Crossworlds

Where's the rest of it?

Somewhere where you'll never find it.

Hey Joe, are you coming?

Come on, man.

-Hey, Joe. -Beer coming!

And he catches it and the fans are going wild!

Babe.

Where do you think you're going, sir?

-Little place called home. -Oh, no.

No!

You were trying to get away...

from the hump night party.

Yeah, guys, I think I'm going to miss the...

"sit around-complain about women-get drunk-puking all night-thing".

All right, I'll be up here.

It's time to party for the crowd!

Party!

Come on, guys. You know I hate these parties.

Look, it's time to get over that, you know what I'm saying?

-You know what his problem is? -What?

-You have no vices. -What are you talking about?

I've got plenty of vices. I've got vices.

Show what a vice is.

Yeah.

Now that's a vice.

That had to have hurt.

It did, kind of.

You're a knucklehead.

Let's go to the hump night party!

Let's party and be merry.

I know a couple of bettys...

that are great for you, bud.

Oh my God!

She's checking you out!

-She's looking at you, man. -You think so?

She's definitely looking at you.

-No, I think she's looking at Stu. -She wasn't, she was looking at you.

She was looking at you, man. Make the move.

Make the move!

Oh, man. Here we go.

She's not looking at me, okay? The girl's not looking at me.

Right, you know ever since Caroline dumped you,

man.

The girl is not looking at me, okay?

You've lost your balls, Joe.

Let's get something straight. Caroline did not dump me, okay?

Yes she did. Yes she did.

No she did not, all right?

Second of all, my name is Joseph, okay? Joseph.

Joseph... Joseph.

Come on.

Joe is a solid, real name.

-Let's say it together... -Joe.

"Joseph" is some social science asshole...

who copped out on going to Art School.

Joseph, let's face it. Your future is written.

You're going to scrape through college with your bullshit degree,

you're going to get a job at K-Mart...

You're going to claw your way up to manager...

You're going to marry a sweet but boring wife...

You're going to have two cute but boring children...

You're going to live in the burbs...

So what's the point?

-Go talk to her! -Now!

The one you were dreaming about last night.

She's right there. She's your salvation, right?

-Come on, Joe! -Come on, man!

Come on, baby. It's up to you.

-Do you have a second? -No.

Look, this isn't a come on or anything. I'm doing a survey

for my ethics class and I was wondering...

Okay.

Okay.

Yes.

All right. Let's say you're stranded on a desert island, okay?

And you've got to choose between two guys, okay?

-No, I'm not doing this. -No, wait. One guy is like him.

He's full of himself, he's loud, obnoxious, stupid, okay?

-Well, the other... -I'd pick him.

Would you give me a second? Just one, please.

While the other guy is caring.

I wouldn't pick the guy like you, if that's what you're trying to ask me.

A guy like him wouldn't have to use a bullshit question as a come-on.

He'd have enough balls to come up and ask me to dance.

I see.

He's crashing and burning.

So, would you like to dance?

No.

Just going to be over here looking for my ego.

Nice chatting with you.

Oh, no.

What happened, Joe?

All right. Check it out.

Watch and learn.

Go get 'em, Tiger.

Well, Joseph.

I'll bet you feel real stupid.

-Yeah, I do actually. Thank you. -What are friends for?

I'm going over to reload.

Joe Talbot?

What's up?

I just saw this really beautiful girl.

She knew my name and now she just disappeared.

What are you drinking?

Hi, it's Mom.

You left some of your school books here on Sunday.

Come pick them up.

I got another parking ticket for you in the mail.

But this one is for 38 dollars.

You know, now honey, they'd be cheaper if you paid them right away.

See you on Sunday for dinner?

I love you. Bye-bye.

Hey, Joe.

Don't forget that party tonight. Starts at nine.

You're going to be there, right? We're going to be looking for you.

Joe, I know you're there. Don't screen.

Pick up the phone. Pick up the phone. No, don't pick up the phone.

Just get your ass down here.

Girls are getting cold, beer's getting warm, and you're missing it.

I'm dreaming.

Don't be afraid.

Wait a second.

I saw you at the party.

There must be a God.

My window.

Listen, all right? This is a little freaky for me.

You're a very beautiful woman, but you're going to have to leave, okay?

I'm not into this, really.

Oh my God.

What the hell was that?

What the hell was that?

Oh my God, please don't shoot me, I didn't touch her, I swear!

Come with me or you're dead.

Move!

-We have to move fast. -Why's he after you?

He's not after me, he's after you!

Me?

Give me the keys. Give me the keys!

Okay, get in. Go in.

Okay, number one: Who were the goons, all right?

Number two: What's up with Mr. Ed from Hell outside my door?

It's some sort of a spacial rift.

The Castinian Dissonance could have caused it, but I don't know why.

Yeah, right. Spatial.

Would you make some fucking sense?

You are Joe Talbot, aren't you?

Yes.

Well, your life's in danger.

You just take me to the police, okay?

We'll make it their problem.

I think this one's out of their jurisdiction.

Look, why don't you just give me the keys?

Forget I mentioned the cops.

We'll call it even, huh?

No one's playing around here.

You want to stay alive,

then stick with me.

This shouldn't be here.

This definitely shouldn't be here.

A.T.?

A.T.?

Laura? You can stay for coffee if you promise not to talk.

I need your help.

Oops, you talked.

Goodbye.

If you'd just listen for a second.

I'm out of the help business.

I was sent by the Council and the Queen.

All right, that's it.

Get the hell out of here and take your boyfriend with you.

Did you say...?

I don't know what you're talking about, man. I just met this girl.

-I'm out of here... -No, not without introductions.

A.T., I want you to meet Joe Talbot.

Trust me.

That's not him.

So what's that?

You didn't touch it, did you?

Did you?

-Why? -Because they can home in on you.

You're supposed to know this stuff.

But who is "they"?

They followed me back to his home. That's all that happened.

-What are you up to? -Yeah, I'd like to know that, too.

Stay out of this.

-Where did you get that? -My father gave it to me.

You sure don't look like your dad.

I care.

I don't like it, but I guess we have a mission.

We better get going.

You're coming, too.

Can't do this without you.

I don't think so.

What? You got better things to do?

Yeah. Like living.

It's safer if you stay with us.

You might live long enough to learn something.

Just for the record, I think this is a bad idea.

-What's a bad idea? -Shut up!

-Are you guys spies or something? -Yeah, we're spies.