Hart of Dixie

I sublet the carriage house to my cousin Lynly.

Now, if you so much as flirt with her, I will remove your arms.

- Just call me "Chick from last night." - Uh, Chick, I made you some eggs.

- What's wrong, Lynly? - I met a guy. He made me eggs.

But he said he doesn't want to see me again.

- We need a favor. - A favor?

- I was hoping you would tutor her. - Of course.

All right, each of you are here

because your contempt for our neighbors to the north.

- I hate you, but I hate Fillmore more. - Exactly.

You are supposed to be gone. This practice is mine now.

I have the e-mail to prove it.

Of course it is. I am just here to see how you are.

Stay away from my patients, or I'll get a restraining order.

I am the only doctor in town. I thought I banned you.

I'm here as a girlfriend, not doctor.

You really don't see a pattern here?

All I said was that you might have sleep apnea. I heard snoring.

Yesterday you wanted to check me for scoliosis,

the day before that, dengue fever.

Look, you don't have to be overweight to have sleep apnea.

You could have a deformed epiglottis.

Come on. If you love me, you'll let me

just take one little peek down your throat.

All right, all right, this is a family establishment.

You can take the flashlight and the dirty talk back to the Whippoorwill.

Two Alabama Omelettes.

Are these egg whites? 'Cause, you know, I...

Yeah, yeah, egg whites from free-range chickens

raised up on the Upper West Side of Manhattan.

Went to all the best schools. Enjoy.

Well, that never gets old.

Okay, come on, just one look? Say "Ah""

Zoe, sweetie...

You need to go back to work.

I know.

It's just that we've been here a while,

and you don't seem any closer to finding gainful employment.

No, but I am. I've spent the last couple weeks enacting

a genius two-pronged plan to get Brick to hire me back.

- I'm intrigued. - Prong one: butter him up!

Every day I stop by his office, bring him a pastry, say, "Hey".

Prong two:

Every lunch hour, I schmooze the good people of BlueBell

right in Brick's line of vision.

Why? So Brick knows you're not missing any meals?

So he can remember the good rapport I have with my former patients.

Slowly, an idea will form, take root.

Then one night, he will have a realization:

"Zoe Hart could open her own practice and steal my patients!"

Soon after that, he's gonna ask me back.

So what do you think?

Well, I think I can reduce your two-pronged approach to a single prong.

Why don't you open your own practice?

What? No, no.

I don't want my own...

The whole point of this is for me to get back into that practice.

Yeah, but Brick doesn't have to know that.

If he's so scared, threaten to go into business for yourself.

We have to do things the Southern way.

Trust me. It's already working.

Even if it seems like it's not, that's what makes it Southern.

Huh?

And I'd like to see a mockup for the bouquets

by the end of the day today.

That is a hard deadline, people.

Better get comfortable. We could be here for days. What'd I miss?

Oh, well, Her Highness has set a new record for opening remarks: 20 minutes.

Now for new business.

First up, the annual plantathon. It's time to decorate the gazebo.

So, in the interest of speeding things along...

Lemon...

I didn't call on you yet.

Yes, I know, but have to get back to the Rammer Jammer.

I'm prepping for a very special show tomorrow night.

Lemon booked The Head and the Heart. Y'all should come.

I didn't realize we allowed personal solicitations at our meetings.

Well, the point is that I just want to let everyone know

what type of flowers I ordered.

- Three colors of roses... - Oh, let me just stop you right there.

See, I am choosing the flowers this year.

- Crickett, I always choose... - Begonias and oleander.

It'll be beautiful.

Now moving on...

Let it go, Lemon, there's always next year.

Crickett, you're making a mistake.

Lemon, I-I'm not sure I heard you.

Well, first of all, begonias and oleander are an appalling combination,

creatively, aesthetically, and botanically.

And second of all, oleanders are poisonous,

and I'm pretty sure that it's in our best interest

not to be killing the good people of BlueBell.

It is a good point.

Well, this is a democratic institution.

Lets put it to a vote, shall we?

Everyone who thinks the leader of the Belles should choose

the flowers this year, raise your hands so I can see them.

And everyone who thinks we should trust the judgment

of Lemon Breeland, who, I remind you,

recently had relations with Meatball, raise your hands.

And there you have it. Yay, democracy!

Hey, Frank.

Where do I find earplugs and antihistamines?

You're gonna have to wait for Tom to get in.

I'm off duty.

From 12:00 to 2:00, I man my other business,

Dixie Stop Investigations.

BlueBell's only full-service security and investigative firm.

Um... could you investigate the mystery of where I could find

earplugs and antihistamines?

Is this guy giving you some trouble there, Frank?

I was just under the impression that I could actually buy drugs

from the Dixie Stop Drugstore.

Well, I could prescribe you some ointment to get rid of that New York attitude.

Okay, I'm not sure what I did to offend you, but I'm sorry.

Well, maybe you should just check with your girlfriend.

You think I don't know what she's up to?

Uh, Zoe's up to nothing, except diagnosing me

and learning to juggle because you won't let her back in her practice.

"Her" practice?

- Her practice! - No, I didn't mean that.

Oh, so that's what she thinks?

That's not what I meant. I didn't...

I spent 25 years building this practice,

and she's gonna steal it out from under me?

She's not trying to steal it...

I have seen her schmoozing my patients.

Brick, believe me, if she wanted to steal your patients,

she would have stolen them by now.

It's obvious this town loves her.

Oh, really?!

Oh, so that's what she thinks?

Well, if Zoe Hart wants to open her own practice,

you tell her to be my guest.

That wasn't my point. I did not mean that. Brick, come on!

I think he may have taken that the wrong way.

Oh, no, this can't be happening!

- This is the worst news possible. - What is it?

Fillmore's about to get their own minor league baseball team.

Okay, so not the worst news possible.

There've been rumblings that the Daphne Mackerals are leaving Daphne.

So I called the owner, Cameron Lynch, to pitch 'em BlueBell, six, seven times.

- Lavon... - Never got a callback.

- Now they in negotiations with Fillmore! - Lavon!

Why don't you ask Brick to help?

Brick? Why?

Because Brick and Cameron Lynch are old college buddies.

Which I know since, lucky me,

managing Brick's Facebook page falls under my job description.

Annabeth, sweetheart, I could kiss you right now!

Ooh, not a bad opening offer, but I think you can do better.

It's kind of a dull pain, you know, but sharp, if you know what I mean.

- It hurts when you're slinging fish? - Yeah.

It's a rotator cuff. Get an MRI.

- Okay. - Okay.

- Thanks, Doc. - Sure.

Delma! Delma, Delma, I do not like the sound of that cough.

Maybe my biscuit went down the wrong tube?

Maybe you need to get an X ray.

Hey! There she is, the hardest-working unemployed doctor in the South.

I can't turn it off.

Exactly! Which is why

I've been thinking that you really should start your own practice.

I'm sorry. Did one of us have an aneurysm

or did we not have that very conversation this morning?

No, we did, we did.

So what has changed between then and now?

Joel?

Promise me that you'll see this

for the funny story that it will eventually become.

Oh, no.

Oh, like what you've done with my office.

Well, if it isn't the competition.

Joel has something he wants to say.

Yes, Dr. Breeland. We had a miscommunication earlier.

I in no way meant to threaten or imply

that Zoe wants to open her own practice.

That-That is the last thing she wants to do.

Very last thing. So true.

Then why have I been getting calls from old Sal Nutter asking about an MRI

and Delma Warner requesting X rays?

What do these patients have in common?

I was just making conversation with my friends.

Or as we down here in the South, trying to hijack my livelihood!

Oh... Show him the pecan strudel. It's amazing.

Brick, I don't get it.

We were doing so great before I left for New York.

We enjoyed working together!

Oh, you can rewrite history all you want.

All I can say is I'm a million times happier

and this town is a trillion times healthier since you left.

Everything okay in here?

Yeah. They're just in the middle of making up.

- Well, don't believe me. Ask anyone! - Fine. Consider my apology retracted.

Whatever Joel said the first time? He was right.

I am gonna open my own practice!

Actually, you can't.

Excuse me?

I was just dropping off some files, but legally,

you are not allowed to open your own practice.