Young & Hungry

I am so excited to go to work today.

Well, not the work part, but the going part,

because I get to ride my brand new used motorcycle!

- Gabi, I'm freaking out. - Oh, don't freak out.

You know I used to ride with my aunt all the time.

Which is why he gave me his motorcycle,

because my aunt is now my uncle,

and he can't ride it anymore, because it's pink.

Do you really think that's why I'm freaking out?

Gabi, tonight is my third date with Nick, you know what that means?

Yes, we're going to engage in

bow-chicka-wow-wow for the very first time,

and you know, it has to be amazing.

Don't worry, okay? It's gonna be fine.

You've done this a thou... Hun... handful of times.

But those handful were amazing, were they not?

Well, I don't wanna toot my own horn,

but I did toot theirs pretty damn good.

Heh! That's my girl!

And you know what else is gonna be amazing?

Uh, knowing that your best friend has confidence in you

and believes in you?

And won't be here tonight?

Oh. All right, no problemo, I will stay at Josh's.

When I show up on my brand new motorcycle,

it's gonna get his motor running,

and then I'm gonna show him some dangerous curves.

Ah-toot toot!

If you don't say anything like that to Nick, it's gonna go great.

Josh...

Gabi, one second, I'm a little busy.

I have a super sexy surprise for you.

I like super sexy surprises.

- Where is it? - Downstairs.

- Is that a euphemism? - No.

And before I tell you it's in the parking garage,

that is not a euphemism, either.

Okay. Are you ready?

I'm ready. I'm ready!

All right. Open your eyes.

Ta-da!

- What's this? - My Uncle Chris gave me his motorcycle!

How great is it?

I... think it's bad.

Yeah, right, it's super bad.

I mean, look at it, it's so cool!

Wouldn't say cool.

Yeah, you're right. It's more hot.

You wanna take a ride with me?

Nope.

- What do you mean, nope? - I mean, get rid of it.

You're not ridin' this motorcycle.

- What? - I won't allow it!

I'm sorry, what, Dad?

See if I ever take you downstairs again!

And that is a euphemism!

Oh, Yolanda. Look at these pictures of me.

What's different?

Ooh, what's different is you look skinny!

You must've gotten a defective tablet.

I know. Where was this thing when I was online dating?

I could've done way better than Alan.

I'm sorry, Gabi, I will not let you ride that motorcycle.

You won't "let" me? You won't "let" me?

Ooh, they're fighting.

I hope it's the big one.

You are going to hurt yourself.

No, I'm not, okay?

I used to ride with my uncle all the time,

I have a motorcycle license!

Do you know why doctors refer to motorcycles

as "donor-cycles"?

Uh, because it rhymes?

Because 90 percent of organ donations

come from dead bikers.

Ohh. Well, then I'm gonna be fine, because I'm not a donor!

You are missing the point!

- Which is...? - I said no!

No motorcycle for you.

Are you kiddin' me?

Gabi's a grown woman,

and you can't tell her what to do!

Uh, boss.

I support Josh a hundred percent.

And maybe someday,

I'll give him one of my organs.

As your boss, I'm instituting a no-motorcycle policy,

starting right now, and that goes for all employees.

I'm not gonna watch you kill yourself.

I'm not gonna kill myself. Josh, there are so many ways to die.

I mean, I could... I could get caught in a riptide,

I could get struck by lightning, I could die in a plane crash.

But you never do, Gabi.

You never do!

That Ethiopian place was great, right?

Yep, it was pretty great.

I helped the owner get his green card,

so he makes it extra spicy for me.

Ehhh, how many green cards did you get him?

So, uh, should we, have a drink, or...

- Um... - skip it?

What was that?

Um, that... That was me.

Arrrarrr...

Yeah, I definitely heard something.

Mo... That's a motorcycle! That's Gabi's new motorcycle!

Hey! Wow, those things are loud!

Wasn't she supposed to be staying at Josh's tonight?

Yeah, well, maybe something went wrong.

Please, God!

Sorry! Sorry! I know tonight's your special night.

I'm just grabbing my PJ's and then I'm gonna sleep at Yolanda's.

Oh, wait, why are you sleeping at Yolanda's?

Josh and I had words. All of his were wrong.

- I'll fill you in tomorrow. - No! Uh...

Fill me in now. You two had a fight?

- You can't hold this in all night. - Oww!

Okay, I'm real... I'm sorry... Listen, I don't wanna

ruin your special night of bow-chicka-wow-wow.

You have to, um, help me.

Oh... Oh, my, ah, Sofia, you know me too well.

I am a total mess!

And I need my best friend's shoulder to cry on!

Why don't I give you guys a little

privacy, I'll, uh, wait in the bedroom.

No, no! No no no, no, no.

I need to, uh...

I need to cry in all the rooms.

Yes. It was a very big fight.

Oh, no, that is terrible!

Nick, uh, this pains me. But, um, Gabi's a wreck.

Could we maybe try this again tomorrow?

Over ginger ale and clear broth?

- Um... if that's what you want. - Mm-mm.

Gabi, y... you still may have to sleep over at Yolanda's house tonight.

Come on, Yolanda, let's go!

Damn, girl, I thought you were the police.

I almost flushed my stash!

All right, are you ready to go to work on the bike

that Josh didn't want me to have?

Oh, good. So you're over it.

I started to get over it, and then I started thinking about it.

H... He's not worried about me, he just wants to control me.

- What? - He's always tellin' me what to do,

what time to get there, what he wants for breakfast,

what he wants for lunch, what time he wants all those meals served.

- You're his chef! - Oh, don't take his side!

Gabi, trust me, if that boy wanted to control you,

he'd just make that bike disappear.

Oh my god, where's my motorcycle?

Oh, that boy's tryin' to control you!

And get away with it?

Well, he's in for a rude awakening.

Hell, yeah, he is. I just don't think he's ever gonna admit it.

Oh, he's gonna admit it. As long as we go

in there, and do exactly what we planned.

All right. Let's crack this bitch.

Whoo-hoo! That was one hell of a motorcycle ride

- to work, Yolanda. - Oh, hell yeah, it was.

Last time I had somethin' vibrate that hard

between my legs, it had batteries.

Wait... you rode the bike to work today?

Yeah. Yeah, Josh, we did.

Why? Does that seem odd to you?

No. What seems odd is that not only would you ride the bike to work

knowing how against it I am, but that you would

saunter in here and throw it in my face.

Uh, uh, Gabi, um, what's happening?

Just stick to the plan.

So, uh, Josh, where were you last night, huh? What'd ya do?

I was here all night.

Aha! You were here all night!

Uh... All night. Uh, maybe he didn't take the bike.

Oh, he took it. I'm gonna get him to admit it.

- How? - You took my bike, admit it!

What are you talking about?

Wha? What are you talking about?

Please. This morning I went down to where I parked my bike

last night, and it was gone.

So you're blaming me?

Well, you're the one who took it, so...

No, I'm not!

Yesterday, you had a huge problem with my bike,

and then today, coincidentally, it gets stolen?

Wow. I never thought you would stoop this low.

I did not stoop, I'm no stooper!

And I don't appreciate being wrongfully accused of something I didn't do!

Now, I'm gonna be in my office in case anybody wants to come in there

to apologize for falsely accusing me of somethin'!

Wait a minute. I'm confused.

If he didn't take the bike, who did?

- What do you know? - Nothing.

- Where's the bike? - I don't know!

I know you know somethin'. You're avoiding my gaze.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I love the gays.

Give it up, Elliot. You know something.

All I know is how sexy I look on my "SkinnyPad."

Oh. Oh, really, here, lemme, uh, lemme see that!

Hey, give me back my SkinnyPad!