Baywatch

MATT, WAKE UP!

GO AWAY. I GOT HOME LATE.

-AND NOW YOU'RE GETTING UP EARLY.

CJ, WHAT'S BOTHERING YOU?

- AT LEAST YOU COULD WEAR PAJAMA PANTS.

-THEY'RE JUST LIKE LIFEGUARD TRUNKS.

-THEY'RE NOT LIFEGUARD TRUNKS, THEY'RE UNDERWEAR.

UNDERWEAR IS SUPPOSED TO BE WORN UNDER OUTERWEAR.

PUT YOUR PANTS ON, PLEASE.

-IF IT MAKES YOU THAT UNCOMFORTABLE.

I AM NOT UNCOMFORTABLE.

IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING UNCOMFORTABLE.

IT'S ABOUT RESPECT FOR OUR RELATIONSHIP AS ROOMMATES,

AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SUMMER.

PUT THEM ON.

FINE.

IF YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR URGES.

-THE ONLY URGE I CAN'T CONTROL IS

THE URGE TO SLAP YOU FOR THE WAY YOU'VE BEEN

TREATING SUMMER LATELY.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I TREAT SUMMER BETTER THAN I'VE EVER TREATED ANYBODY.

OH YEAH?

WHO'S REBECCA?

REBECCA WHO?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

MATTHEW, HI. IT'S REBECCA.

I MISSED YOU.

OH, YEAH.

THAT REBECCA.

SHE'S MY BROKER.

-MATT, THE ONLY REASON YOU'RE LIVING WITH US

IS BECAUSE YOU'RE BROKE.

BROKE PEOPLE DON'T HAVE BROKERS.

WHO'S REBECCA?

SHE'S MY BROKER.

WHAT KIND OF BROKER?

SHE'S MY INVESTMENT BROKER.

-MEET ME FIRST THING IN THE MORNING

AND I'LL MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE.

THAT'S RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHERE.

-HOW IS SHE GOING TO MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE, MATT?

SEE YA.

SAY HI TO REBECCA THE BROKER.

I WILL!

BROKER.

-WOW, REBECCA, THIS BIKE IS AMAZING.

SO, WHAT'D YOU THINK?

-WELL, THERE'S NO WAY I CAN GO BACK

TO RIDING THIS, THAT'S FOR SURE.

-THE OWNER JUST PUT IN A NEW CRANK CAM,

SOLID LIFTERS, AND A AN S&S SHORTY CARB.

-SO WHY DOES HE WANT TO SELL IT?

-I DON'T KNOW, THE GUY'S GIRLFRIEND WANTS HIM

TO CLEAN UP HIS ACT OR SOMETHING.

-MAN, TALK ABOUT THE WRONG GIRLFRIEND.

SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

-I WANT TO GIVE YOU $5,000 AND BUY IT.

ALL RIGHT.

-BUT I DON'T HAVE $5,000 IN CASH.

-THE OWNER WOULD TAKE CHECKS; I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT.

NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I DON'T HAVE $,5000, PERIOD.

ALL RIGHT.

HE MIGHT BE WILLING TO NEGOTIATE.

MAKE ME AN OFFER.

-$2,200. OH!

-OKAY, FINE $3,000, BUT THAT'S IT.

THREE?

IN CASH, RIGHT NOW, YOU GOT IT ON YOU?

-NO, BUT I CAN GET IT TO YOU IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.

HM.

-LOOK, I HAD A BIKE JUST LIKE THIS.

BUT MY OLD MAN REPO'D IT AND I'M TIRED OF PEDDLING.

I'LL GET IT TO YOU IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.

SUNDAY NIGHT.

$3,000.

REBECCA, YOU SAID YOU'D MAKE MY DREAM COME TRUE.

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

ALL RIGHT.

-THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A HOT BIKE UNDERNEATH YA, HUH.

WELL, HERE HE COMES.

HERE HE COMES, GONNA CATCH THAT WAVE?

GONNA GET IT?

WATCH OUT!

OOH, THERE HE GOES.

OH, GOT A GREAT SHOT, GREAT SHOT.

-HEY, GARNER, I TWISTED MY KNEE.

GIVE ME A LITTLE HELP HERE.

CAN'T.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T?

-COME ON, THIS IS A DOCUMENTARY.

I CAN'T ALTER EVENTS, JUST RECORD IT FOR POSTERITY.

-YEAH, YOU WANT POSTERITY, RECORD THIS!

WHOA!

THE ONCE-PROUD WARRIOR ATTEMPTING TO

RETURN INTO COMBAT IN A QUEST

FOR ONE FINAL MOMENT OF GLORY.

WILL HE ONCE AGAIN BE KNOWN AS IRONMAN BUCHANNON?

OR WILL HE SINK BENEATH THE WAVES

LIKE A RUSTED OUT HULK OF A ONCE-PROUD SAILING SHIP?

OH, I LIKE THAT.

-COME ON, I NEED SOME HELP HERE, HUH.

WHO NOW ASKS FOR HELP

TO DO WHAT HE COULD ONCE DO ALONE.

BEFORE CELEBRATING TOO MANY BIRTHDAYS.

-WILL YOU GET OUT OF MY FACE WITH THAT THING!

OH, MITCH.

WHY ARE YOU TORTURING YOURSELF, HUH?

-SINCE MY BIRTHDAY FALLS RIGHT BEFORE

THE NATIONAL LIFESAVING CHAMPIONSHIPS--

OKAY, GOOD, KEEP GOING.

EVERYBODY THINKS I SHOULD ENTER

THE SENIOR DIVISION, BECAUSE I'M ELIGIBLE.

-WELL, I WANT TO PROVE THEM ALL WRONG

AND I'M GOING TO WIN THE OPEN IRONMAN COMPETITION.

OH, COME ON, MITCH,

THOSE GUYS ARE IN THEIR 20S.

THEY'RE IN THE BEST SHAPE OF THEIR LIVES.

-THAT'S WHY I GOTTA TRAIN HARDER.

ONE, TWO THREE--

OH, YEAH.

THIS IS GARNER ELLERBEE,

DOCUMENTING MITCH BUCHANNON'S QUEST TO RECAPTURE

HIS PAST GLORY.

SOME MAY CALL IT A MID-LIFE CRISIS.

I CALL IT A HEROIC DISPLAY OF INSPIRATION...

PERSPIRATION, AND DESPERATION.

WOO, YOU GO, BOY!

HELP! HELP ME!

HELP, HELP!

HELP ME, IT'S TOO HEAVY!

HELP ME! HELP!

-THIS IS ELLERBEE, CLEAR ALL CHANNELS.

I NEED EMERGENCY LIFEGUARD BACKUP FOR MITCH

OFF OF TOWER 15, NOW.

IT'S TOO HEAVY!

GRAB THE BOARD.

OKAY, OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, LIE FLAT ON YOUR STOMACH.

YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

FEELING BETTER?

-YEAH, YEAH. I FEEL A LOT BETTER, THANKS.

GOOD.

-I'M SORRY, THAT WAS MY DAD'S WETSUIT.

I LIKE MY CLOTHES BIG AND ROOMY.

-YEAH, WELL IT'S NOT A GOOD IDEA IN THE WATER.

LOOK, I'VE GOT TO ASK YOU A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS.

I HAVE TO FILL OUT THIS INCIDENT REPORT.

BASICALLY IT TELLS WHAT HAPPENED TODAY.

OKAY.

NAME. -DESTINY.

DESTINY. LAST NAME?

-JUST DESTINY. OH.

THAT'S AN UNUSUAL NAME.

-NOT IF IT WAS MEANT TO BE YOUR NAME.

WHAT'S YOURS?

MITCH, MITCH BUCHANNON.

WOW.

MITCH BUCHANNON SAVED MY LIFE.

UH-OH. WHAT?

-WHAT IS THAT THING WHEN SOMEONE SAVES YOUR LIFE?

IT'S LIKE, UH...

-JUST PART OF THE SERVICE WE PROVIDE HERE AT THE BEACH.

NO, NO, NO.

IT'S LIKE YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR ME NOW.

OR I'M RESPONSIBLE FOR YOU.

ONE OR THE OTHER.

SEE?

I'M YOUR DESTINY.

-YOU KNOW, YOU SWALLOWED A LOT OF WATER.

I SHOULD CHECK YOUR LUNGS.

WOULDN'T IT BE FUNNY IF, LIKE,

EVOLUTION FLIP-FLOPPED AND PEOPLE

DEVELOPED GILLS INSTEAD OF LUNGS?

YEAH.

-ALTHOUGH I GUESS IF THAT HAPPENED,

THEN YOU WOULDN'T HAVE A JOB AT THE BEACH,

BECAUSE THEN PEOPLE WOULDN'T LIKE, DROWN, YOU KNOW.

SO IT'S BETTER THIS WAY.

FOR YOU, I MEAN, YOU KNOW.