Rick and Morty

Uhh, I'm so nervous!

It's been so long, no one even makes fun of me

for being unemployed anymore.

Aw. We can make fun of you if you want, sweetie.

You could also take one of these.

It's a worry worm.

It eats your worries and dies out in a couple hours.

I'm on one right now. Super chill.

I'm not taking breakfast drugs!

We doing breakfast drugs?

I'm just dropping Morty off. Deal me in.

Nobody's dealer-ing anyone.

Seriously, guys, this interview is important to me!

Wow! Good luck, Dad!

Didn't -- Didn't realize you were still trying.

Yeah. Why?

No one's on your ass to contribute a thing.

Ah, if you're trying to neg me into taking a worm,

you've succeeded.

Negging works.

See you all in a week! Mnh.

I'm so excited!

Guh-uh, this is what it feels like to have friends?

Wouldn't know. Pick you up on Sunday?

See you then!

-Snowball! -Morty!

Oh, my God! I missed you so much!

Me too, Morty. Me too.

I...was there when that happened.

Really cool!

Whoa! They got a monorail, too?!

Proud of my dog. He built this place, you know.

UGG! Glugg UGG!

Agh! Shit! What the fuck?

Paul! Come! Up! Don't mess with him.

We don't know if he's had his shots.

Morty. Oh, I see you've met a mup.

No big deal.

Just humanoid creatures we bred to be pets.

Hopefully that doesn't, heh, freak you out too much.

Oh. Nope. I've seen a lot of stuff.

Good, because it would be weird

if you were offended by it, heh,

since you had pets first.

Ugh! Is there anything else we could visit or talk about?

Yes. Good. Good. Of course.

BooBoo, push the Sniff Conference.

I've got a lot to show my old friend.

That's the college of New Dog City.

And there is our mech-suit warehouse.

We've updated your grandpa's designs.

Cool!

I know you're probably distracted by the mups.

Sadly, they're all I can see now.

Okay, m-maybe we should just chill at your place.

You know? Ch-Chill? Hang?

Water bowl, sir?

It is our finest hose water.

Ohh! It's shaped like a little dog bowl.

Tha-- Hey. That's -- That's fun.

Yes, this is good.

We will hang by the pool and reminisce about old times.

No politics.

We got company!

God damn it!

-Haaaa! -Take, take!

Jesus Christ!

-Take, take, take! -Take, take, take!

You said we could keep them out!

We're trying, sir!

The Mancors, they're adapting!

So we adapt harder, General.

You're making my friend uncomfortable.

Okay. Morty...

I think you're getting the wrong impression.

You're seeing a lot of physical deformity

and selective breeding,

and your mind is going to all kinds of places.

I mean, it's more that this wasn't quite the vacation I --

Titus, take Morty to the mup facility, mm?

Show him how loved they are.

Hey, buddy!

Okay. Y-You don't have to crouch.

Wow, and it says here under Other Experience:

"jumped dimensions."

What was that like?

Well, you see some things, Bob,

but at the end of the day,

you realize we're all pretty much the same.

That's the kind of experience I want to bring to the team.

Incredible.

So can I ask?

Any big fish you're trying to take down?

Well, Jerry, I don't normally talk clients during interviews,

but, God, I'm just loving this laid-back attitude!

Nipslip Vodka.

If we can convince them to hire us,

we'd double our revenue.

Ahh.

I mean, it's right there, Bob.

It's screaming at ya.

What? I-I-I don't see it.

Drink.

Yes. Yes! I love it!

I love it! So simple. So great!

Mm. These things come to me.

Hey. You free tonight?

We're having dinner with their CEO.

They need to hear this, Jerry,

and they need to hear it from someone as confident as you.

-Honey, I'm home. -Jerry?

Prospects are good. Meeting the client for dinner.

Oh. Uh, that's great.

Why did you park on the lawn?

Jesus. How many of these did you take?

The first worm helped, so I took a couple more. No biggie.

What's up? Jerry O.D. on worms?

I told him to take one!

Holy shit!

Jerry, you are teeming!

I-I guess you had enough anxiety

to fuel a worm breeding frenzy.

That's a bad thing, right?

It's a new thing. I-I gotta admit,

I don't know much about the worm business.

I'm sure my worm dealer has a fix.

J-Man's gonna pass on all this.

Honey, you're teeming!

Alright. But let's wrap this quick.

Big night ahead.

No more giving Jerry drugs.

Loud and clear.

You like that?

We call it a mup-a-cino!

Mmm! Creamy!

Biscuit, this is Emperor Snowball's "Morty."

As you can see, Morty,

it's all totally fine.

I'm kind of getting the impression

that you're all sort of ashamed of this stuff.

Ashamed? He seems unconvinced.

I'll play the video.

And thanks to new breakthroughs

in cruelty-free Mup technology,

you can further customize your new best friend

with our drag-and-drop display.

Hahaha! And the mups like it!

Non-genetic modifications can also be made

once your mup is born,

and once the stitch is healed,

your new friend is ready to join the family.

Super normal!

And if you think it's weird, you're weird.

Brought you a friiiend!

That's a happy wheeze!

Aww. He thinks they're inside the TV.

Play him the video again!

Morty? Oh. Hey -- Hey, pal.

Glad I caught you, actually.

I-I'm just gonna take off.

Got some homework I forgot about. Uh...

-Great seeing you, though. -Right.

So you're going to cancel me?

What? No.

So you're not gonna run

and tell your grandfather I'm doing eugenics?

You're projecting so much specific shit onto me!

You think I'm racist.

Listen, I came here as your friend.

That's how I wanna leave.

Okay. Just had a lot planned.

Didn't even get to see our giant sprinkler.

Next time. O-Okay?

Okay...

Please don't try to kill me. Please don't try to kill me.

Please don't try to kill me.

Oh, shit!

God damn it!

-Oh, God! -On the ground! Down! Down!

Get out of the road, you dumb mup!

Oh...no...

Oh, fuck me!

-Take, take, take, take! -Take, take, take, take!

Wait! Maybe they can't see us if we don't move!

Never mind! Run!

Take-take?

Ugh. Please don't take me to join some kind of rebellion.

Yah. Take-take.

Aww, man!

Uh, hello? Sweet Marie?

Brought the whole family, huh?

We're cool.

Yeah, we're... ice cold.

As you can see, my idiot kinda-husband

took too many Flaxar worms,

and they are now reproducing inside him.

Cha-ching! You want to go 60/40?

We're trying to fix him, not get into the worm business.

Well, hold on. Who's getting that 60?

Dad, we are not letting this woman harvest Jerry for worms!