Trilogy of Terror II

The answer is no.

I'm not going to reconsider my decision.

He's fired. Finished. Qut!

After the next board meeting,

your precious cousin is going to be unemployed.

But why?

You're destroying his career. What has he done?

What has he done?

He's done you, my dear. That's what he's done.

Oh, please, Roger. It's just not true.

Here.

Enjoy the movie.

Oh, that's juicy.

Oh, god.

- Oh, god! - Oh, that looks like fun.

What's the matter, my dear? You don't enjoy the show?

You've gone too far this time.

- I'm leaving you. - Oh, really?

Yes, really. I'm leaving you this time.

Well, I suppose that the tabloids

will have a wonderful time with these.

God, you are so sick!

Surprise, surprise.

You knew that, my dear, when you upgraded to "wife."

Here. My will.

Go on, take it. It won't bite you.

Amazing, isn't it?

My dear wife,

still the sole heir to my entire fortune.

Give me that!

Now, you pay attention!

These are the new rules. You are never to see garrick again!

Until the day I'm called to my final reward,

you are to remain my loving and faithful wife.

Because if I find out about one transgression,

one filthy little liaison,

well, then, you're out.

You'll be lucky to end up as a bag lady.

This is going to be fun...

Watching you attempt to cool off those hot little panties of yours.

Bye-bye.

You think the squealer can get away from me?

You know what I do to squealers?

I let 'em have it.

Get real, Ben. This is a serious problem.

Come on, Laura. It's my favorite picture. It's kiss of death.

I've just got to watch this. It's the best part.

No, no, I can't move! I'm sick!

No! No!

I love it when he does that.

Ben, we've got to talk about this.

- Why? I hated the damn job anyway. - That's not what I mean.

It is this. It's got to stop.

He fired me, he didn't kill me.

Yeah, well, he's crazy, Ben, and I am afraid of him.

Why don't you walk? To hell with the money.

Oh, the money is the least of it. I'd rather not see myself on hard copy.

He's really got you, doesn't he?

We could always kill him.

Ben!

You know, we could.

Could what?

Kill him.

- Ben, are you out of... - No, I mean it.

We could.

Are you ever alone with him in the house?

Ben, stop this!

Just answer the question.

Are you ever alone with him?

Tomorrow night.

He doesn't even like the servants, so he clears the place out on Thursdays.

And the board meets Friday.

Ben, I can't hear any more.

Come on, babe. Think about it.

He's half dead anyway. We'll be doing him a favor.

- Got any better ideas? - Ben...

Laura...

Listen to me.

It'll be easy.

All we have to do is scare the hell out of him.

He'll drop dead of a heart attack.

And just think what we can do with all that money, cousin.

And 10,000 shares of homilarithyn.

But not until it's at six and seven-eighths!

Not until it's six and seven-eighths! Now, get that straight!

Is everybody out? Good.

- Did you put the dummies in the gun? - Ben, I...

Let's not go through this again, okay, Laura?

- What the hell is that? - Him.

Pounding on the floor.

Still want to change your mind?

Okay. Okay, let's go.

Tell walden I want him at that meeting in the morning!

And Watson. And Hopkins and sanger.

If they can't get here, they can get another job!

When I called them yesterday morning, neither...

Well, it's about time!

Sorry. I scorched the milk. I had to reheat it.

Can't even warm milk.

- I'm not much of a cook. - You're not much of anything.

Go on, here. Put it down here.

- You burned me! - I'm sorry.

Don't be stupid.

Get away! Back off! You've done enough damage!

I said, back up!

- It's cardboard, and it's cold! - I'm sorry.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

You're always sorry!

What was that?

I don't know.

Get out of the way.

There's somebody out there.

I'll call the police.

Hello? Yes.

This is Mrs. ansford.

483 cotara drive.

I think we've got a burglar in the house. Yes!

A few minutes ago, in the upstairs hall.

Please, please hurry.

Thank you, thank you.

Hurry. There's got to be someone out there.

- What are you going to do with that? - What if he comes in here?

Give that to me. You'll shoot your stupid hand off.

What are you gonna do?

I'm going to protect my property.

Please wait till the police get here.

Isn't that sweet? That's brilliant! Let them take the whole damn house?

Roger, please be careful.

Don't worry about my safety.

Garrick! Get your hands... let go of me!

Just like in the movie.

Thank you, Mrs. ansford.

If only he hadn't always insisted on doing everything himself.

It was a terrible accident, ma'am, but it's not your fault.

- If there's anything else you need... - I don't think so.

Drives a little better than my heap.

I'm still not sure about this, you know? Us traveling up together.

Why? You're the only one who knows he was going to fire me.

And as an important vice president of ansford enterprises...

And a member of the family...

Why shouldn't I accompany the bereaved widow?

By the way, what did you do with those tapes?

I burned them.

That's too bad.

I would've liked to have seen them.

Don't breathe, or we'll die from the quaints.

Well, like I was saying,

old stubbs here does all right for himself, don't he, akers?

Sure does. He's got a real good thing going out there at the boneyard.

Shut your holes. I'm just doing my job.

Yeah, sure you are, on them stiffs, once they've been proper buried.

You know arly. He collects things.

Like, I don't remember seeing this ring last week.

And how about this fine suit jacket?

Don't exactly fit too well, does it, arly? Bet this never come from no store.

You got no right talking to me like that.

Oh, I'm sorry, arly. Didn't mean to insult you.

That's better.

Hey, looky there.

- May I take your order, sir? - Yeah.

A couple of vodkas on the rocks, I guess.

It's another big night in old Salem, huh?

Real fine folks. Bet they're from the city.

Yeah, probably here to bury that ansford fella.

More business for arly!

Hey, maybe something worth digging for, eh, arly?

The devil take the both of you.

Excuse me.

By any chance, would you be Mrs. ansford?

- Yes, I am. - Oh, good, good.

My name is stubbs. Arly stubbs.

Nice to meet you. Sir.

I'm the caretaker over at the graveyard.

I'll be putting your mister away tomorrow.

Oh, I see.

- Do you mind if I sit down? - As a matter of fact, we do.

You city people are really something.

Now, look.

I don't want to seem pushy or nothing like that,

but I think you ought to give arly stubbs a listen-to.

About your mister, that is.

What about him?

Well...

I've been ordered to bury Mr. ansford in the old south yard.

But I wouldn't advise it.

- No, sir. - Why not?

Well, that section has been closed for years.

It's very dangerous. Ground's all ate out.

- I don't understand. - It's them.

What are you talking about?

The rats. I'm talking about the rats.

Every cemetery has a few rats.

Oh, this isn't just a few rats.

There's thousands of them down there. Big ones too.

Some as big as a dog.

- Why don't you get rid of them? - Oh, I've tried. Believe me, I've tried.

I've fought them. I've put poison all over the place.

But they're very smart.

And they've... They've got other things to eat.

Look, mister...