keep on getting the same gifts.

I mean, how many "Goodnight Moons"

can one child own?

Well, this way I can let you know

exactly what baby Mabel needs.

She's going to need years of therapy.

Well, I think it's really cute, Alicia.

Thank you, Jenny.

You know, I was sort of hoping this party

could help bridge the gap between all of us.

Beautiful.

I was actually a princess

for Halloween a couple years ago.

Of course you were.

Just because I like to fem it up,

doesn't mean that I'm not strong.

I don't know, in my line of work,

if you dress up girly,

you are asking to be treated differently.

So, what's wrong with that?

I like to be treated differently.

No you don't, it drives you crazy.

Kate, I feel like you're projecting.

I'm not.

Anne, back me up. I'm not projecting.

Hmm, you might be projecting.

But she's being super annoying.

No question.

Seriously? How has playing the card ever helped?

What card?

You know the card, we've all played the card.

Val's played the card.

Yeah, you know. The helpless girl card.

You ever played dumb to get a guy to do some work for you?

Or pretend that you don't know how to do your taxes?

Or, like fake an orgasm because you medically can't?

And you're sick of... Of explaining it.

So you know, not everyone can cum.

Okay, so we have covered a lot

of really important topics here, today.

I think I'm gonna go ahead and call it.

- Yeah, all right. - Great.

Okay. So Mom, this list covers all contacts

you'll need in an emergency situation with Charlie.

Really? Look.

There is his pediatrician, his dentist.

Emergency room, which is a good one, right?

And uh, fire department.

What circumstance would constitute

calling the fire department?

Well, obviously if he's on fire.

Of course. Kate, you act like

I never raised you and your sister.

You turned out fairly decently.

Mm-hmm.

So this bad boy covers anything

from your standard candle falling over,

to a full-on grease fire.

- Morning. - Good morning.

Thanks for watching Charlie.

It's what I live for.

Besides, I didn't like that Rebecca.

Her face was off.

Anyway Mom, here is Charlie's schedule.

I also have it printed on his bedroom door,

- just so you... - Yeah, and if you miss those,

there's about 20 more around the house.

Okay enough, both of you go. I've got this.

Thank you, Eleanor.

And you're okay watching Olly, right?

Who's Olly?

My dog, Mom, of 16 years?

Oh, of course.

Him.

He won't bite the baby, will he?

Of course not, they're brothers.

I just don't think dogs should be around children.

Okay, we should go.

Thank you again, Eleanor, for saving us.

- Thanks, Mom. - Bye, bye.

- Bye, Charlie. - Bye, buddy.

- Bye, Mom. - Yeah. Go.

Let's go. Come on.

Let's go.

What shall we do?

You think he hunts?

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

That new manager's got forearms like a couple of logs.

Yeah, I bet you could have sex with him,

without even touching the ground.

Yeah, pretty sure I scared him off.

How do you even access a guy like that?

From the looks of it,

dark lagers, woodsy cabin.

Hold up, here he comes.

Anyway, so I'm just gonna file these.

Uh, please do not file those, Gena.

I've been organizing them for weeks.

Relax, Gary. Hey, hey!

Hey, ladies. How's it goin'?

Not too bad.

Except for, I think I just downloaded a virus.

You what?

No, I was... I was kidding. It won't happen again.

Sorry, what won't happen again?

Did you, or did you not download a virus?

No, I didn't. It was a bad joke.

Um, why would you joke about that?

This is a tech company, Jenny.

I know. I was just messing around.

What the fuck?

Okay. Um... I gotta go.

But sorry, just to be really clear,

there's no virus that I need to worry about?

No. No virus.

Nothing here but a... A silly jokester.

That's funny.

Okay.

What the hell was that?

I don't know.

Have I been out of the game that long?

I thought I was being cute.

That read like a drunk stewardess.

That was mortifying.

Not that you're even available,

but why don't you just try being yourself?

What if I don't know what that is?

Well, maybe it's time you figure that out.

Or I don't know, you could just focus on your marriage,

and your new baby.

Jenny?

In future, protocol stipulates you shouldn't open emails

from people that you don't recognize.

Fuck off, Gary.

Yeah. Yeah.

So she said I sent it to her over the holidays.

I would never send her a picture of my penis.

I'm a talk show host, not a politician.

Of course not, James.

I mean, she'd be lucky to see my penis.

She wishes she saw my penis.

We all wish we saw your penis.

Well, we all have seen your penis.

Now, moving on, the good news is,

your face isn't in the pic, so it could be anyone's dick.

Kate, let me.

Well, it's obviously his dick. It's a fine dick.

It's an amazing dick.

But what I'm saying is that

this doesn't necessarily read as yours.

I mean, this woman has no proof.

I literally just said that. No proof that it's your dick.

Kate, if you don't mind,

I'd like to know what Mo has to say.

So what you're saying is,

if I tell people it's not me, people will buy that, no?

Yes.

Now, are there any other images of you two out there,

that could prove you're romantically linked?

No. I was very discreet.

Are you sure? Because you never know,

someone may have snapped a pic of you guys together somewhere.

Jesus, lady, I just said I was discreet.

What have you got, tampons in your ears?

Excuse me?

Relax. It's a joke.

You're going to be fine, James.

We'll put together a statement for you to review.

Good, thank you, Mo.

- Of course. - May I speak?

Now I want you to lay low until we make a statement.

Do you understand?

Yes. I'm not a child.

Could have fooled me, with the size of that dick.

We'll take care of it, James.

You just do your thing.

Ah, he's gone.

Good job.

I guarantee you, there are pics of that guy and that girl,

making out in some club, somewhere.

Okay, he isn't the easiest client, but he is the client.

And biting your tongue every once in a while,

empowers them to reveal more.

And... also part of this job is being likeable.

I'm sorry, I am likeable.

I'm super fuckin' likeable.

Yeah, you are. So bring it.

We'll get more work done that way.

Look at me giving advice to the competition.

How is that advice?