The First Time

What the fuck?

And I'll still be in love with you.

It's that way that you, uh...

It's the way that you...

Wait, shit. Come on, Dave, what is it?

That, uh-- That amazing... It's that amazing way that--

Who are you talking to? Oh! Jesus.

You scared the crap out of me. Sorry.

No, it's all right. I just-- Um, I thought I was alone.

So you were talking to no one? No.

You go to Humphrey? Yeah. Westerberg?

North. Do you know whose party this is?

No, not a clue. What about you? No, I don't know.

I got brought by some friends. Not even friends, really, just these girls.

They might be whores. Or at least whorish.

The guys I hang out with, we drive around all night

calling everyone we know, just looking for some party.

I mean, any party-

We'll finally find one, and we'll get here and we won't know anybody

so we just stand around and eventually just leave,

go look for some other party.

That's silly. Why do you do it? What else are you gonna do, right?

Why'd you come out tonight? I don't know.

A laugh, maybe. But I'm not looking for a boyfriend.

I got someone. I mean, kind of. I have a dude.

Who? Why?

Maybe I know him. You don't. He's older.

So why aren't you in there right now

putting moves on some waifish sophomore with low self-esteem?

I just kind of have one girl that I'm kind of interested in.

So, what's her name? Jane.

Jane Nussbaum? Harmon.

So, what's your name?

Dave. Dave, I'm Aubrey.

Audrey. Aubrey.

Aubrey. Yeah.

And you go to North. Senior?

Junior. Right. Of course you are, yeah.

What is that supposed to mean? Am I not mature enough for you?

No, of course not. I mean, no, of course you are.

It's just, uh, you don't have that look in your eye, you know?

Not sure I do. That desperate, kind of demented look.

The "Whoo, I'm a senior and I'm graduating in less than a month,

and all my nights of drunken high school parties are almost over."

You got that look Right?

So this girl Jane, she, um-- She doesn't like you back?

She likes me. Um, platonically. As a friend.

Oh, I know what "platonically" means. I'm a junior, not a moron.

I'm sorry. It's cool, Dave.

So have you tried? Like actually tried?

I think she's gonna hook up with Brendan Meltzer tonight.

Ooh, my friend hooked up with Brendan once.

There you go. He is ripped.

What are you doing to me?

I'm just saying if she's with Brendan I wouldn't get my hopes up.

Well, trust me, they're not up, okay? That's why I'm out here.

Because you're hiding? I'm not hiding.

Fleeing? No.

Fleeing? Yeah.

I just-- Ugh. I had to get out of there, okay?

I couldn't exactly stand around watching the girl that I'm in love with

flirt with the best-looking guy ever It's torture.

Want some gum? No, thanks. I'm good.

Yeah, actually.

Uh, I should get back inside before, you know, they leave without me.

Hey, let me ask you a question.

Hmm?

Do you think it's possible that there's something I could say to this girl,

uh, just some way I could tell her how I feel

in a way that just would make her fall for me? You know?

What do you have in mind? Here.

Wow.

"Jane...

Janey,

lately I've been feeling like there's so much noise.

You know, uh, so much static. All these voices competing for attention.

Teachers, parents, magazines.

What's in, what's out, who's cool, who's not cool enough.

And it's like all this shit just gets so loud I feel like I can't even hear myself think.

You know, I just wanna get in my car and drive.

But then I see you.

I see you across the hall, leaning against your locker

in that jacket that you love so much,

and, uh, the way you tuck your hair back behind your ears.

And you see me and you smile.

You just smile, and it's like all that noise fades away.

You know?

And the only thing I can hear is the sound of your voice

when you call out my name."

Hmm.

Oh, no. Oh, my...

Oh, my God, I'm literally too embarrassing to even live.

No. No. I can't believe I just said that. Out loud.

I mean, even to you. I--

I can't even believe I was gonna say that to her. I was.

Okay. It's not that so much as she doesn't...

She doesn't really care about that shit, you know, the noise and the magazines.

And she definitely doesn't wanna hear how beautiful you think she is when she tucks her hair behind her ears.

I mean, I doubt she really wants to hear anything.

All she wants to feel is a little less freaked out than she already does,

which, you know, is probably very.

So she wants to be with a guy who seems less freaked out than she is,

and if you can be that guy, then rad.

But if you can't...

then you're not gonna be her dude.

I'm never gonna be her dude, am I? Not with that attitude, my friend, no.

And you're a senior, so I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed.

Maybe in college you can reinvent yourself as a doer, not a talker.

Maybe.

Well, you should probably get back, huh?

Or, you know, if you're worried your friends are gonna leave...

You asked for my opinion.

No, I was just gonna say you could catch a ride home with me.

Oh. Well, um...

Yeah, those whores won't leave without me.

They're all probably hooking up with somebody.

I would have to go and unhook them, and I don't feel like doing that, so--

Then don't. All right. I won't.

Great. Okay.

[THE CONCRETES' "OH MY LOVE" OVER SPEAKERS NEARBY]

This song is amazing.

Yeah, this song is amazing. Amazing.

Wanna dance with me?

I don't know, I... Do you wanna...? Ahem.

Do you wanna dance with me? Hmm, no.

What? Well, I-- Mm-mm.

J ust-- O

Man, way to build up my confidence. You did-- Well, I--

Which was lacking. It was lacking. And you even pointed it out.

Look, it's just I don't dance publicly.

And I don't do-- I don't do PDA either.

Those couples, they make me nauseous. It's like, "Really, guys?

You're gonna make out in the fricking mall in front of everybody?" Ugh.

Okay, well, first of all, we're all alone here, you know.

Second of all, I mean, I was just talking about one dance, you know.

Well?

I can't believe I'm doing this. It's just like the cheesiest thing ever.

All we need now is for it to be raining, and, like...

I mean, it's just so tired, right? And completely--

Would you deal with it?

Your balls are vibrating.

Uh... Uh...

Um...

Uh... Huh.

What? What? Oh, it's just the cops are here.

Get out of here! Get out of here! Cops!

Where's your car? We're out of here, man.

Oh, I didn't drive. The Englishman did. What?

My little English friend. Who?

They're taking everybody's name, they're handcuffing people. It's every man for himself. Let's go.

What's wrong with you assholes? Let's go.

What should we do?

Um, hang on, I just need to-- I'll call my--

My house is like 10 blocks away. You wanna walk with me for a little?

Yes.

Where are you gonna go to college?

Uh, Columbia.

Wow, so you're, like, Smartypants McGee.

No, I don't know about "Smartypants McGee."

Any idea what you might wanna do?

I wanna teach. I wanna live in New York and teach.

Oh.

Elementary school to start. Somewhere where there's a real need, you know?

Uh, then probably developmental psychology.

Oh, so you pretty much know exactly what you wanna do.

Yeah. How about you?

I have no idea. I like collage.

Collage? And I draw some.

I'm learning how to play the drums. Helps me work out my aggression.

You got a lot of aggression? The average amount, I think.

Heh. Are you, uh...? Are you happy?

Happy? Heh.

Yeah, do you think of yourself as a reasonably happy person?

Content or what have you? No, I wouldn't say content.

I'm just-- I'm ready to get out of here. I'm so over high school.

You've still got another year.

I'm aware of that. Dick.

You? Me what?

Are you a happy-go-lucky kind of kid?

Because I'll slap you if you are.

Well, I am right now, which is surprising.