Chillin Island - First Season

Give a man a fish, he will eat the fish.

Teach a man to fish, he will kill many fish.

Bonobos, those are the monkeys that suck dick. They're very advanced.

Those are the only monkeys that suck each other's dick ?

Yeah.

- Every monkey sucks dick. - I don't think so.

This is Dap.

Shit !

He spent a lot of money to make his fishing rod an appendage.

This is activating all my fight or flight sensors.

This is Alec.

- I'm hot. I'm dumb hot. - Yeah, it's great.

As a teenager, he was on the cover of "The New York Times" Metro Section

for building a computer out of scraps.

There is a knife right there.

I keep thinking about killing everyone on this boat.

What ?

This is Lex.

He is an only child,

and he won't stop picking up this crab.

Life at sea.

This is rapper Lil Tecca.

He doesn't know where he's going, and he has strange posture.

He's been invited to go fishing with a bunch of strangers,

and he's not looking forward to it.

Expectations are low on this voyage.

We hope that maybe someone will catch a fish.

We think they probably won't.

What do people talk about on boats ?

That piss sounds delicious.

Get it.

- Yeah, get it ! - Get it, Daddy.

- Yeah ! You feel it ? - Yeah, it's mad, it's pulling.

Damn, bro !

- What if it's, like, a shoe ? - Then you have a shoe.

You got it, right ? Damn, what if it's ill ?

- I'm so tired ! - Keep on fighting.

There it is. Look !

- Look at its fucking tongue ! - Is that real ?!

This thing looks fake, but this is what it really looks like.

The fish was so happy Alec picked it out of all the fish in the sea,

its stomach came out of its mouth from laughing.

Come on, buddy !

This seagull is an asshole.

Fishing is a cutthroat business.

Teeming with life, the sea provides a cover

for some of the world's most vile criminals.

The sea is not for people.

The sea is for fish.

It will never forgive these men for trying to be fish.

CHILLIN ISLAND Episode 3

Lex loves to dress up in funny outfits.

He will risk his life to be in a funny outfit.

- Should I do some cute, little dives ? - I would love that.

- Yes. - Dive for me, baby !

- It's hard, man. - You look like Dr. Robotnik.

The boat is waterproof.

Pissing on the boat a little.

Piss proof.

Lil Tecca has arrived. Everything is going to be great now.

Ahoy !

What you doing out in the middle of the ocean ?

Pulling up on you.

- What's wrong, Tecca ? - I need some water.

- There's water in that fish cooler. - Thank you.

What's your favorite brand of water ? Smartwater, Aquafina ?

- Poland Spring. - You're a cheap date. I like that.

Dap wants Tecca to fish now, but he is being coy.

That is cute. Tecca hates fishing and maybe Dap.

You drink tap water at home, or you got a nice bottle delivery service going ?

What's up ?

- What are those on your leg ? - Urchins.

Don't they have poison or something ? There's some kind of venom ?

Yes, that's true.

- What should I call you ? Tecca ? - Yeah.

All right.

- What's your real name ? - Tyler.

What you doing on there ? Are you 'gramming, TikToking, texting ?

- He said TikToking. - I'm 34, man. I'm sorry.

- I don't even use TikTok. - Why ?

- You're supposed to. - Why ?

So your fans can connect with you through the video platform.

They gonna connect with me regardless though.

- How you connect with them then ? - Instagram and stuff.

You get any crazy shit ? What's, like, the craziest DM ?

"Check out my mixtape."

A lot of "check out my mixtapes." A lot of, like, moms.

What the moms talking about ?

They told me that their sons like my music and stuff.

But they never tell me who their sons are. They'd be my age.

So you think the moms might be trying to holler at you.

- Yeah, definitely. - They're just using the kid.

Definitely.

You got a crew ? Like a collective and shit ?

- Something like that. - What's it called ?

We call ourselves Angelic.

- Why ? - We just chosen.

I'm Jewish, and Jewish people think the same thing,

that we're the chosen people.

What do you think about that ? Probably not, right ?

- Nobody can tell y'all what to think. - That's a very diplomatic response.

What does this mean ?

You're not agreeing with me. You're not disagreeing with me.

You're saying, "That's cool. That's what you think."

I don't really care about how I sound in the media.

I don't give a fuck about none of that shit.

All right.

"Minority Report," that's my mixtape. Type it in, listen to it, but it's good.

- "Minority Report" ? - Yes.

- Rocking with it. - It's a Steven Spielberg movie too.

Have you heard of Steven Spielberg, or are you too young ?

- Probably too young. - Damn !

I was kidding, but holy shit. Hell yeah !

- Am I supposed to know ? - Nah, who gives a fuck ?

He made "Jaws" and shit. Who gives a fuck ?

- Shit ! - My God !

You watch movies though ? Like, full movies ?

Yeah, my favorite movie is "Tokyo Drift."

- Hell yeah. - I like Asian stuff.

Ever since I was a kid, I just like Asian stuff.

Like what ? Clothes, cars.

When I was in second grade,

Asian girls was the first type of girls I was into kind of

so I just started liking other stuff too.

How you feel about being on the open ocean right now ?

- Are you scared of the ocean ? - Yeah.

The ocean is a scary place.

It's never-ending. It's full of creatures.

Kids are smarter than they used to be.

I think a 17-year-old now is smarter than we were when we were 17.

Tecca, what do you think ? Are you smarter than me when I was 17 ?

Probably.

That was your first not diplomatic answer.

You could have been like,

"If you think you were smarter, maybe you were, but I don't know".

That is usually how I respond to things.

What are your biggest fears in life ? What are you most scared of ?

What am I most scared of ? God.

- You scared of God ? - Hell yeah.

When are you scared of God ?

What kind of stuff are you doing when you think about that ?

Waking up in the morning, going to sleep at night.

What about in-between ? You don't think about it much ?

Anything that happen between waking up and going to sleep,

I chose that.

Think if you talk enough shit, he'll strike you dead with a lightning bolt ?

Shit, you want to find out ?

It's pulling me. It's pulling me !

I can't reel. I'm telling you, I can't reel !

Is it pulling the fucking boat ?

I don't know. The boat is moving. I guess we lost your Jet Ski.

"For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction."

Newton's third law of motion.

Cast a big, heavy line from a big, heavy boat,

get pulled to the middle of the ocean by a big, heavy fish.

The big fish eat the little fish.

I gotta quit eating meat and fish. This is not right.

I feel like I'm not so great that I should be allowed to eat animals.

I'ma get a dog, a bunch of dogs,

cats, parrot, a crow.

- You really like animals. - Yeah.

- I like animals too. I love 'em. - Yeah. What's your favorite animal ?

- Turtles. - I loved turtles when I was a kid.

It seems our big fish

has pulled our foolhardy fishermen to an audience.

What's up ?

Now they can showcase their inability to fish in front of some pros.

Look at these poor bastards. My God. Look at that one guy.

- We're going fishing ! - You stuck on the bottom there ?

Said you're stuck on the bottom or something ?

- Is that bad ? - I don't know. Are you ?

I'm mad nauseous right now. How do I not be this nauseous ?

Are you guys getting seasick ? That guy looks like he's ready to puke.