She-Hulk: Attorney at Law

Your first case is the parole of Emil Blonsky.

Also known as Abomination.

Jennifer Walters. Namaste.

Previously on She-Hulk...

The man you see before you is not the same Emil Blonsky.

He plans to open a meditation retreat.

We hereby grant Mr. Blonsky's release on parole, effective immediately.

Mr. Blonsky is prohibited from turning into Abomination

and is ordered to wear an inhibitor in perpetuity.

I'm Josh.

Jen.

My plan was to strike up a normal conversation with a beautiful woman.

She-Hulk is amazing.

I just wanted to be amazing tonight.

I don't know. I think you're pretty great.

- Some of these are death threats. - Best thing to do is ignore it.

Just let her live her life.

- Bye. - I'll text you.

The client's insurance policy covers acts of God.

Okay. Good night.

Sometimes in life, you just gotta go for what you want.

And you are what I want.

Jen!

You didn't tell me you were nominated for Female Lawyer of The Year.

Does this mean we get to go to a gala?

Hello? Oh, oh, are you going down a rabbit hole on that Intelligencia site?

What? No.

I don't care what a bunch of losers say about me online.

Can't even say it to my face 'cause they know they'd get Hulk-smashed.

- No, I'm waiting for a text from Josh. - What? Okay. That's enough for you.

You need to set a limit so you stop checking that.

- What about just hourly? - No.

It's just the first 12 hours after you sleep with someone for the first time.

It just feels icky.

You just gotta coast through it without doing anything stupid.

Why can't he just text me back? Why is that so hard?

There's no reason nowadays to not respond to a text.

He could be in a meeting or at the movies.

There's weddings, funerals, job interviews, silent retreats.

I hope he's at all of those today.

Hello?

Jennifer Walters.

Chuck Donelan.

Emil Blonsky's parole officer.

Chuck? How are you?

Um... I can't imagine you calling me on a Sunday is good news.

Got that right.

We got a malfunction alert on Blonsky's inhibitor.

Oh, did he turn into The Abomination?

We don't know,

so I gotta go up to that wackadoo ranch of his.

Okay. Well, I'll check in with him.

Well, you have danced right on over to why I called.

We don't have the resources for a squad of uniforms to go with me,

so I was hoping you'd meet me there.

Just in case, you know...

In case The Abomination decides not to cooperate.

Yeah. My chances of staying out of the ICU would be much greater

- if I had a Hulk with me. - Mmm-hmm.

I'm not interrupting your plans, am I?

No. Not at all. Nope. I will see you there.

Great, 'cause the place is full of weirdos and I don't wanna be...

Hey, Jen! Jen, Jen. Wait! Wait, wait, wait. Jen, wait for me!

Hey, Jen.

Thanks, again, for doing this.

Yeah, I mean, if he's violated his parole,

his lawyer should be here.

- Yeah. - All right.

- No, Jen! Jen! - Are you here? Blonsky!

You're honking your horn at a ten-foot-tall lizard monster.

So, maybe, put on your green suit.

- Put on my green suit? - Yeah.

Get big, Jolly Green yourself?

- What do you call it? - Hulking out.

Okay. Good. Whatever. Then, would you? Please?

It's definitely malfunctioning.

I don't know why.

Maybe you might've jostled it or...

Come to think of it, I did get a jolt from an electric fence earlier,

but it was worth it because my favorite chicken,

Princess Silk Feather, was stuck.

- Your favorite chicken? - Yeah.

- Favorite chicken. - Great.

Well, I have recalibrated your inhibitor and she's good to go.

So, stay away from the electric fence, maybe?

Then I won't have to make any more scary trips up here.

Not that I don't like coming here.

- No. - I just...

Yeah, come back any time.

He's always in such a hurry to leave.

Well, he thought he was here to face The Abomination.

What about you then, Jen?

Um, I thought you worked hard to get out of prison

and you'd be really dumb to go back in.

Aye, true that.

Sorry. I thought I heard a ding.

I've already wasted half a Sunday on this expedition, so I'm gonna get moving.

Oh, my God!

Ah! Hey! What the hell?

Wait.

What the hell is going on?

It's just two men working through their resentments

in a safe environment, Jen.

Sorry. It's my fault.

You know what? Apologize to my Prius Prime with money.

I will apologize to your Prius, if that'll make you feel better.

Brother Blonsky taught me a lot about taking responsibility for my anger.

Man-Bull.

A weird lab experiment. Don't ask.

And I am El Águila.

And before you make assumptions, no, I am not a matador.

That'd make the two of us fighting pretty cliché, no?

Working through identity issues here.

- I don't have issues. - All right.

I know exactly who I am.

I am a swashbuckler.

He says that like it's an occupation.

Waving a sword around isn't a job unless you're a matador.

You see, to Man-Bull, El Águila represents every person who's tried to, you know,

stab him in the, you know, for being "an affront to nature."

Of which there are many.

- So many. - Yeah.

This is so much unnecessary back story

to tell to someone whose car you just destroyed.

I can't drive this. How am I supposed to go home?

You know, sometimes life presents a teacher

when there's a lesson to be learned.

Jen, think of this totally knackered Prius Prime as your teacher.

Um, that was nothing.

You just said nothing in response

- to a very straightforward question. - Yeah.

Man-Bull? Give us a push to the garage, would you?

Do I look like a mechanic? My name is Man-Bull.

Not Mechanical-Bull.

Wow. How long have you been waiting to say that?

- That felt very forced. - You, too?

I think it's fantastic news that the tow truck won't get here

until later today.

How is that fantastic news?

Well, it means that you can spend some time here.

You know, relax.

Is there no cell reception here?

No. Okay, so, over there is the Wood Lodge

where I offer private spiritual consultation

and life-coaching.

It's exclusive to our Platinum Circle members.

- Hi, Princess. So cute. - Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

- You got a text. - Did I?

- Yeah. - Where? Very funny.

In our ceremonial sweat yurt,

we integrate the past and the present into one being.

So, what do you say? Pick you up in 20?

I'm not sweating it out in a yurt today.

I need to get some work done.

So, if you could get me a desk and some Wi-Fi.

It's a bit of a hard ask, I'm afraid, on the Wi-Fi front.

We don't carry it as a policy.

You know, distractions from the outside and all that.

And you have no reception anywhere, either.

This isn't how I want to spend my day.

Maybe it's how you need to spend your day.

I'm gonna find a signal.

Clearly, you're not in a teachable mood right now

and I do respect that. So...

I'm around if you need me.

Oh, hell, yes.

Jen! You remember El Águila and Man-Bull?

- Uh-huh. - This is Porcupine. He's a porcupine.

And Saracen thinks he's a vampire.

Wow, this is quite a group.

- You're welcome to join. - I'll pass.

I'm just gonna work over here in the one square meter

of this property that actually has reception.

Okay.

Last session, we really explored Alejandro's struggles with his identity.

Just because I am Spanish and I have a flair for the style,

people constantly assume that I am a matador.

It's dehumanizing.

Spanish is a language, not a nationality, so...

You've never heard of Spain?

It's not your fault, but those attributes make me

see you as a matador.

And, well, that's triggering for me.

I did do some light matadoring in college.

Oh, my God! Dude, what?

We do have to guard against codependency here.

- We are not codependents. - Interesting.

What do you think, Man-Bull?

Our relationship...

I'm asking Man-Bull.

I'd like to say something.

Great.

Saracen.

They have been spending a lot of time together.

I'm feeling like maybe it's not healthy.

Mmm. Unhealthy. I called that, too.

I'm sorry. Porcupine, you wanna share something?