Billu Barber (Billu) (बिल्लू)

'To the Civil Officer, Small-Scale Industries, Government Office.'

'l am Bilas Pardesi, alias Billu.'

'Budbuda village, Kamal Chowk, Lala Lajpat Rai Road.'

'Have you seen Billu Hair Salon there?'

'l'm grateful if you've seen it. It earns me my livelihood.'

'And l'm writing this Ietter about the same.'

'The condition of my salon resembles government schemes.'

'The present is miserable and the future is bleak.'

'The only possessions l have are..'

'..a broken chair which my children call a swing.'

'Someday it will break and cause my clients a back ache.'

'A useless scissors which doesn't cut anything.'

'A comb which resembles the jaws of the old.'

'A tooth here and a tooth there.'

'l am applying for a loan for new supplies to your office.'

'You're probably thinking, why didn't l personally.'

'l am counting flies sitting on the broken bench outside.'

'l've heard government files are not touched..'

'..unless someone puts some weight behind them.'

'And l'm inexperienced in matters of bribery.'

'What if things go wrong?'

'So l am asking in writing.'

'Will you take bribe?'

'lf you do accept bribes, then..

..l'd like you to know that l have no money.'

'lf you don't, then call me inside.'

'Your prospective debtor, Billu.'

Yes, sir?

A nut case is sitting outside. Send him in.

Hello, Mr. Pandit. Shall l come in?

Welcome. Welcome. Come in.

Raja Harishchandra. Mahatma Gandhi. Dharamraj.

How can they come? They are all dead.

l've come alone.

l'm giving you so much respect..

..because those noble Men ftre nO MOre..

and l have the honour of meeting you.

You've asked a government officer directly..

..whether he will take a bribe.

Wonderful! Well done!

An idealist like you is worth respecting..

..but not worth sanctioning a loan to.

No, if the sentence regarding the bribe hurt you..

..l will take it back.

ls it a kid's ball that you throw back and forth?

Go away, Mr. Mahatma. You will not get the loan.

Mr. Pandit, give me something for that revolving chair.

You can knock on many doors, but you'll not get a loan.

Thank you. - What for?

Never directly ask a government officer..

..whether he'd take bribe.

You've taught me this lesson.

Out! - What?

Out!

Why are you sitting outside? Is there a power-cut?

That's why we've lit an oil-lamp.

The power company disconnected the electricity.

Ok. Doesn't matter. It's good.

Famous people like Mahatma Gandhi and Ambedkar..

..used to study at night with the help of an oil-lamp.

What did they do during the day?

They used to go to school.

They used to help their parents with the household chores.

Yes, Dad. Abraham Lincoln used to study under street-lights. - Yes.

l'll study under street-lights from tomorrow.

Why can't you understand? Gaalu! - Gungi!

Hey, where is your mom?

She's gone to get cooking-oil!

Stupid! How can you say that about your mom?

She has really gone to get cooking-oil. - Yes.

She has gone to aunt Meena's, our neighbour.

Didn't you get the wheat?

The market was closed by the time l left the salon.

Tell me the truth. There were no clients at the salon today, isn't it?

No, there were. l paid rent for the house.

Happy? - Very happy!

Mom, why don't you give him the other good news? - Which one?

The principal has called you to school. - Why?

Because there is good news.

Madam principal! Hello.

Bindiya told me if the school fees are not paid today..

..you will ask them to leave school.

Outside! The office is outside. Pay the fees outside. Go.

l didn't bring the fees.

Have you brought your memory with you?

Last time you begged me, so l gave you my word.

l have kept my word.

You didn't pay the fees for this month..

..so l've asked your children to leave.

But how will that help?

We'll see. We'll see how it helps. We'll see.

lf you remove the children from school, then two things may happen.

The school fees won't be paid..

..as l can't arrange so much money..

..and secondly, the children will Iose out on their education.

You can stop one of these things from happening.

Which one? - The children's education.

What?

l swear l've broken every piggy-bank in my house.

And l was only able to retrieve one rupee.

l set out to sell our goat, but my wife got very angry.

Ask the goat to teach your children.

Should l send the goat here?

You'll teach the goat and then the goat will teach my children.

But then you'll ask for the goat's fees.

Are you trying to fool me?

Who started it?

Go away! Get out! Get out!

''She's a little dusky and a little crazy.''

You came to school with an attitude that suggested..

..you had lots of money.

And that you'd definitely pay the fees.

Didn't l tell you? l'll arrange something soon.

l'm happy. l won't have to listen to your boring lectures..

..of standing first in class.

But l've bought all the school books for you.

What if you were removed from school?

You'd peep through the class window, listen and learn.

They why should we go to school? We can also study at home.

Mom won't have a back ache from all those mile-long walks to school.

But you have to go to school to give the exams.

Don't you want to be someone when you grow up? You keep quiet.

Budbuda's here. Get down quickly.

Those headed to Aaramnagar, Durgapaur, get in quick.

Come fast. Come on. Come on.

Why do you have to sit in front of my shop every morning?

We are playing Flash.

Take today for example.

Dharmendra lost to me. He'll give me Rs.10 million.

Where will he get it from?

Not me. He owes me the money.

lt all comes to Rs.100 million.

You think of millions sitting on the road..

..but you don't have a single penny in your pocket.

At least it gladdens our souls.

You earn no money all day, so you get angry.

Couldn't you find any other place to play?

There's no better place than this. No one comes here.

There is no crowd here and no one stops you.

We can play peacefully here.

Oh, God, this peace brings bad luck for me.

Let this oil-lamp illuminate you today.

Tomorrow there will be no oil and l can't guarantee it.

l'm lighting this last wick. After this, it is up to you.

He won't help you. There's such a big obstacle right in front of you.

Modern Madan!

Ever since Modern Madan's salon has opened..

..Billu's salon has got no business. - Yes.

These glamorous times.

Madan has decked-up his salon like Rakhi Sawant.

And yours looks like Nirupa Roy.

Every hair that grows in Budbuda is trimmed in that salon.

Billu, do something about it.

Mad guy!

Mind your tongue.

l called the next guy.

So many clients are sitting here. l don't have time to abuse you.

Come on.

Look at this.

Old rate. New rate.

Hair cutting rate has been reduced to Rs.10 from Rs.15?

What's this new trick of Billu's?

Are these Billu's reduced rates or..

..what unaccounted mangoes are sold for?

Turn-off the engine. Don't waste precious fuel!

That's a total of Rs.2000. That's Rs.2475.

What's this fool doing here? Call him.

Billu! Come here. Mr. Doomchand is calling you.

How many times have l told you? It's Daamchand.

Can't you understand?

What do l do, Master? l didn't name you, so.

This evening itself, write 101 times, Daamchand! Daamchand!

lf you still can't remember it, don't come to work.

Hello. - Hello.

Since your hair-cutting salon is in ruin..

..will you cut wood at my mill?

No! No!

l wanted to get a new chair made, so.. - So times have changed?

The business is good?

No, Master. You need to plan things in life.

lf l know how much it would cost to make the chair..

..l would start saving money for it.

Don't you want to get the chair made now? You don't have any money?

No, l don't. l don't want to get it made now.

l just have a rupee now.

Then why did you bother me unnecessarily?

Why did you get those heavy logs moved?

Do you think l'm a fool?

Look, it maybe a coincidence.

All the businesses that are prospering have taken a loan from me.

You didn't, so your business is not doing well.

Don't worry. Take cash.

Forget the actual amount and keep paying interest.

l haven't taken any yet. Why would l do it now?

Paying you interest will be harmful to me.

Let it be. - Then why are you still standing here?

Throw him out! - Come on! Come on!

Don't do anything to me. l'm leaving.

Leave it here. - Give it to me. Give me the log.

Give me the log! Get going! Get going!