Greek

I'm just so bored with the pledges.

I'm a senior. I should be doing something more.

You turned down an opportunity to work with Dr. Larsen.

I'm intrigued but it could just mean you're stupid.

I'd rather take a chance working on my own project.

- I'll sponsor you. - Does this mean we're a team?

- How's your bank account zero? - You remember my parent problems?

I gave up my trust fund.

I didn't kiss Evan at the party. I kissed Fisher.

- What? - You really screwed up.

- I'm not used to giving second chances. - And you won't regret it.

I hope not.

Hey, Treena! Watch it!

And are you sure about that top?

Looking fierce, Ash.

Sexy fierce or scary fierce?

- Kind of both. - Great!

I'm meeting fisher for our first official it's-only-coffee date

since'the incident,'and I want to look hot, but also threatening.

Like, cheat on me again and I will cut you.

So, what are you doing tonight?

Do you have a date? With who? The cute guy from yoga?

Relax. Panhellenic booked a career advisor

to speak to us about our plans after graduation.

Sounds fun.

Fall's almost over. Finally.

We have one more semester until graduation. The clock's ticking.

And cute yoga boy's cuteness is cancelled out by how much he sweats.

- Excuse me! - What the...?

Is the entire house in here?

Hey Betsy, wasn't there a pledge mixer with pi sigma tonight?

It got cancelled. Their pledges have poison ivy.

Again? Isn't that why they cancelled last time?

No, the last time they had poison oak.

Wait a minute...

- What is that? - I think it's the...

We're all gonna die!

- You ready? - Ready.

Hastings and I made this in the lab today.

It's a new bio-based polymer made from renewable sources,

- which means... - Yay, Earth!

Maybe you'll save the world tomorrow.

It must be nice to know what you want to be when you grow up.

What did you want to be when you were little?

A princess,

then a Ballerina,

and then John Elway.

He's a football player.

I knew that.

What about now?

I don't really know.

So far the gotcha game has been the most exciting thing I've done school-wise.

I wish I had something, though. I don't know.

Something long-term to look forward to.

It might make school feel a little bit more worthwhile.

Yeah. But we're good, right?

What? Of course!

We're beyond good. We're like... Really good.

Looks like a false alarm.

Sprinkler malfunction.

It's a pretty old setup. Think about getting a new one.

Thanks.

Sorry.

Hot fireman is right. We should do that.

Yeah, I did look into getting a new one. But I figured it

could wait until next year. Hey, I'm working with a budget here.

It was between a new sprinkler system, or the new flat-screen Tv.

And you chose the Tv?

I didn't know it was between our safety or dancing with the stars in high-def.

Someone should really get the pledges inside.

Fine, you're still mad at me. The pledges are making a scene,

and not in a good way like Betsy naked in the bushes.

I'm fine! I'm just a little chilly!

See? They were blown off for another mixer, so they stayed in for mud masks

and a Tv series about old people having old people sex.

- Watchingprivate practice? - With amazing clarity!

Maybe I should get them inside and have a chat with them.

Yeah, I think that's a good idea.

Maybe you should do that. They're almost as embarrassing

- as that girl in curlers. - OK, fine. Keep ignoring me.

But you can't ignore the fact that our pledges suck.

I am on it.

-= 305 =- "Down On Your Luck"

I'm really excited about this project.

I'd work on it 24/7 if I could,

but that might upset Jordan.

- She's my girlfriend. - Hand me sample four-a.

And I don't know what's going on lately,

but Jordan,

my girlfriend,

seems a little down.

I don't think she's very excited about school.

You know what she said last night?

Please god, kill me now.

She asked if we're good.

Of course, we're good!

We're great! She knows that.

But I guess I should show her.

Pin her!

- Sir? - Pin her, or flag her, or whatever

the hell it is you frat guys do, and shut the hell up!

Technically that would be a lavaliere,

but that's actually a really good idea.

Stop

talking!

Hey Chambers, looking for a cheap massage?

I know a great place right off campus, you'll be very happy with the ending.

Unfortunately, I'm looking for a new job.

I could put a word in at the massage parlor. You have strong hands

with the softness of someone who hasn't labored a day in his life.

Funny. But you know what's not?

I may not be able to pay house dues, let alone my tuition next master.

I can't get a job around campus because word would get around that I'm broke.

- You still have that car, right? - Yeah, I know.

You're gonna tell me to get rid of the car if I'm so strapped for cash...

Not a chance! That car is your only remaining redeeming value.

Here's one. Sperm donor.

Someone of your pedigree could earn three times as much as I have...

...would. As much as I would.

Know what they say, find a job you love, it's hardly work at all.

- If you're gonna be an ass about it... - I'm sorry, i'll be serious.

- Thank you. - Here's another one...

"part-time cater-waiters.

Work when you want. Perfect for students. Paid in cash."

A waiter? I don't know.

I hated that last job.

You're not gonna get hired for much else with a resume consisting

of your last name and having soft man-hands.

What about the massage parlor?

Nice. Ask for diamond, tell her Cappie sent you.

No, I meant cause you...

- Yeah, you wanna give me that? - Yeah...

We never spoke.

You guys are great. The best.

But it might help to put forth a little more effort.

You know, getting out, being a little more social.

Instead of staying in for mud masks andprivate practice.

Yes, Abby?

We were supposed to have a mixer with Pi Sigma.

We can't dwell on the past

when we have so much to look forward to.

Like the lambda sig pledge calendar.

Each year they organize a photo shoot for all the pledge classes

of all the sororities, assigning each one a different month and theme,

with the best picture going on the cover...

Abby? Do you have a question about the calendar?

No, but I would like to know what happened with

the Pi Sigma mixer we were supposed to have last night.

I'm not sure. I'm sure we can get it back on the books soon.

So the calendar,

We always get July, the best month of the year, for the best house.

You'll all be wearing bathing suits,

so, Linda, you might want to do a little extra, waxing.

Then, after the photo...

Yes, Abby?

Is there going to be a party? I'm just curious

because we haven't been to one in weeks,

and that's the reason most of us joined a sority.

Of course there's going to be a party.

I was just getting to that. However,

that's actually not what being in a sorority is all about...

- But it's a part of it. - Yes, but...

A part we haven't been seeing. For the record.

We could always throw another party with the KTS?

And that's another thing.

Shouldn't we socialize with somebody else other than the KTS for a change?

- They're kind of losers. - Hey, my boyfriend's a KT

No, actually, Abby has a point.

Not about Rusty. Not entirely.

But you should be mixing with other fraternities,

and this calendar is a great way to get to know the lambda sigs.

So they won't cancel mixers with you in the future.

OK, meeting adjourned.

What is it?

It kind of freaks me out when you walk in here and stare at us with

- that serial killer smirk. - I want to lavaliere jordan.

What? I thought you guys would be happy for me.

I knew this day would come. Just not so soon.

Beaver, get the book.

The dictionary?

I don't know what lavaliere means.

Ever notice that kts don't do much lavaliering?

Yeah, because I thought you guys are a bunch of commitment-phobes.

True. But it's also because of...

Dramatic pause...

... the curse.

What curse?

It started with the first recorded kt lavaliering

on october 7th, 1871 at the university of chicago...

The day before the great chicago fire.

What? Come on.

In 1912, a kt brother lavaliered his girlfriend,

then took her on a celebratory cruise...

... aboard the titanic.

Which left from england, so that makes sense.

The last known kt to lavaliere was in 1986.

The brother was so excited that he went home to tell his entire family

... in chernobyl.

Chernobyl? Seriously? You really expect me to buy all this?

I don't really buy it, either.