Axe Cop

1x01 - Night Mission: Stealing Friends Back

Boy: One day, at the scene of the fire, the cop found the perfect axe.

That was the day he became Axe Cop!

So he had tryouts and hired a partner.

Axe Cop: I will chop your heads off!

What a day. Good night, Axe Cop.

Hey, you know what? If you're not doing anything,

you want to come over, uh, for dinner?

- I don't eat dinner. - Are you sure?

'cause Anita's making grilled cheese. And let me tell you,

Anita knows a thing or two about cheese and grilling it.

- Turn off the lights on your way out. - All right, buddy.

Time for Axe Cop to go on a night mission.

I'll chop your head... Bat Warthog Man?!

- Ugh, wha... - You're not a bad guy.

What are you doing lurking in the shadows,

and why are you crying?

All my friends are gone. Someone stole them.

First, stop crying. I don't like it.

Second, did you say your friends were stolen?

Yes, what kind of guy steals someone's friends?

- A bad guy. - A very bad guy!

No, the King of All Bad Guys.

And lucky for you, I know how to defeat him

- And get your friends back! - You do? How?

With a giant dinosaur horn.

- Is there a dinosaur-horn store? - Don't you know it.

It's on another planet. There.

- See it twinkle? - Yeah. That's nice.

- Let's go! - Great, we'll take my car.

No, we'll take my car.

It's cooler and I know a shortcut...

over that awesome ramp.

Axe Cop: Come on! Move it!

Can't he see we're on a night mission?

Gimme a sec, would ya, fella?!

I gotta jump this ramp to prove to my best friend

that I'm not chicken.

My best friend is so cool. One time, we were at this pizza place...

Shh. We don't have time to hear about your friend.

This guy's friends were stolen by the King of All Bad Guys.

Did you say stolen!? Oh boy, that's the worst!

You don't have to ask me twice, I'm helping you on this mission.

Buckle up, boys,

This jump leads to space... and that's really high.

Whoa-ooo!

Whoo-hoo!

Axe Cop: I just want to rent a dinosaur horn.

The only reason I'm recommending you buy it is to save you money.

But it's cheaper to rent.

For most people yes. But not when you keep returning them late.

- I mean, just do the math, all right? - I always do the math

- and it's cheaper to rent! - Just get your dinosaur horn already!

Listen, this man's friends were stolen

by the King of All Bad Guys and I'm helping him get them back!

- So give me a minute! - His friends were stolen?

Really? That's the saddest thing I ever heard.

My best friend, Sergeant T, was killed in the war.

Okay, look, bro, we don't have time for your back-story. Right, axe?

- Shh shh shh. Go on. - You see, I wasn't always a dog.

I used to be an army man and I had a pet chihuahua.

Then one day I got a telephone call.

Hello?

A war?! I'll be right there!

I met up with my best friend:

Sergeant T. We were at war with chicken head.

He was a huge chicken with a human head.

He had an army of chicks that shot drills out of their mouths.

and they would bite you if you got too close.

But Sergeant T was brave.

Careful out there, Sergeant T!

But what we didn't know was that chicken head

could also shoot giant lasers out of his mouth.

Chicken head killed Sergeant T with one blast.

You killed my best friend!

I was so mad,

- I killed chicken head with one grenade. - Bok!

I won the war and returned home

only to discover I hadn't fed my pet chihuahua.

Oh no. I forgot to feed you!

That was the day I gained the ability

to turn into a chihuahua when I am ready to fight.

Whoa, that reminds me of my best friend.

- Quick story here... - Shh!

So you can turn back into a man whenever you want?

Only when I am not ready to fight.

Which is almost never. Now allow me to honor the

memory of Sergeant T by joining in your mission.

Great, we're gonna have to act fast.

This horn has to be back in an hour.

That must be the bad guy King's secret lab.

It's where he makes his bad guys.

I bet they know where my friends are. Let's go!

Not so fast. I have the perfect secret attack

to use for such an occasion:

the free poison soda secret attack.

Now let's split up and look for clues.

- What the heck? - Hyah! How did you survive

my free poison soda secret attack?

- I only drink juice. - But soda is better than juice!

- Maybe to you. - To everybody.

Now you tell me where Bat Warthog

Man's friends are or I will chop your head off!

- The King of All Bad Guys ate them. - So my friends are... dead?

- Now will you let me go? - No. Soda is better than juice.

Hey, army chihuahua,

throw this head in the head trash.