Kangaroo Jack: G'Day, U.S.A.!

Sync and corrections by masaca

Run, Charlie, run!

We gotta get out of here.

Snake!

Spider!

Weird frilly thing!

We should have never come back to Australia. It's not worth it.

Sure it is Louis.

It's worth anything to bring Charlie and Louis' newest shampoo.

To the entire civilised world

Cut!

No, no, no! This is supposed to be an action piece.

I'm not feeling it, people.

It was me, wasn't it?

I knew it.

I came in late on the hiss.

The coil felt all wrong.

It's always gotta be about you, doesn't it?

Fellas, you're big, scaly guys! Help me out here.

I need a real attack.

Think "menace.

"Sheer terror.

Louis.

You were magnificent.

I laughed.

I cried.

I believed.

Excuse me, Jackie?

I mean, Mr. Legs.

How about me?

You were very good too, Charlie.

But what do you say, this time, we give all your lines to Louis.

Yo, Mr. Director.

Nobody said nothing about no stunt work.

I sprained four ankles when shampoo boy there knocked me off his shoulder.

Ugh.

While we're at it, I don't like the way you been talking to me.

Yeah.

Time someone taught you a lesson.

Come on, mates.

It's all in good fun.

You wanna see terror? How's this for terror?

- Jackie Legs is in trouble! - What?

I had a dream.

We were shooting a commercial for new shampoo.

"Dream," Louis. Key word right there: dream.

Jackie Legs is not in trouble.

But it was so real.

I mean, other than the fact that the animals were talking.

It makes perfect sense.

We're back in Australia.

To find a new shampoo formula so our company doesn't go out of business.

And we're surrounded by kangaroos.

What else would you dream about?

I'd rather not say.

By the way, how was the commercial?

I'm not so sure about you, but I was magnificent.

Hey, look! There it is.

The ancient tribal land of the Marabuju's.

Where is everybody?

Hello. Anybody home?

This is crazy, Charlie.

What are we doing here?

What do you mean, what are we doing here?

This whole trip was your idea to begin with.

My idea?

All I said was that Jessie said she heard of an aborigine medicine man.

.Chief "Hunky Tooty.

"-Ankamuti.

Right. Who knew more about roots and berries than anybody in the world.

And? What else did you say?

- That we should find "Funky Dooty"... - Ankamuti.

And see if he could help us.

You don't feel this makes it your idea?

Not right now, I don't.

Who are you?

Louis Booker.

Brooklyn, New York.

And you must be the great "Chunky Booty.

Uh.

You'll have to excuse my friend. He's in such awe of you.

You see, we have heard many stories about you and your people.

- And your great wisdom. - What is it you want?

We seek only shampoo.

And maybe a little conditioner thrown in. Something fruity, if you got it.

See, our company's in trouble.

If you could point us to a particularly sweet-smelling berry.

We might come up with a product...

- That... - Silence!

Today is not a good day to be seeking anything.

Follow me.

What's his problem?

I will show you my problem.

Man, that guy has good hearing.

Yes, I do.

Really good.

The power of the tribe has been stolen.

Man, I hate when that happens.

We are the keepers of the stones.

Long, long ago, the Skydwellers entrusted us, with four sacred stones.

One as red as fire, one as blue as the sky.

One as green as the ocean and one as black as night.

And now they have been taken.

Who did this?

An evil man with a smiling forehead.

And another carrying a snake on his arm.

Kind of chilly in here.

Only if the magic gems are returned,

will the gods once again favor us with their wisdom.

Yeah, I could see how that could be a problem.

It is you.

Oh, that's great.

What did you do this time Louis?

- And you. - Me?

It can't be me.

Believe me, it's always him.

Chief, I'm sure there's been some mistake.

- No mistake. - Hey, that's us.

It is written. You are the chosen ones.

You will find the gems.

You will save our people.

- These guys? - It is written.

Is it written anywhere how we're supposed to do this?

Many years ago, there was a great leak in the cave.

Unfortunately, that part of the story is a little fuzzy.

Well, that's caves for you.

- Now, about that shampoo... - Go!

What kind of chief uses the word "fuzzy"?

He's a great man.

He's a great lunatic, is what he is.

I mean, "chosen ones"? Give me a break.

It's my fault, you guys.

All my ideas turn out bad.

I just don't have what it takes.

Oh, Louis. I think you're being too hard on yourself.

I think he's being exactly the right amount of hard on himself.

Oops. Better fill up.

It's too bad. I was really hoping the chief could help.

So much for our brilliant plan.

I guess we gotta go back to New York and start over.

Come up with a better brilliant plan.

Well, don't look at me.

I'm done making plans.

No more brainstorms. I have had my last idea.

No more for me!

Charlie, Jessie. It's Jackie Legs.

Where?

Right there, with Mrs. Legs and Jackie Junior.

- I don't think that's him. - It's gotta be.

He looks just like him.

Look how he's looking at me.

They all look just like him. They're kangaroos.

- Wait, I have an idea. - I thought you were through with ideas.

Not now, Charlie. I'm busy.

Jackie.

Jackie Legs.

I got your favorite. Come on, boy.

Nobody's gonna hurt you.

Remember how he used to like licorice?

Well, sit back and watch.

Look at that.

I told you! Didn't I tell you?

Jackie Legs. We're together again.

Well, I'm still not convinced.

Jackie? Is that you?

Yeah, that's Jackie Legs.

Got you again.

Jackie, stop! It's too dangerous!

Jackie, wait!

- Hey, what are you guys doing? - Easy, Charlie.

We gotta lay low.

These guys are poachers, not Boy Scouts.

The last thing they want are any witnesses.

Closer! Closer!

Got you now, sweetheart!

Got him!

Watch his feet!

Watch his feet!

In you go, tough guy.

This is terrible. How can they do this?

I wonder where they taking him.

Probably hundreds of miles away.

Or not.

What's going on, Charlie?

How many guys are there?

Do they look tough?

- When do you think they'll go to sleep? - Louis!

Sorry.

Look! A campfire.

Think they got any marshmallows? I'm starving.

Why don't you go down and ask.

Wait! There's Jackie!

- We gotta do something. - It could be dangerous.

I think it's pretty safe to say it will be dangerous.

We got to, Charlie.

Jackie saved our life.

He's right.

What happened to the "laying low" and the "no witnesses"?

Think of his beautiful wife.

And his poor baby, barely out of the pouch.