Ugly Betty

What do you two think you are, a pair of queens?

Well, I'm king around here, so don't forget it!

Oh, my gosh! I'm sorry. are you guys okay?

That was so great!

Oh, Justin! Your Stanley is perfect. Oh!

Betty, I'm not sure.

You may have put the "blah" in Blanche.

Well, you didn't exactly put the "stellar" in Stella.

Ooh, mean!

You are so getting into Lena Korvavinky's class!

I can feel it.

It's Lena Korvinka. How do you not know that?

She is only the most famous

living actress of our time.

I think it is so cool

that you get to audition for her.

Her classes are legendary. - I know!

She's probably seen it all.

I wonder if "a streetcar named desire"

is a little too obvious.

I may need to rethink this.

I'm so nervous for him. I hope he gets this.

I know. High school hasn't exactly

been a picnic for him.

Mm. That's why Bobby and I are gonna wait

until this whole thing is over

until we tell him about...

The baby.

Wait. You guys are gonna tell him together?

That sounds promising. - I know!

Okay, I'm ready to go.

Wait. wait, you guys are leaving already?

I thought that maybe you could stay, hang out,

And we could have dinner or something.

Oh, I'm sorry. I made dinner plans with Bobby.

Yeah. and I have to decide on my comedic monologue.

It's between Mauriat and one of Brad's

breakdowns from "the Rachel Zoe Project."

Well, that's too bad 'cause I made too much pasta,

And I was hoping you guys

would help me eat the leftovers.

Sorry, a.b. - All right.

Well, I guess I'm just used to

making enough for me and Matt.

Aw, you want me to cancel? I'll call Bobby.

No, no. Come on, don't be silly. Go!

It's not like I have nothing to do.

It's gonna be another cold one tomorrow,

so bundle up and watch out for the ice.

In other news, a woman in midtown was found dead

in her apartment yesterday after almost a month.

Sources say that

though the woman lived in the building for 12 years,

none of her more than 50 neighbors

really knew her or noticed her absence.

I saw her through the window once,

eating her pasta alone. Looked like she made too much.

How sad.

I guess the old saying is true--

You really can be alone in a crowd.

Hey, guys! I was just thinking, wouldn't it be fun

if the three of us walked to work together someday?

I mean, seeing as we do live

across the hall from each other and everything.

We live across the hall from each other?

Yeah. when I say, "don't go in the hall. It's there,"

That's what I mean.

Okay, so we're doing the mean thing.

I just think that it's weird

that I don't know anyone else in the building.

I mean, do either one of you

ever talk to anybody else?

Not directly, but we do leave nasty notes

on the bulletin board downstairs for some of them.

Synonymously, of course.

See, here's the problem

with living in an apartment complex.

People come home, they close their doors,

they shut out the rest of the world,

and no one takes any time

to even get to know their neighbors.

You should really do something about that, Betty.

You know what? I'm going to.

She's a real go-getter, isn't she?

If only she'd apply

some of that pluck to her chin hair.

See you later. - Good one.

Thank you.

Oh, and could you also make up some more media kits

when you get a chance?

I'm gonna need Marc for the rest of the day

to help organize the wild vest shoot. Marc.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. wait a second.

I can't spare Marc today.

Daniel, I am working

as both editor-in-chief and creative director.

Until we hire a senior fashion editor,

I have to have Marc available to me. Marc.

Marc, stay. Look, I'm sorry you're so overwhelmed,

but I need him, too. - To what, schedule your naps?

You know what? I've had just about enough out of you.

I've been more than kind in sharing Marc with you

Over the past few weeks, but that's it.

He is off-limits to you.

What? You can't cut me off from my own assistant.

He's not your assistant anymore. He's mine.

Let me get one thing through

that giant egg head of yours.

I will get Marc back. this is not over.

Hi! I'm Betty.

I just moved back into the building,

And I was wondering if maybe you--

Not interested.

Hi. Wanna come to a karaoke party in 5-g?

"I will hunt you down, 'o' magazine stealer."

"Stop letting your dog pee in the hallway, jackass."

That's not very nice.

Hey! Hey, could you let us in?

Thank you so much! - Thank you so much.

We were about to freeze out there.

Yeah, it looks like you were turning blue.

Oh, yeah.

Do you guys live in the building?

We're moving in today.

Yeah, in all the craziness,

we managed to lock ourselves out.

Oh! that's awful. Oh, I'm Betty, by the way.

Hi. Hey. I'm Gus, and--and that's Vickie.

You know what? I just so happen to be throwing

a neighborly karaoke party

in my apartment tomorrow night.

Come. You don't have to sing if you don't want to.

I mean, I will, but...

My god, how nice! Thank you!

Yeah! Great! See you tomorrow. - Okay, bye.

I wanna kill myself.

Wilhelmina and Daniel will not stop fighting over me.

This "menage a moi" has got to stop.

I hate being in the middle.

I mean, unless there's a Gyllenhaal involved.

Oh, this totally reminds of me

of when I was 12 and my parents separated.

I got so good at manipulating them.

They even bought me a chimp. I named him rainbow.

Ohh, that's so cute.

But then I got bored of him and left him in a cab.

Not as cute.

Oh, I just can't take much more of this bickering.

Aww, you poor little gay-bee.

You know, as the child of an almost-broken home,

I totally know how you feel.

I just got an amaze-balls idea.

Why don't you let me work

some of my manipulative magic

On mommy and daddy "mode"?

Actually, you know what? Go ahead.

But I can't hear about anything

or be involved in any way.

Besides, I already have my own plan in motion

for how to get myself out of this mess.

What is it? - It's top secret

Don't screw up whatever you're gonna do, okay?

Excuse me. What happened?

Our building got broken into.

A whole bunch of the apartments were robbed.

Look, they even stole our planter.

Oh, no! - Oh, yeah.

But a neighbor saw what was happening,

So he called the police,

and now they're scanning through security footage

so see if they can find a positive i.d.

Oh, good.

That's them!

They're the ones I saw running off with our planter.

Hey, who's the dink letting 'em in?

Wait a minute.

You're the dink!

I mean, how was I supposed to know

that they were burglars?

Oh, it's always the fresh-faced ones that get ya.

All I can say is,

it's a good thing

they didn't get as high as our floor.

they did.

Amanda didn't tell you? they stole her silver bag.

You mean the silver bag with the huge gold skull

That's either hideous or brilliant? - Yeah.

I told her I would buy her a new one, but...

He runs so funny.

I feel awful. I just wish there was a way

I could make it up to the building.

All of my neighbors hate me now.

Someone actually wrote the word "die"

in huge letters across the party invitation I posted.

You do the red-lining on these

since you have the assistant.

Wow. it's been a real joy

to have her back in the office.

Is there anything I can do to help?

Yeah, you can get me