Don't Look

Mom, Dad?

Close your eyes!

Nicole.

Wake up.

You're missing all of this.

- So if you could roast Bieber,

what would you do to him?

I'd shoot him.

How can you just shoot him?

I mean, you have a chance reap retribution for all

of his crimes against humanity and you'd just shoot him?

Strangling, stabbing,

drowning.

Fire or decapitation.

- Yeah, beheading, disembowelment, yeah!

- Almost there, babe, less than an hour, okay?

- Alex, let's think of the children, all right?

Those innocent little children.

And women!

- Yeah, and all those freaking ridiculous outfits

and all those fucking glasses?

I mean, if I have to hear one more, "Bieber, Bieber!"

Ugh.

Bieber, Bieber, Bieber!

- We have to stop, we gotta stop.

Super cute.

- 'Bout time, it was getting cramped up in there.

I just got shocked!

- Careful, all that fresh air's gonna shock your system,

you know?

I can see you, Ted.

Smells like manure out here.

- Can't even get any signal out here, man.

Oh, poor boy.

- So, are you seeing Alex again?

- No, we're just friends.

- Really, the way he looks at you?

Oh.

- And you guys were cuddly in the car.

- Lorena, you know he means a lot to me.

- Enough to bring him over for Thanksgiving.

- He's shy, he had no where to go.

- Watch it with the shy ones.

- Oh, please, he's just an old-fashioned guy,

he grew up in the church.

Ugh, I'm out of paper.

Thank you.

What's up with you and Ted?

- That story hasn't been written yet.

- Be careful, I don't like him.

- Don't worry, I know how to handle his type.

He's super cute.

He's kind of a jerk.

- I just wanna fuck him and chuck him, not marry the guy.

Don't look at me like that.

I know that look.

You're not the one facing four days of no sex in the sticks.

Let's go.

- This is how people used to communicate.

Wow.

Ah, that's crazy, man.

"Lost dog."

"Small Ewok went missing."

- Look, "Please butcher before returning."

Missing cow.

Ooh, let's take guitar lessons.

Oh, look who's back.

Look who's back.

- So this is it for you Nicole, then?

Inherit the farm, move out here, leave it all behind.

- Less than an hour, right? - Yeah, 42 minutes.

- Pee breaks done, ladies, gentlemen,

back to the car, please.

Mademoiselle.

Thank you.

- Hopefully we'll get some signal at the house, man, jeez.

- Ted, make a right up here, please.

- Right here? - Yeah.

- Here it comes. - Oh yeah, Shepard's Farm.

- Right here. - Yeah.

Nice. - Woo, this is pretty.

- Nice right? - Whoa.

So excited.

It's gonna be fun! - Si, senorita.

- Come on, man, I'm gonna smack you.

All right.

Thought your name was Harris.

Harris?

What's with this whole Shepard's Farm?

- I'm still not getting any service on my phone here, man.

Mmm mmm mmm.

Hey you.

Well, hi.

You come here often?

Yeah, drop it right here.

- Seb mentioned your family has a ranch in Austin,

you must know a lot about this farm stuff.

Not much of a farmer but

I do know a little bit about plowing.

Farmer Ted?

Oh, please.

Ranch is just Upper East Side

for the house with all the horses.

- Let's go, guys. - Sebastian.

He serious?

Ted's such a douche bag, man.

- Hey, Nicole! - Hey babe.

So this is cozy.

- I could think of another word for it.

My dad's.

He liked to hunt.

Obviously.

- One of the few things I remember about this place.

- Well I can definitely see why you didn't mind

everyone crashing our weekend getaway.

Safety in numbers?

- Fuck's sake, it's freezing in here.

- This must be for that old bus out back.

- Well, seeing as am I am the only here

that actually knows how to drive this thing,

I am going to have to teach you

and I am going to have to take it for a ride,

blow some doughnuts, make sure everything

is in proper working order.

Yeah, okay.

Still not getting any signal.

This place is incredible.

- Yeah, the fresh air is a little scary.

- Well I'm glad we stayed behind.

- Hey, freeloaders, we need firewood.

On it!

So, Ted, do you wanna grab some firewood with me?

- Yes, Lorena, I would like to get some firewood with you.

- I'm so glad they called the power company.

- How far you think Nicole lived?

I don't know,

I've never even heard about this place.

It's really pretty cool.

It's kinda sexy.

What's in here?

- Wanna check it out? - Yeah!

What is this?

Whoa.

Wow.

- Shut up! - Seriously?

We are not in the city any more.

Yep, it's definitely real.

Ugh.

Stop.

Can definitely be defined as bacon.

Oh, sexy.

"This little piggy went wee wee wee."

Stupid.

Lorena?

Lorena?

Bonita?

Lorena?

- Boo! - Oh, shit!

You scared the shit out of me.

Oh my god.

You scare too easy.