Adult Beginners

Hi, I'm Jake Winton.

If you're receiving this video, it means that you have invested in MINDS I.

It also means that we have raised $2.5 million

to start production on the sickest piece

of wearable technology on the market today.

It's also much more affordable than any of our competitors.

I'm not gonna name any names, but I think you know who you are.

I'm telling you, there is no other product

on the market today that is as comprehensive, easy to use,

and fucking cool as MINDS I.

Wired Magazine, TechCrunch,

and a whole mess of other media agree.

Look, I'm not an inventor. I'm an investor.

All of my money is in this product.

I know a good thing when I see it,

and I want you guys to see it all, so thank you.

And you're welcome.

Out of bed in the morning light

The sun is rising closing out the night

Off the coast making our way out of the harbor

Gersh, congrats, her dad's out of jail.

Love the Windsor.

Chatakov, thank you for the pork bun rack.

Sam, you're not on the list, you can't be here.

Hey, dude, take off the braided belt. No bullshit in my house, okay?

- It's Hudson's apartment. - Do what he says, dick.

- Dick. - You're gonna kill it, Dick.

We're in for another 75K. This launch is gonna be huge.

When I look around this room, I see so many people

that I love... for their money.

But this is where I say something that I really mean.

I really want to thank you guys all for being here

and investing your money and your time

and your trust into MINDS I.

You are all gonna be so much more interesting to talk to

at a dinner party a week from now,

and you are gonna have so much more money on paper.

- Whoo! - To MINDS I.

Not bad.

Now, please, everybody enjoy their champagne.

It's filled with rufies, so we're gonna have

a good fucking time tonight.

Oh, my God, you guys, that is so hot.

Mmm, yeah, it is.

Who wants a cup of coffee?

Mmm... I do. Yes.

Hey, lawyer man, tell me you're bringing by more demos.

People want their eyes to get fucked by technology.

Hudson, please.

They're the manufacturer.

What do you mean, they can't manufacture the part?

No, no, fuck.

Look, it's China, it's a big-ass country.

We'll just find someone else to make the part, okay?

We just need to keep this quiet and keep the launch smooth.

You're reading this off of TechCrunch, aren't you?

Jesus Christ. It's already out.

'Cause I know they'll get us by

Soon enough we'll be on our own

You guys are gonna leave me in here?

We'll be on our own We'll be on our own

We'll be on our

B dog.

What, did you have your fucking mom do the production research?

My mom's dead.

- Right. - But we're gonna find

a new manufacturer and make this right.

Fuck you, fuck head.

Already on the phone, I love it.

Yeah, no, I'm on my way home. He... he lost all the money.

See you, man.

What time is it?

We are gonna watch the sun rise every day together, dude,

until your soul is healed.

Oh, I can't stay here.

Tickets.

Get your tickets out, please.

I'm sorry, I forget where...

I put it. There it is.

Going backwards makes a lot of people nauseous.

Yeah, I don't get nauseous, man.

New Rochelle. Be there in no time.

Hey, man, where's my money? I trusted you, give me a call...

Hey, great party. Way to fuck up my life.

Stop texting Kat, okay? She broke up with you, dude.

The end, she's done.

Hey, Jake, my kids aren't going to camp

this summer. Thanks, buddy.

I just wanted to let you know

that you probably shouldn't come to the reunion this weekend.

You better find another fucking manufacturer...

Hey, Jake, I want you to tell my wife that she's probably

gonna have to get a second job. I changed your name

in my phone to "life ruiner."

Jake, don't come to my birthday party next week.

I wanted to leave you a voice mail

so you could hear in my voice

how disappointed and angry and pissed I am!

Hey.

It's Jake, your brother. I left you messages.

Well, I had no idea...

What are you doing here? Hi.

Do you not answer your phone anymore?

I know, yeah, it's basically impossible for me to talk on the phone.

Hi... come in, hi.

- Hi. - Ugh.

Whoa. You all right?

No, it's good. I'm good, I'm fine.

I'm pregnant.

Really? Wasn't Teddy born, like, yesterday?

He's three.

He is?

And there's another one in there?

There's like nothing going on with this belly.

Sorry, I just... I don't like people touching it.

But you can touch it.

No, it's fine, I don't need to touch anything.

So how pregnant are you?

13 weeks.

Wow.

Why aren't you wearing your glasses?

I got Lasik.

You had surgery?

You don't have surgery without telling people.

I could have come in for that. When did you do it?

I don't know. Last year.

Wow.

Your eyes look kind of buggy.

Yeah, that's what I was going for.

Maybe you should check your thyroid.

You should check your thyroid.

Sorry, this is Teddy's wake of destruction.

Just step over that turtle, and have a seat.

Where is Teddy? Teddy!

He's actually at daycare, and I have a early meeting,

so can you stay for dinner?

Yeah. Is it cool if I crash here?

Tonight? Sure.

Oh, don't sit there. Sorry, that's where

Teddy puts his leaf babies to sleep.

Oh, that's where his leaf babies sleep, of course.

That makes perfect sense.

So, how long do you need to stay?

For a couple nights.

That's a big bag.

Yeah, well, I couldn't cram everything into a little bag

when my entire world imploded upon itself.

You don't seem very focused.

Huh? I'm focused.

I'm focused on you and on folding this laundry

and on not being late. What is going on?

Well, you can basically take the last 3 years of my life

and light them on fire. Company's fucked.

My girlfriend dumped me. People hate me.

Oh. Did you, uh, lose a lot of money?

Oh, yeah, no, I lost, uh, all of my money and then some,

and then I lost a lot of other people's money,

which feels surprisingly terrible.

Dude, can you just take the day off?

I can't. I-I've been out a lot lately

and my principal is tracking my level of commitment, so...

Whatever.

You're gonna be fine, Jake.

Fuck those people. I'm done with the city.

Your shirt's buttoned wrong.

Oh. Shit. Thanks.

So, if it's a couple of months, Is that okay? 3 months?

Jesus, 3 months?

I'm sorry I didn't schedule my life falling apart better for you.

That's not what I'm saying. You just...

You show up here with your big bag,

and you haven't been out here for at least a year.

I was here for Teddy's birthday.

We invited you and you didn't come.

Well, I wanted to be there, okay?

That counts for something.

- I have to talk to Danny. - Like ask him permission?

Like have a conversation where I ask him

how he feels about you living with us for 3 months

because he's my husband.

Can you answer me as to why there are

so many new sconces around the house?

We're trying to sell the house.

Could you maybe not sell our childhood home right now?

Please?

I'm really sorry, Jake. Look, just...

Just hang out, and eat whatever you want,

and I'll be home tonight and we can all have dinner.

Okay.

It's freezing in this house.

Can you get me a sweatshirt, please?

Ah! Fuck you, you pressed wood piece of shit.

Oh, look who it is.

Good nap?

Yeah, I forgot where I was.

You were in my bed with your shoes on.

- Uh... - It's okay.

Hey, sorry to hear about, you know, everything.

Oh, no worries.

So you gonna replace that door with more sconces?