You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown

You're elected, Charlie Brown You're the biggest head in town

Tell me, how do you like it now?

I'm never going to school again.

I've had it.

What's the matter, Sally?

Why are you upset?

Is your teacher giving you trouble again?

No, nothing's wrong with my teacher.

She's a very nice person.

Is it one of the classes?

No. The classes are okay.

Are you having trouble with math?

Don't you understand fractions and decimals?

No, I don't find it hard.

In fact, I even got a hundred in my test yesterday.

Are you having any trouble with the kids on the playground?

No, no, no. That's all right.

Well, then, what's the trouble?

I can't get my stupid locker open.

Sally, it's time to get up and go to school.

I told you I wasn't going to go to school again.

Come on, I'll help you with the locker.

Well, okay.

But there's something else you can help me with today.

If I go to school, will you promise to help me?

Of course, of course. Now get up.

What are you going to have for breakfast?

Maybe I'll have a piece of toast. I'm never very hungry in the morning.

You can't go to school without a rousing breakfast.

It's a known fact that--

that all of our country's presidents started each day with a rousing breakfast.

I don't know how they managed to get together every morning,

but I guess that's one of those things about government I don't understand.

Come on, Sally. Let's go to school.

Okay, Sally. About your locker, do you know the combination?

Of course I know the combination.

It's 20-13-48.

You go to 20, then past zero to 13, then back past zero again to 48.

I've been looking at that sign every day, and I finally figured out what it means.

It means that the bus holds 50 kids.

Each kid has two feet, right?

100 feet means the bus holds 50 kids.

You gotta remember

that sometimes you have to tap the lock on the bottom to make it open.

Some of these locks are kind of touchy.

You have to make sure that you dial the numbers just right.

I had one once that I had to hit on the bottom before it would open.

Mine won't open because I can't reach it. That's why.

Forget that stupid locker.

I've got something more important that I need your help with right now.

Miss Othmar, I volunteer to be first.

For show-and-tell today, I have a treat for you.

I'm presenting my big brother.

Now, actually, he's my big brother

only because he was lucky enough to be born first.

Stand up straight. I'm trying to get an A in show-and-tell.

Don't goof it for me.

Actually, big brothers come in a variety of sizes and quality.

Anyway, this is my big brother,

and I just thought I would present him to you today for show-and-tell.

Thank you.

That's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me

in my whole life.

Student body president?

That would be a good job for you, Charlie Brown.

You'd make a great student body president.

Me? Nobody would ever vote for me.

I would.

What's going on here? What are you guys talking about?

I think Charlie Brown would make a great candidate

for student body president.

That sounds great, but I don't think I could win.

I'd hate to run and find that nobody wanted me to be president.

I don't think I could stand that.

I'll tell you what,

I'll be your campaign manager, and the first thing to do is take a poll.

We'll find out if you can be elected.

Just think, Charlie Brown,

how exciting it would be for you if you did win.

I can see it now.

All the votes are counted, and everyone comes running up to you and says,

"You're elected, Charlie Brown!" Wouldn't that make you feel great?

I have the results of my poll.

You'll never be elected, Charlie Brown.

You have no way of winning. No way.

Joe Cool, back in school

Hanging round the water fountain Playing the fool

Joe Cool, take it light

If the principal catches you You're out of sight

Take those shades off

Walking round the hall

Joe Cool, making the rounds

Checking all the kiddies Up and down

Joe Cool, play it straight

If the principal catches you It's gonna be too late

Yeah

Better learn to add now

According to my poll, Charlie Brown, your chances for being elected are zero.

No way. We'll have to put up another candidate.

How about you, Linus?

He'll do something about those lockers that nobody can reach.

Well, I don't know. I'll take another poll.

If my brother Linus were running for student body president,

would you vote for him?

If my brother were running for student body president,

would you vote for him?

Yeah, I remember one time he gave me half of his peanut butter sandwich.

I'd vote for anybody who took me out to lunch.

If my brother Linus were running for student body president,

would you vote for him?

You bet!

How could I help it?

Linus all the way!

If you knew that Linus van Pelt were running for president,

-would you vote for him? -No.

If you knew that he was going to straighten out

the whole educational system,

would you vote for him?

No.

If you knew that he was going to solve all the problems of the whole world,

would you vote for him?

-No. -Well, why not?

'Cause I'm the one who'd be running against him.

Okay, the results are in.

I've conducted my poll on Linus's chances to be elected student body president.

The results are 99% for Linus, 1% against.

Boy, this auditorium is packed with teachers and kids.

Schroeder's starting his nomination speech for you.

I'm here this morning to nominate for the office of school president

a great young man.

But first, I'd like to say a few words about Beethoven.

Oh, good grief.

The candidate whose name I would like to place before the electorate

possesses the same unique combination of qualities

as those possessed by Beethoven,

the greatest of all composers.

That wonderful pianist and that tower of strength.

Linus is sort of like that too.

I accept the nomination for the office of student body president.

All right. To get organized, I'm the campaign manager.

And, of course, I have to have an assistant.

That will be you, Charlie Brown.

And if you need any assistance, you line up your own staff.

You gotta have somebody

who will handle things like signs and posters.

Snoopy, you're going to be my assistant in this campaign.

And the first thing I want you to do is to have some signs painted.

You can line up your own staff.

What about a platform, Linus?

What are you going to do about drinking fountains?

I'm for them!

Good. What will you do about recesses?

Longer recesses, I say!

Good, good. What about homework? Are you against homework?

Hear! Hear!

What about sick pay? Are you for sick pay?

I'm for it!

The studio's right through here.

I've lined you up with a talk show

so you can have a chance to answer questions

that some of the voters may have.

It'll give us the kind of exposure we need.

Stand by.

Okay. You're on, Linus.

Hello? Yes? Are you there?

Hello? Hello? Am I on the air?