Unsupervised

-This is gonna be awesome! -I don't know, man.

This seems dangerous. *

Now way, dude, we * all the time.

Don't you wanna see * paint can explode?

Of course I do. More than anything.

I freaking love fire.

I'm scared too.

They're poppin' up over the place now.

I'm so excited for this fire.

I-I-It's gonna be explosions and fire and everything.

We gotta be careful, 'cause it's gonna be like a bomb going off.

Saw it on an Internet video.

-Yo, we gotta get on the Internet more. -I know.

I've been saying this for years, but we got no computers.

-I wanna get an Internet installed in my brain. -What?

So I wouldn't be stupid no more.

-Let's just light the friggin' fire. -All right, dude.

You light it and then run to safety with me and Russ.

-We're gonna be over there. -Why do I gotta light it?

Cause you're the fastest guy I know.

Dag, sometimes I wish I wasn't so fast.

Ah, well. Duty calls.

All right, good luck, man.

Dude, nothing's happening.

That was freakin' nuts.

- Freakin' fire's turned against us.

Dude, this is exactly what I was afraid of. What the frick do we do?

Run!

Yeah, we should do that too.

♪

Holla at your boy.

Damn, dude. ♪

Whoa, whoa. Y'all did what now?

We set a parking lot on fire and now we're on the friggin' run.

We just wanted to blow up a paint can like on the Internet Web site video.

First of all, y'all are coming up on me at dinnertime.

Now, I know y'all live like Lord of the Flies,

but normal people's houses, this is quiet time.

You don't just come up on someone at dinner. It's just not done.

-Are you gonna freakin' help us or what? -What y'all want me to do?

This ain't my shit. This is your shit.

I'm just sitting here eatin' supper.

- You're the one who told us to do it! - I just showed y'all a video.

I ain't tell y'all to start blowing shit up. Get your facts right, homey.

Man, we're freakin' screwed, Gary.

We should just run away and grow beards and disappear forever.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.

Just keep your mouths shut. That's what you gotta do.

Ain't nobody got to know nothin'.

What if someone asks us though?

If anybody asks you something, you don't know shit.

I don't like to lie, Darius. It's dishonest as freakin' hell.

-I'm not even friggin' good at it. -You don't lie to your parents?

-No. I don't have to. -Yeah, we don't got no rules.

My home's lawless. Shit.

My whole world is lies.

- Darius, who's at the door? - It's the mailman, Ma.

Why is he coming around here at dinner?

Sorry about that, Mom. He left his sunglasses in the mailbox.

Look what y'all did. Y'all got to go.

No, no. My mom likes the coupons.

She likes the coupons. Definitely. Yeah.

Just be cool. They ain't got shit on you.

I will. I'll let her know you said hi.

Mom, Mr. Postman say hi.

Man, he's a good liar. Yeah, he's the best.

-I don't know if I got it in me, man. -We might not even have to lie.

It was just an old parking lot. No one'll even care.

Yo, check it out, son. We're freakin' famous.

Holy shit. It's in the school paper?

"There were no witnesses,

but the abandoned buildings in the area are frequented by the homeless,

who are suspected in the crime."

They're blaming the homeless? Yo, that's messed up.

Well, it's better than us getting in trouble.

We can't tell anyone about this.

We're lying about it, and I don't like it, but we don't got no choice.

I won't freakin' tell anyone, I swear. I got secrets nobody can know.

They're bone-chilling.

You guys wanna hear one? Absolutely not, Russ.

Just keep it to yourself.

It's like he's looking right at me, Gary.

Why'd you do it, son?

You did a bad thing.

Just give me that. It's gonna make it worse.

- You guys reading about the fire?

No.

-We don't have any interest in it. -All right, that's weird.

It's a really big story, and the school paper is flying off the shelves.

We're crushing it, and helping to get those animals off the streets.

-Who, the homeless? -Yeah. They're super dangerous,

they smell like urine and they have AIDS.

They do? Not all of them, but most.

Are they sure the homeless did it?

How would I know? I just deliver the papers.

They say I'm not ready for my own story yet.

But they'll see. I'm gonna come up with something awesome,

and then they'll go ape shit and promote me.

Whew! I don't like this, man.

Lying's hard. Yeah, we'll get better, man.

It just takes practice.

Hello. This is freakin' Joel.

- I can't freakin' sleep. - Yeah, me neither.

I got a storm inside my mind.

I've been trying to think about wrestling moves to distract myself.

- But even that's not working. - It's guilt, dude.

It's tearing us apart.

Homeless people are taking the blame while we live like freakin' kings.

We're lying to ourselves, and we're lying to the firemen.

They're freakin' heroes, man! You start lying to your heroes,

next thing you know I'm lying to you.

- Where does it end? - If you ever lie to me, I'll punch you in the head.

Dude, you should be punching me if I lie to you.

You should punch me till my face caves in to bones and mush.

Let's just end this man, okay?

Let's just confess. The truth will set us free.

-It's not as cool as I thought it would be. -Yeah. It's pretty shty.

Oh! Get out of here, you homeless punks! Beat it!

No, man, we're not homeless. We're here to talk to our heroes.

Oh. Oh, okay. You know, sor-sorry about that, kids, you know.

We get a lot of homeless breaking in these days to steal scrap metal.

If they're not stealing metal, then they're starting fires.

It's a whole thing, you gotta understand.

Actually, that's what we wanna talk to you about.

Yo, Frankie, ribs are done, baby,

and they are smokin' hot.

Oh. Who's this? What is this? What's going on here?

Holy shit! You two are like a mirror image of each other.

- They're freakin' clones! - No, no, no. We're twins.

This is my brother Dino.

We're just having a little celebration...

for the parking lot fire we put out the other day.

So, you know, ribs and beers and such, you know.

Maybe some chocolate cake. I don't know.

What? You're celebrating the fire?

Goddamn right we're celebrating the fire.

It was the best goddamn thing that ever happened to us.

Ah, geez, here I go. Come on.

Well, I hope you boys brought your appetite...

'cause I, uh, cooked way too much food.

Frankie, are you sure these aren't street kids?

I mean, Jesus Christ.

These ribs are awesome. Mmm. Yeah. They're soft as mashed potatoes.

Well, that's the brine, kids. The brine is the most important part.

That's where you're getting the succulence from.

Dino is a whiz with the smoker.

He makes his own rubs. You believe this guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And sadly, the grill is about the only fire we get to put out these days.

What are you talking about?

Nobody gives a shit about us anymore.

We're like trashy-- Whoa. Frankie, come on.

These are kids here. Watch the language.

Ah, it's all right. We curse all the time. Uh, yeah.

Frig. Shit. Piss.

Asshole. Dongs. Son of a bitch.

All right, all right, all right. Come on, come on.

Frankie's just talking about the old days...

when we used to feel important.

Back when 9/11 happened.

We were on call 24/7. Anytime of day you call us, we would be there.

I wish I was older when 9/11 happened.

I would've frickin' cried for everyone.

I had abs up to my neck.

We couldn't go anywhere without getting saluted.

Oh! And the broads.

Holy crap. Is this you in the calendar?

Damn, you were jacked. You look like frickin' catalog models.

Ah, yeah, but things are different now.

We might not even be around much longer.

What? What do you mean? Ah. Cutbacks.

Yeah, with the recession and such, it's only a matter of time.

They can't get rid of you guys. You're our heroes.

Nobody thinks they need a fireman until it's too late.

Say what you want about that disgusting homeless piece of trash...

that started that fire,

but it was nice to feel n-needed.

All right. I gotta step back.

Okay, all right. Easy, Frankie. Easy.

My-My brother's very emotional.

Hey, what did you kids wanna talk to us about anyway, huh?

Uh--

Can we get your autograph?

I've never seen a hero down in the dumps like that.

They can't get rid of the firemen.

Who's gonna protect us from terrorists and arsonists...

and curious youngsters like ourselves?

Hey, big-time guy.

Yo, Martin, why are you so dressed up?

I just had an important job interview.

They cut my hours at the department store because of the economía.

So I'm taking a second job at the Internet Cafe. It's a very big deal.

Oh! I always want to go to that place. It's futuristic as all hell.

Yeah, we've been looking to get on the Internet more too.

The Internet is the future, boys.

The information super highway will connect us all.

Go, bag lady!

Leave us in peace! This is our trash!

This is our street! Yo, he's boiling over.

Yeah, Martin, you got frickin' steam coming out of your ears.

The homeless are very dangerous, boys.