Fargo

(ow RADIO) They won't...

She won't stop, you know?

Day after...

I was a maker.

I'm gonna do it tonight... when she's sleeping.

But I'm scared... (TURNS OFF RADIO)

She said that I gotta make a meatloaf.

I said we'd bring Jell-O salad,

but Kitty said meatloaf, so...

Hon?

So... What's that, hon? (SIGHS)

I said it's Gordo's birthday tonight.

We're supposed to be at your brother's at 4:00 with meatloaf.

It sounds different today, don't you think?

Like, angry?

I'm washing towels. It's a towel sound.

Oh.

Kitty said they just got one of those fancy European all-in-ones.

Says it washes and dries. One machine.

Can you believe that?

Bet that set them back a penny.

He can afford it, your brother.

Kitty said he just got a big promotion

after only working there a year.

Kitty said they also got one of those fancy new

surround sound systems.

Guess I married the wrong Nygaard. (LAUGHS)

On. (LAUGHS)

That's what I said. We had a good laugh.

Well, it's just slow now at the shop.

Hon... that's what you always say. "Slow."

Well...

better get back to it.

You make your own wins.

That's what Kitty said Chaz told her.

Salesmen make their own wins.

You gotta try harder, hon. Smile, for Pete's sake.

Maybe wear a nicer tie.

You gave me this tie.

Well, if you were a better salesman,

I'd have bought you a nicer tie. (LAUGHS)

At least take a look.

I keep thinking maybe it's the settings.

Kitty says Chaz

fixes things around the house all the time.

Says he took the toaster apart over the weekend.

Now it's good as new. Browns to beat the band.

So that's...

Like I said, there's two kinds of policies you should be thinking about.

You got your Whole Life

and your Whole Life Plus which covers

the same benefits of Whole Life

plus a heck of a lot more.

Well, we just came in to get Charlene on my health care.

On account I'm having a baby.

Yeah.

A boy, we're hoping.

Or a little girl.

I'd just about hug the pants off a little girl.

Yeah? Well, uh...

Even more... Yeah.

All the more reason to...

Because what happens... what happens

if you have an accident at your job?

I work at the library.

Okay.

What happens if you have a car crash and go out the windshield...

or... or... or say you're up a ladder cleaning out the gutters

and you fall off the darn thing and break your neck?

These things happen every day.

And people fall asleep smoking in bed.

They burn to death.

What... what I'm saying is

the morgue is full of guys thought they didn't need life insurance.

For peace of mind, I'm saying, to know that your little boy...

Or girl.

Right... or little girl is taken care of.

We're supposed to be at my mom's by 4:00.

Yeah, so we're gonna...

Oh, okay.

Well, at least let me give you a brochure or I got these pens.

I got these nifty pens... Look at that, huh?

With most of the colors.

Okay, well, if you change your mind, then give me a...

Oh, heck.

Will you look at that?

What is it, Dad?

Yeah, Dad. What is it?

Hey, Sam.

That there, boys, is a black man.

He don't... he don't look black, Dad.

Yeah, Dad, he don't look black. More like a big pumpkin.

Yeah! Yeah, like a big, stupid pumpkin.

Lester Niggered.

Now, come on, Sam, it's Nygaard... just like in high school.

You went to high school with a black man, Dad?

Yeah, Dad, did you?

Shut up.

How you been, Lester?

Yeah, real good.

Yeah? Yeah.

Me, too. Yeah, trucking company's doing super.

Got rigs all over the Great Lakes.

Just bought a summer house up Bear Island.

It's pretty sweet.

Hey... you remember the story I told you

of the boy I put in the oil drum and rolled onto the highway?

Is that him, Dad?

Yeah, Dad, is that him?

Oh, you betcha.

Betcha.

Good old Lester pencil dick. (CLEARS THROAT)

Hey, say, Lester...

what was the name of that girl you went with in high school?

You know, the curvy one.

That's Pearl. Yeah.

Yeah, Pearl.

What a rack on that girl, huh?

Dad's saying she had big titties.

Yeah, I know what "rack" means, you fairy... Ow!

Yeah, Dad, ow...

You know, she gave me a tug once.

Homecoming senior year. Had the nice fat hands.

Real soft.

We're married now. Going on 18 years.

Oh, Dad, that's embarrassing.

Yeah, Dad, super embarrassing.

Eighteen years, huh?

Yeah.

That's something.

Never knew what she saw in you, really.

Well, I...

No, I mean, help me out.

Is it your stupid pencil dick or your little rat face?

Yeah, well, uh...

I should get back to it.

Come on.

Did I ever tell you how I used to beat

this little guy up in high school?

I'd write my name on my fist in Sharpie before I'd punch him

so everyone else would know who did it.

That's a good one, Dad.

Yeah, Dad, real good one.

Remember?

Yeah, I... It's... it's a long time ago, but...

What a day.

Mmm.

Excuse me, miss?

Do you think...

Will it be much longer? This thing hurts like the dickens.

We'll call your name.

Yeah, but I've been here an hour already.

We'll call your name.

Could I have a sip?

Oh.

Heck, take the whole can.

I can't drink the darn thing without a straw.

Obliged. Mmm.

What happened to your nose?

It was...

it was just a misunderstanding.

Now was this you misunderstanding the other fella

or him misunderstanding you?

Pardon?

Who misunderstood whom?

No, what I'm saying...

It's...

it's not good to dwell on these things.

Why?

Pardon?

Why is it not good to dwell on these things,

especially things that put you in a hospital?

Well, I was... I was outnumbered, if you want to know the truth.

Three to one.

Big... big guys, too. Well, one of them.

Other two were just kids but big for their age, you know?

If I was any kind of man, I'd have shown that Sam what's what.

Sam?

Hess.

The bully in high school and he's a bully now.

So why didn't you...

show him what's what?

Well, his...

He had his sons with him and...

You let a man beat you in front of his children

to send them a message?

No, that's not...

Heck.

Just... heck.

In my experience, if you let a man break your nose,

the next time, he tries to break your spine.

Sam? No way. Mmm-mmm.

I mean, I don't think.

It just... I guess I embarrassed him in front of his boys.

You embarrassed him? Yeah, by...

He was telling me about a time where he and my wife, they were...

But he didn't know she was my wife

is the thing and when I told him...

This man slept with your wife and

you're worried about embarrassing him?