Wynonna Earp

Previously on "Wynonna Earp”...

HE ROARS

You let her do this.

You became a vampire for Doc. - And he became one for you.

Seeds in the ground, whispering to one another.

Bulshar can talk to them.

Bulshar's ring is following me. - It fits me.

No, no!

She only took three cards? - Tarot cards.

He wants to find his last one, his future.

It's Arabic on the ring. It means Garden of Paradise.

Bulshar is here for the Garden of Eden.

That's what the Ghost River Triangle is protecting.

Dear God. God has nothing to do with it.

NICOLE AND WAVERLY PANTING

Don't stop.

Oh, come on, baby!

Maybe we need more lube?

No, no! No, no, no, no, no. No. Don't stop. Don't stop.

Keep going. Keep going. Almost there.

No! Ow, ow, ow! OW!

NICOLE SIGHS IN FRUSTRATION

Ow!

OK, that's it.

Either Bulshar's ring shrunk or your finger chubbed up.

It definitely shrunk.

YouTube's all out of tricks.

It's just teens doing mean pranks now.

I mean, does it hurt?

No, not really. Actually, it's fine.

I'll just leave it on.

Uh, you Wonder Woman punched a zombie witch across a room!

Yeah boi. - Uh, not "yeah, boi". No, girl!

That ring came off a withered, chopped-off demon arm

it turned a face-ripping witch into the Mother of Dragons

and it burned Doc's finger, and...

turned up in my biscuits!

It also keeps ricocheting back to us each time we try to get rid of it.

What if next time it hurts one of our friends? Or...

OK. Check the barn

OK, for the giant bolt cutters...

from Wynonna's B&E tool kit that I wasn't supposed to tell you about.

Of course.

Look, try not to touch anything, OK.

I'll get bolt cutters.

Not even you?

Oh no. When we get that thing off, we get off.

Did we just...? - It appears as though we did.

Twice.

Did we?

Well, I sure did.

And I'm pretty sure you were here.

Oh, I'm still here.

BANGING AT DOOR

Wynonna?

Go away! - Occupado!

Our minibar's fully stocked.

Decidedly not mini.

Guys, just let me in.

Then you better turn on incognito browsing cos it is NSFW in here!

Gross. I do not need that seared into my retinas.

So, what am I supposed to tell Waverly? Are you guys on again?

Oh, we are on...

each other.

OK, great. Well, I'm just gonna tell her that you were drinking and fighting.

TENSE MUSIC

Those two need separate cages.

Now, am I to assume you have forgiven me?

For the vamp thing?

I'd say we kissed and made up.

As long as that's all you did... with your mouth anyway.

Oddly, the pangs of bloodthirst seem to have lifted.

And I would never do anything...

to betray your trust.

Such a gentleman.

Except for when you're not, at my request.

Which is often.

And why I am so spent.

Let's go to sleep.

And we'll wake up together.

They're mine.

Oh, it's quite robust.

You know, it's unusual to find a woman wearing such a masculine piece.

I suppose tradition has changed.

Yup, we're all about challenging gender norms.

Now can you please get this hideous thing off of her.

Of course.

Here goes.

LOUD DRILLING

Oh my god! Oh. Sorry.

Bad experience with losing appendages.

Ha, ha, ha! She jokes when she's...

Ovulating? - Dude, no.

Hold still. This won't hurt a bit

unless I slip

but that's why we have insurance settlements, am I right?

This is gonna be awesome.

How odd.

How did you say you came upon this ring?

Uh...

It's been in my family for generations. - Yeah.

Yup, it came right over on the boat

smuggled right up Granny Haught's... petticoats.

Recessed markings?

What's that word?

Paradise.

You know what? Um, I'm feeling...

RADIO BEEPS

Officer Haught? - Yeah. What's up, Suzanne?

Got a disturbance out on Concession Road 10

the abandoned Gardner House.

Copy.

Kate? - Yeah, what's she up to now?

Besides being very vampire?

Thank you so much for your time. - Yeah. Thanks.

You know, I already have a buyer. - Already? Sure.

Demon or creep with a ring fetish? - Why pick just one?

Ah, the aroma of earth as the ground begins to thaw.

Where are we going? Aren't we supposed to be doing something?

Tarot cards.

Bulshar found what he was looking for.

Oh. The Garden!

We're gonna head old Bulshar off of the pass. Remember?

Today was fun.

Are you, uh, OK with us?

Well, there's the sucky bitey fangy thing.

Which I did, uh, for you.

Who am I kidding? I only feel like me when I'm with you.

SUDDEN WHIRRING

This is giving me a headache.

I've spoiled our walk.

Some things are best left unsaid.

No, Doc.

Something's wrong. I don't feel... I don't feel well.

It's a trick! It's Bulshar!

Bulshar? - Doc, wake up!

Wake up!

Yo, Bee-boy, where are you taking us? Where are you taking us? No!

You do not want to know what happened to the last person

who tried to force-feed me granola!

Bulshar.

Even for a million year old hell monster, you...

look like cat barf.

Now you know...

our fates are linked.

Your ability to resist my delusion...

It's impressive. Well, what can I say?

I built up a tolerance to hallucinogens when I dated that tree planter.

Then I need to up my game.

Hand-to-hand it is.

Come on, Ballshaft. Whadda ya got?

I'm going to enjoy this.

Doc?

Bulshar?

Hello?

OK.

Could be worse, Dubs.

Usually when you wake up in a strange room

you gotta spend the whole day at a walk-in clinic after.

RAPID, SHORT BREATHS

Oh.

At least there's booze.

It's gone.

Doc?

Wynonna? Thank God.

You can hear me? Yes. What happened?

I just died...

but I'm back. How? Back where?

Shorty's basement. I... I= I= 1- I think I'm OK. Where are you?

Nowhere good.

I can see you. Do you see me?

No. I do not know how I got here.

Did you see Bulshar? Bulshar? No. Why?

I can barely move, Wynonna. I'm near paralyzed!

OK. Don't panic.

I'll explain everything as soon as I find you

which I'm going to do right now.

Please do, Wynonna. Please do.

Ha! Missed me, dickhead.

There's always more dickheads.

Come on!

Poison dart!

Wynonna!

DOOR CLICKS OPEN AND SLAMS SHUT

WYNONNA SCREAMS

I'm back.

Are you OK?

Uh, does a molten hot spike to the eye count?

Which smarts, by the way.

Why does Bulshwhack have to make it hurt?

Because that may be the point of this.

Pain is the end game.

Great pep talk.

But I'm... I'm like metal.

The more you hit it, the stronger it gets.

And I'm shiny.

And dense.

Holy crap I did learn stuff in high school.

Careful. The cable guy didn't see anybody leave.

Did he leave?