The Looney Tunes Show

Ahh!

Ohh. Well, that was fun.

Good match.

Whoops. Almost slipped there.

Got to be careful.

Whoa! Oof.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

I was so starving.

Playing tennis really works up an appetite.

I wouldn't know.

Hey, you two.

- Oh, hi, mom. - Hi, Patricia.

Lola, don't forget,

I booked us for a pedicure at 1:00.

Ooh, we better go.

Mmm. Mmm. Sorry, tennis.

Gotta fuel the machine.

Bye, dad.

Have fun.

Bugs.

Hey, Walter.

Enjoying your little lunch?

Lola and I were playing tennis.

Well, she was.

Tennis. I didn't know you played tennis.

I love tennis.

How would you like to play

in the tennis tournament held right here

at the Royal Oaks Glen Oaks Oakwood Oaks Country Club?

A tennis tournament? That'd be great.

Well, then it's settled.

We'll enter the father son tennis tournament.

Father son?

Walter, I'm not your son.

Oh, Bugs, you really know how to wound an old man.

I think of you as my son,

ergo you are my son.

What do you say?

Hmm. Getting to hit the ball to someone

and having them actually hit it back.

Let's do it.

Wonderful!

Got to fuel the machine.

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.

Oh, good, you're awake. Let's go.

What? It's 4:00 in the morning.

We've got to start training.

The father son tennis tournament is in a few weeks.

I gotta say, I like your enthusiasm.

What's up?

Are you just getting home?

Yeah.

Where were you?

Out.

What's in the bag?

Stuff.

Well, training awaits.

How is this training for the father son tennis tournament?

There's two parts to the tournament.

Sure, there's the tennis part,

but what I think we need to focus on is the father son part.

If we don't first bond as father and son,

then how will we bond on the tennis court?

Whoops. Ha ha.

Well, we'll just share.

Oh, would you look at us?

We're bonding.

What's in the bag?

Stuff.

I should get going.

I've got to pick up my kid.

Pfft! You have a kid?

He's not my actual kid.

I'm just his mentor.

I joined the father figure program.

What's the father figure program?

It's a program for kids

who need positive male role models in their lives.

What do you have to do?

You take them to fun places.

Out to lunch, to the movies.

Sometimes you take them shopping.

You should join the father figure program.

Hmm. Seems kind of time consuming.

But maybe it'd be good.

It's supposed to be very rewarding.

Huh. I'll do it.

Wow. I'm impressed.

I'm not always the self-centered jerk

that people think I am.

Well, I better go.

What does that have to do with me?

Ahh! Ahh! Ooh!

I just want to say I'm so excited to be your father figure.

I want you to know that I take this responsibility very seriously.

I want to make a difference in your life

because I know you're about to make a difference in mine.

Listen, piggy.

I go through father figures

like you go through boxes of chocolates.

I may look small,

but I can take care of myself.

So let's just make this easy for both of us

and walk away before anyone gets hurt.

And by anyone, I mean you.

Now, now, Henry, I'm not going anywhere.

I'm committed to this program.

I'm committed to you.

Now, let's get to know each other.

I understand you're 7 years old.

7 and a half.

How old are you, 90?

What?

Ha ha. No.

How come your skin is so stretchy?

I didn't know it was.

Why do you wear that outfit?

What are you, a waiter?

Actually, I'm a caterer.

Then make me some chicken.

Pardon?

I said make me some chicken.

Henry, first of all, you need to learn how to say please.

And second of all, I packed us a picnic lunch.

Ooh, is it chicken?

No, peanut butter and jelly.

And I might have put a couple boxes of chocolates in there.

Well, can we get chicken afterwards?

No.

After our picnic, we're gonna do something fun.

Have you ever been to the textile museum?

They have an exhibit on early American tablecloths.

Or, um, we could do something else.

What do you want to do?

I'm a chicken hawk.

I want chicken.

Enough with the chicken.

I'm your father figure,

and I say we're going to the textile museum

and we're gonna see what those early Americans ate dinner on.

Henry!

See you later, piggy.

I'm gonna find some...

Uhh.

I've always dreamed of this--

tossing the baseball around with my son.

Oh!

You know, Walter,

the tournament is right around the corner.

And it is a tennis tournament, not a baseball tournament.

Don't you think we should play tennis at some point?

Oh, Bugs, you're nothing if you're not practical.

You must get that from Patricia's side of the family.

My side, we're all dreamers.

Go long!

Touchdown!

Ha ha ha!

Oh, that's my boy.

What are you doing?

I joined the father figure program.

Wow, I'm impressed.

A little surprised that they would let you be a father figure.

Oh, I'm not the father figure.

I'm getting a father figure.

Yeah, that makes more sense.

I'm the one who needs the mentor.

You saw me sauntering home at 4:00 am.

Heaven knows where I was or what I was doing.

I'm out of control, man.

I need guidance.

Oh, that must be my father figure now.

Eh, I don't want to know.

Ooh, limo.

So far so good.

Daffy Duck?

Big fat rooster?

In all the time I say, I all the time

I've known you,

I had no idea you were a child.

Oh. Uh, actually--

That makes you-- I say, that makes you

all the more impressive.

Well, I've always felt I was wise beyond my years.

Can I have one of these waters?

You can have anything you'd like, boy.

Can I have four of these waters?

Heh heh heh.

Heh heh heh.

Mr. leghorn, this is the same idiot

who ruined your movie and destroyed your company.

That's precisely why he needs a father figure.

And why you need to mind your own business, Carol.

So tell me, son, what-- I say, what do you feel like doing today?

Amusement park? Putt putt golf?

Ice skating?

Great. All of it.

I got nothing on my schedule.

Mentor away.

Heh heh heh.

Ha ha ha!