The Big Bang Theory

Kites, ho!

Kites, ho!

Excuse me.

You're misusing the word "ho."

It's an interjection used to call attention

To a destination, not an object, as in, uh, "Land, ho!"

Or, uh, "Westward, ho!"

Kites, ho!

Hey, guys. Whatcha doin'?

Going out to discover electricity?

If you're referring to the work of Benjamin Franklin,

He did not "discover electricity,"

He merely used a kite to determine

That lightning "consists" of electricity.

Also invented the Franklin stove,

Bifocals and the flexie urinary catheter.

Kites, ho.

We're heading out for some kite fighting.

"Kite ghting"? Oh, yeah.

It's an extremely competitive, cutthrt sport.

Well, actually, the risk of throat cutting is very low.

On the other hand, severe string burn is a real

And ever-Present danger.

You want to come watch?

, gee...

Sounds amazing.

But, um, I've got some friends coming over.

Not a big thing-- We're just

Gonna watch the Nebraska game.

Oh. Football, sure.

: Good guess.

I would've invited you, but I know you're not a footbl fan.

, no, I'm not, so... great.

You've got plans

Doing something you like, I've got plans

Doing something I like, so 's good.

Well, maybe we'll hang out later--

You know, after everybody's gone.

Yeah, great.

See ya.

Well, this sucks.

I'm sorry, I got bored and drifted off.

Where exactly in the interaction did the sucking lie?

Leonard just realized that Penny's been hiding him

From her friends because he's a tiny, little man

Who flies kites.

Oh, that certainly would suck.

* Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state *

*hen nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! *

* T Earth began to cool

* The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed too *

* We built the Wall * We built the pyramids *

* Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery *

* Bang! *

Wolowitz is trying to outflank us.

Let out some string, add altitude

And I'll go under and cut his line.

Why wouldn't Penny want her friends to meet me?

Focus, Leonard, focus!

The heat of battle is upon us.

The dogs of war are unleashed.

Maybe Koothrappali's right.

Maybe I embarrass her.

You're embarrassing me right now.

A grown man woying about such nonsense

When in the middle of flying kites.

Sorry.

Sorry won't bring their kites down.

Ow!

String burn! String burn!

Oh, they thinkwe're flanking

They're playing righ into our hands.

On the count of three, we execute the flying scissor.

One, two...

Whoa!

Did you see that? See what?

That chick-- She smiled at me.

No, she didn't. Yes, she did.

Come on, scissors, scissors!

Hold my line. Wait.

What are you doing?

I can't scissors by myself! Howard!

Come back!

Victory!

Son of a bitch.

You're a sucky friend, you know that?

A sucky, sucky friend.

What was supposed to do?

She gave me that "come-Hither" look.

If she gave you any look at l. It was a "you suck" look.

I would've caught up to her if I hadn't pulled a hammy.

Oh, please, you weh 80 pounds.

You don't have a hammy.

So, Penny doesn't want around her friends.

I embarrass her. Whatlse could it be?

Well, her actions

Could be out of concernfor your feelings

Perhaps she's excluded you from these gatherings

Because she's scouting for a new mate

And don't want to do it in front of you.

Oh... how kind of her.

Agreed.

Most primates don't show that sort of discretion.

A female bonobo will copulate with a new male front of the old one

Without so much as a "hodo you do?"

You always do this, you know?

You ditch me for a woman u don't have a shot with.

I totally had a shot. With a woman

You were chasi through a park--

That's not a shot, that's a felony.

What's worse, it cost me my prized Patang fighting kite. Sheldon, I don't suppose

There's any chance you could give me my kite back?

I'm sorry, Raj, but the rules of aerial warfare

Dictate at the fallen kite go to the victor.

And without rules, the competition has no meaning.

And without meaning,

The following would be an empty gesture.

: I have your kite. I have your kite.

Hey. Hi.

How was your football party?

It was prettgood. We won. Oh, wow.

That's excellent.

It's a weird figure of speech, isn't it

"We won" when you weren't actually playing.

When we watch Star Wars,

We don't say, "We defeated the Empire."

I'm glad to hear it. Yeah.

Oh, hey, on a related subject,

Are you embarrassed to have me around your friends?

Oh, my god, no.

Why would you ask that?

Well, you know, I just noticed

Sure you have.N't really met any of them.Well...

Yeah, no, I met the huge ex-Boyfriend

And the smBy the way,till larger were they here today?

Of course not. Of course not.

Why would they be? Whwould I ask?

Why am I rambling? Why don't you stop me?

Leonard, look,

If you want to meet my friends, that would be great.

I just, you know, I didn't want you to be bored.

I wouldn't be bored.

Why would I be bored? Well,

'Cause they're not genius scientists.

Penny, I like all sorts of people.

In fact, some ofmy best friends aren't geniuses.

Like who?

Okay, some of my Facebook friends aren't geniuses.

My point is, if we're going to be a couple,

I should be friends with your friends.

Okay, great. Well, then why don't you

Come over next Saturday and watch the game with us.

Another football game?

They have them every week.

Did not know that.

You wanted to meet my friends. Sure.

Su, just I don't know much about football.

Oh, that's okay-- A lot of the guys'

Girlfries don't know football.

They just kind of drink and talk in the kitchen.

Great.

Okay, a completepass.

First down, New England.

I think I'm starting to get this.

Really?

The only thing I've learned in the last two hours

Is that American men love drinking beer,

Pee too often and have trouble getting erections.

Focus on the game, not the commercials, Raj.

I'm just saying, maybe if you people cut back on the beer,

You could get out of the bathroom and satisfy your women without pharmaceutical hp.

J, what are you doing here?

You were supposed to help me pimp outy Vespa.

I'm sorry, are you under the impreson that we're still friends?

: Ohcome on.

Y're not still grinding on the kite thing, are you?

It's not just the kite thing.

Every time we go some place, you think you can just dump me

Whenever someone prettier comes along,

Even though you don't have a shot with them.

I had a shot with that jogger.

Fine. Paint green flames on your little scooter with her.

It's not a little scooter.

It's the second biggest Vespa they make!

Are you watching football?

There's no fooling you.

Now, what is this sacks statistic they put up there?

All I know about Saks is, my mother shops there.

Sacks, sacks...

It's football nom

For when a quarterback is taced

Behind the line of scrimmage.

Huh...

Scrimmage.

The line of scrimmage

Is the imaginary transverse line

Separating the offense from the defense.

Oh.

Sheln knows football?

Apparently.