Speechless

Where's Ray? This is important.

Yo. Sorry. I was getting a few items...

Taylored.

That was horrible, Ray. I hated that.

Right. Big news.

Cerebral Palsy Foundation are giving away two tickets

to the premiere of the new "Star Wars" movie.

Their phones open at 10:00 a.m.

First caller gets the tickets. JJ is gonna get them.

Maya, the flier says that the giveaway was Tuesday,

so... yesterday.

Oh, no. It already happened.

Oh, I'm so sorry, JJ.

It looks like somebody already got those tickets.

Me!

Mom, you got them?

That's amazing!

And the way you announced it...

You have a real flair for the dramatic.

Do I?

We're going to "Star Wars"!

"Not so fast.

Who should I take?"

Oh, don't tease me like that.

We've seen every "Star Wars" movie together,

and you know I'm the biggest fan here.

"Let's put that to the test."

Ooh, a family quiz that also tortures Ray.

I'm in.

"Dad, this"... S-P... "space station

blew up at the end of the first movie."

The Death Star.

- Everyone knows that. - I didn't.

I've never seen "Star Wars."

What? What kind of person has never seen "Star Wars"?

Ooh, make a thing out of this. I want to watch.

"Dylan, Chew-bake-a is a 'blank.'"

Awesome dude. Correct.

No! The correct answer is "wookiee."

You don't think Chewbacca's an awesome dude?

And you want to bring this guy to the premiere?

- - "Mom, fill in the blank.

May the 'blank' be with you."

- "Star Wars." - "Close enough."

We're done. We all know I'm going with you.

I refuse to let you torture me.

I'm not gonna dance for you.

"Or... dance for me."

Look away, Taylor.

We need to talk about how this family wields power.

Hello?! Is anyone here?!

JJ forgot his notebook,

and I'm just here to pick it up for him!

Aaahhhhh!

I fell and broke my leg!

Oh, please help me!

I'm gonna need backup.

The old groundskeeper kept his keys.

Looks like he's about to enjoy

all of the school's amenities.

Oh, he's getting the same workout he did in his old gym,

but for free.

Ah!

Come quick!

He's turned on all the showers,

and it's a steam room now!

He's eating froyo, and it's a lot

because there's no one here to judge him.

I'm starting to think

this guy's never gonna get caught!

Morning, JJ. Morning, darling.

"I was"... T-H... "thinking

it would be fun to take a car to the"...

P-R... "premiere."

- I don't know, sweetheart. - 'm more comfortable driving you.

"I'd pay."

- Oh, go nuts. - Have a nice ride.

"Sound good?"

So, you are taking me?

And you're answering in R2-D2?

"We'll have to leave at 4:00."

Oh, 4:00 no worky. I have plans.

"Let me guess... With Taylor?"

And her brother Logan, who you hate.

- Dylan! - Provocateur's gonna provocatoo.

Are you sure you're okay with not going?

Are you kidding me?

It'll be great to have them out of the house.

One requires so much attention and has all these needs.

And then there's JJ.

She has a point.

It's never just the three of us,

and those guys dictate a lot of what we do.

It'll be fun! We'll do exactly what we want,

just Mum, Dad, and Dylan.

You guys can call it Mom-Da-Dyl night!

- It's our night. Thank you. - Thank you so much. We don't need a name.

Bye.

Excuse me, everyone.

I have some very disturbing news.

Last night, our dear school was violated

by an act of vandalism.

The perpetrators gained entry,

accessed the frozen-yogurt machine,

and left it running, which ruined the floor.

Sadly, he or she was wily enough to avoid our security cameras.

Security cameras?

Be very careful. If you encounter this vandal,

please, don't be a hero.

Let them do... whatever they want to you.

- Dr. Miller, don't freak out. - What?

There was no vandal. I did it.

W-Wha-What do you mean?

I still have my keys from when I was a groundskeeper,

and I come here at night sometimes.

It's a good hang.

My gym fees went up,

and so I started to work out here after hours.

Could I please keep the keys?

Nobody has ever said my school's a "good hang" before.

I put so much work into it, and finally someone cares.

Kenneth, you come back any time you want.

Just... you be more careful, you old froyo hound.

What are you staring at?

India Herzfeld?

I heard she has a modeling contract,

and there's a billboard of her in Tokyo,

and everyone who drives by it gets in a car crash and dies.

She saw us staring. Look away.

Even her shadow's hot.

Nice shirt. How did you get it?

"It came with my tickets to the"...

P-R... "premiere."

You're going to the premiere?

I would give anything to go to that premiere.

Mom!

JJ, that is a jerk move.

You promised the ticket to Ray.

Ha. See?

But I did give you the tickets, so the choice is yours.

But you really got to ask yourself,

when you look back, will you feel good about...

Will you let me finish the sentence?

So, you're gonna go alone with this stranger?

What if she needs to help you?

I haven't seen her Japanese billboard,

but I'm pretty sure she's not giving a guy a bathroom transfer.

Oh, Japan is weird.

"So, I won't drink. Worth it."

So that's it? I just get cast aside

for the first gorgeous international model

that comes around?

I'm very dateable.

Ask Taylor.

Or Mom!

Aw.

All right, let's have a look at this India Herzfeld.

Ooh, yeah, no, I get it. Yep, yep, yep.

My own brother, tossing me aside like a piece of garbage.

- And it's "Star Wars." - So sad.

How would you know? You've never even seen it.

I'm sorry. I'm lashing out. But watch it soon.

- Why don't you try to go? - How?

JJ got the hookup through a cerebral palsy group.

What am I supposed to do?

Find someone else with cerebral palsy to take me?

Ohh, that would drive JJ crazy.

Hey, Logan. Do you like "Star Wars"?

- I like screwing over JJ. - That works.

This is fun, just us three.

I've always wanted to express my artistic side,

but there's never time.

Also, Ray would never let you paint the curb red

so people can't park in front of the house.

He shouldn't have gone out.

You know, I'm starting to take some pride in this place.

I just wish every house on the block

didn't have a nicer mailbox than ours, you know?

Why can't you say "The Fredricksons"

in a nice red script?

Well, if you'd take your turn, we could do that next.

Nah, your guys' stuff is more fun.

Besides, this thing's fine.

I defy you to find a mailbox with better timing.

Here it goes. Wish me luck.

Let me handle this. I've got a way with people.

Work your magic.

Yeah, give us tickets.

I can't do that.

Well, no luck. Let's get tacos.

Oh, JJ. You're looking well.

- "What are you doing here?" - I'm here with Logan.

We're already having a lovely time.

We were just on our way to get tacos.

After!

Thank you for bringing me here.

Oh, right.

Maybe there's a ramp?