I May Destroy You

This programme contains some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting,

strong language and scenes of a sexual nature

I don't think she's enjoying this.

I mean, it's not on the list.

Does that mean it's not really self-care if it's not on the list?

It's basically painting, and painting's on the list.

Kwame. What?

Look, I love that you're getting your inner Banksy on, yeah,

but we're not here for ourselves, we're here for Arabella.

Seems fine to me. She seems fine?

If she's fine, then why is she on her phone?

I dunno, maybe someone called her.

Do you know what, let me break this shit down to you.

You know how our nervous systems are like electric systems?

You know, like when your laptop breaks down and most things

shut down to, like, basic function and mode?

So, what, you need to borrow my laptop, or...? No.

I'm saying our nervous systems also shut down to safety mode

when it's overloaded with too much stimulation, too much danger.

#Trauma, #double-click for double rapist shit

that she's been through.

So, no, she's not fine. She's vacant.

She's empty, she's a shell of herself, she's dying inside,

but if you aren't looking for it, you ain't going to see it.

OK...

Any suggestions?

For what? For looking after our friend.

What you doin'?

The, uh, survivors group thing.

OK, cool. Kwame, get ready, let's go.

Uh, it's for survivors only, so... Is it? Yeah.

What's the name of this group? I don't think it has a name.

So how did you find it? On socials, Facebook, I think.

OK.

What? Is it, like, you know?

What? Kosher. Halal.

What? You need to be around people who affirm you.

OK, just be careful and just... I am.

Do careful people meet with strangers

from social networking apps?

I mean, the king of Grindr here would say yes, but I propose no.

It's Theo's group.

Who? Theo. Theodora.

Theodora from school? Yeah.

She has what?!

A support group.

And where does she host that? In a halfway house?

I like her. We've been messaging. It's nice. Bella.

The poster girl for Childline can't help anyone in trauma.

As your friend, I can't let you go.

Hm. Stop being silly.

My name is Theo Lee Daniels.

I made this support group

because I wanted people who've been through sexual exploitation

of any kind to find each other, to bring wellbeing and

to empower one another in a safe, abuse and oppression-free space.

I hate abusers.

I think that abuse, grooming, assault,

domestic violence are the most vile, abhorrent qualities of our species.

I've been abused, I've been exploited.

One in every two women have

and 89% of trials end in exoneration

so I created this group for survivors to talk,

to share common experiences

and hopefully encourage one another.

I know that I sound like a right icy bitch,

but I'm lovely, I promise.

So the floor is open, it's a conversation.

Please don't name anybody.

You never know, the creep in the office

could be somebody's brother, so...

..in class we call every man Bob and every woman Barbara.

The other day I was at a work party and Bob, co-worker,

puts his hand on my knee.

But really subtle, like.

Mid conversation, we're just chatting away, not even flirting

and he puts it there, and I felt weird.

It's when they put their hand just on the small of your back.

Does anyone report it?

They ask you what happened.

Then you try to define what happened.

I hear myself out loud and start undermining myself. Yeah.

Cos belittling your problems

makes their lives a lot easier, doesn't it?

And these people get paid. Exactly.

And really, their jobs ain't supposed to be simple,

so how dare they cut corners?

Fucking pricks.

I had a not great experience -

a drug-facilitated sexual assault -

and I was trying to get back on track

and then someone from my workplace sexually assaulted me.

Someone said it was my fault

and maybe it was

because twice, you know.

I'm here to learn how to avoid being raped.

There must be some way

cos, if there isn't, that means that any time

someone could just drag me into a bush

and it would happen all over again. And I just...

I don't know what kind of...

..world that would be.

It's the kind of world where there are places like this

that you can come and talk about it, and know that you're not alone.

And that is the thing to focus on, OK? You are not alone.

See you next week. See you later. Bye.

See you later.

Bye! Have a great week. Thank you. See you next time.

Thank you. Bye.

You are so fucking great.

So are you, mate.

You're fucking awesome.

There you go. Thanks, babe.

Bye, babe. Bye. See you later. See you.

How you doing?

Yeah.

I like you so much more now we're wrinkly and fucked.

I, uh... Any time you need me, yeah.

I wish I got to know you more in school.

Nah! We should start now.

Yeah.

Theo.

Theo.

Theo. What?

Who's taking me to school?

"Who's taking me?" What are you, the fucking queen?

What's in your hand? It's got anything to do with you.

"Nothing" to do with you. It's got nothing to do with you.

I took this. It's Daddy's birthday.

Martin's birthday, yeah. Did you get him a present? No.

Why don't we use this as a present? Yeah? Yeah.

Go and get me my school stuff, then. Go on!

Someone's got to take the monster to school.

# Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday, dear Martin...

Daddy.

# Happy birthday, dear Daddy

# Happy birthday to you. #

Thank you.

Whoa!

Happy birthday, Martin.

Thanks. You remembered.

I'm off.

You haven't eaten. Yeah, I'm late.

Are you sure you're even going to make it?

You must be tired, being out all night.

You're never going to fool me.

I swear to God, Mum, your insanity

is actually fucking up my mornings now.

I went bed, I slept and then I woke up in my bed.

If I disappeared to have a fucking shit, I'm sorry.

You were wearing your clothes though. What?

You changed your clothes.

Yes, I did change my clothes. Course I did.

I'm not going to wear my PJs to school, am I?

Jack, in fact, in fact, what did we do this morning?

Did you see me in PJs this morning?

Answer me yes or no so the idiot in the room understands.

Did you see me in my PJs? Yeah.

And then did you help me change out of my PJs into my uniform? Yeah.

Passed me my tie, didn't you? Yeah.

Done. Sort yourself out, Mum. Get some help.

I'll take you tomorrow, yeah, yeah?

Martin, happy birthday.

You're wild, man, I love it.

Ooh, whoa, whoa!

What you doing?

Stop.

Stop.

Ryan.

What? Well, delete it.

I won't share it, it's just for me.

All right, fine. Are you dumb?

What? You said delete it.

You're literally dumb. I'm going to delete it.

I swear to God. Are you still trying?

Delete my number, yeah? I never saved it.

Like I'm the only guy trying to make an archive in these streets.

Coming at me like some psycho.

What did he give you?

Is that how it works? What?

He never said that. Who?

He just said you liked that kind of shit. Who?

See, that's what I'm saying, probably bare man done it

and you want to war me like... But Dylan didn't try and take pictures.

So how do you know I was talking about Dylan then?

I've seen it, so don't try it.

I didn't take any good ones anyway.

They're fucking shit.

Your face ain't even in 'em.

What if I...

..gave you a tenner?

20?

30 quid.

Dylan, prick.

Well, how much have you got?

That's 11...

£11.50. And what about in there?

That's all I've got. Are you sure?