Bedknobs and Broomsticks

You there, which way to Pepperinge Eye?

Couldn't say, sir.

It said on the wireless to paint out the signposts in case the Nazis drop in.

I'm not a Nazi. I'm a British officer.

That's what you'd say if you was a Nazi, isn't it, sir?

Drive on, Corporal.

Sorry to give you so many, but you do have six bedrooms.

Oh, no trouble, my dear.

Anything to get the poor things away from those terrible bombings in London.

Come along, love. Let's go.

Hey, what about us?

Oh, yes. What is your name, please?

Rawlins, ma'am.

Rawlins? Rawlins?

Oh, yes. Here we are.

Carrie, Charles, Paul.

Well, you're for Miss Price. I'm expecting' her in.

I won't be a moment. Please, don't touch anything.

Call out the tanks

From the Cliffs of Dover

call up the Gauls

And don't forget the loyal territorials

Who's digging in here?

Who will defend

every inch of England no matter what they send?

Who's standing firm in our own front yard?

The soldiers of the old home guard

That's who

The soldiers of the old home guard

For we wrote the story of the old brigade

We know the glory of yesterday's parades

Who's standing firm in our own front yard?

The soldiers of the old home guard

That's who

The soldiers of the old home guard

Parade, halt.

Carry on, Sergeant.

Captain Greer, sir, from headquarters at Tidbury,

here to check military preparations in the area.

Tell them Pepperinge Eye has matters well in hand.

But nevertheless, I...

What on earth is that?

Good morning, General.

I received your message, Mrs. Hobday. I assume that my parcel has arrived.

It's in the office.

Ah, lovely.

Who is that?

Miss Price, splendid woman.

Her late father served with me at Vimy Ridge.

What's she burn in this thing? It smells a bit like sulfur.

Ridiculous. One can't make motor fuel out of sulfur.

Here we are.

Another object from Professor Emelius Browne in London.

Thank you.

Is it what you expected?

I imagine so.

Professor Browne sent you a cat last time, did he not?

Yes.

Professor Browne is well?

I haven't the faintest idea.

Are we to have the pleasure of meeting him?

I very much doubt it. I don't know Professor Browne personally.

- Was there something else? - As a matter of fact, there is.

Would you come this way, Miss Price?

Well, I'm very anxious to get home, you know.

Come along, please.

Get down, Charlie. I want to ride.

Stop it this instant!

Children, this is Miss Price.

Carrie, Charles, and Paul Rawlins. All the way from London.

- How do you do? - How are you, miss?

The government's trying to evacuate

as many children as possible into the country.

Very sensible.

Today they sent us 45.

And I've had to find homes for all of them at very short notice.

These are the last three.

All right, children, pick up your things.

You're not suggesting that I should take these children into my house?

Exactly.

Oh, I'm sorry, but that's quite out of the question.

Children and I don't get on.

I believe you, miss. Come on, back to London.

Hurray!

Be quiet.

Besides, I have work to do, very important work.

Miss Price, you do have that entire house to yourself.

And according to the order of the Ministry of Civil Defense,

you have no choice.

I see.

Very well, if that is the case,

I shall take them into my house with the understanding

that you find a more suitable home as soon as possible.

Fine, come along.

Ah! Good morning, Miss Price.

There they are. Oh, Miss Price.

What a charitable thing you are doing,

taking in these poor unfortunates from the city.

Hold this very carefully.

I wonder, Miss Price, if I may drop by later this afternoon.

Why?

Ah, well, we have their spiritual needs to consider now. Do we not?

That won't be necessary. They won't be with me for long.

Oh!

My parcel, please.

Bring your things inside.

A bit murky, ain't it?

Yeah.

Not another house around here for miles.

Wipe your feet.

Big place, this.

Who else lives here?

I live alone.

It suits my purpose.

All right. Come along, everybody.

A cat!

Sorry, miss. The cat startled us.

No need for alarm. You just frightened him, that's all.

Yes, scared to death. You can see that.

What do you call your cat?

I don't believe in giving animals ridiculous names.

I call him Cosmic Creepers, because that's the name he came with.

You will sleep in here.

This was my father's bedroom.

And I want you to be very careful of everything in it.

You boys take the bed, there.

All right, miss.

- What was your name? - It's Carrie, miss.

Carrie, you sleep on the sofa in there.

Thank you, miss.

Is that all you brought?

We ain't exactly burdened down with frillies.

Travel light, that's us.

Well, I don't think this arrangement is going to work,

but it seems that I have no alternative.

We'll do our best, miss. Really we will.

Thank you, Carrie. The bathroom is along the landing.

Supper is at 6:00. You will wash thoroughly...

- Wash? - You will wash yourselves,

otherwise there will be no supper.

Is that clear?

A house of horror, that's what we've come to.

Please don't bother to whisper.

I'm exceptionally keen of hearing.

You are planning to run back to London.

If you've any plotting to do, please do it elsewhere

where I shan't have to listen to it.

I'm afraid I don't know much about what children eat.

You'll have to make do as I do.

Is there anything particular that you fancy?

Sausage and mash, bubble and squeak, toad in the hole.

Fried fish. Oh, anything at all.

I'm afraid you won't find any fried foods in this house.

- No fried food? - No.

How do you keep your health?

Cabbage buds, rose hips, glyssop seed, elm bark,

whortle yeast and stewed nettles.

"Dear madam, with this shipment,

"the Emelius Browne Correspondence College of Witchcraft

"sends you its heartiest congratulations

"on qualifying for the first degree of your chosen calling.

"You may now call yourself apprentice witch.

"Yours faithfully, Emelius Browne."

My first broom.

Time to go. Everybody up.

Wake up, Paul. We're going back to London.

Now, let's see how we fly this thing.

Here we are.

"Clasp the broom with both hands."

Yes, of course.

"No, never astride the broom." Yes, of course.

"Technically, a witch is always a lady

"except when circumstances dictate otherwise.

"Take an easy, graceful, sideways position."

Of course, that's much better.

An easy, graceful, sideways position.

There we are. How's that?

"To start up the broom, your basic formula."

I wasn't ready!

Now, watch this.

Here we go.

It's going to be a little different this time.

All right, I know it's not ladylike.

- Cor! - What's the matter?

- How does she do that? - 'Cause she's a witch.

- That's the sort of thing witches do. - Oh.

She don't fly good, do she?

She's crashed!

Come on, now's our chance to hop it.

Suppose she's hurt?

Go on. You can't hurt a witch.

Look out!

She's proper cross, now. Let's get away from here.

Hang on. I'm having a bit of a think.

"A witch she is," says you.

"Then let's use the old loaf," says I.

Let's get back to London.

What we have here is an opportunity.

She don't want anyone to know she's a witch, does she?

Not ruddy likely.