Milo Murphy’s Law

I love the scholastic decathlon.

It's the only event where knowing

the blood type of all the presidents

doesn't make me a freak,

it makes me an athlete.

And I love the athletic decathlon

because, you know, I'm an actual athlete

who doesn't know the blood types of presidents.

"Athledecamathelon?" What is that?

Well, "Athle-" means sports,

but then "math"...

Mind blown, man.

Let's ask Mr. Drako.

Mr. Drako is a...

Vampeer. Chad, he's not a vampire.

No. Vampeer.

He just has a widow's peak. And he's pale.

And he has that accent.

And we've never seen his reflection in the mirror.

I've never seen your reflection in a mirror, Chad.

Oh, no! I'm a vampire!

Hello, children.

Psst! Chad was right.

He has all his mirrors covered.

He's not a vampire.

Mr. Drako, why do you have all your mirrors covered?

Oh, those aren't mirrors.

They're pictures of my ex-wife.

Stop looking at me, Agnes!

Why don't you just take them down?

Then where would I hang my sheets?

Um, we wanted to find out about this Athledecamathelon.

Funny story. The school district

wasted a lot of money buying that yacht.

So now we have to combine

your scholastic and athletic decathlons into one event.

Which shouldn't be a problem

if you're great at all sports and all academics.

No fair! Who's good at academics and sports?

Abraham Lincoln. Blood type A.

Mr. and Mrs. Murphy,

is this a legal, medical,

or state emergency level problem?

Oh, no. Nothing like that. Milo just forgot his lunch.

And his body armor.

I thought he looked svelter today.

Ah, memories. Little help!

You know, they put in those reinforced steel beams because of me.

And these unbreakable windows.

Hey, I wonder if they've still got my old trophy around here.

You never told me you won a trophy.

I don't like to brag.

So tell me again why there was a rock band on the field?

Eh. It was the 80's.

Oh. Whoa!

You know, I'm starting to think that Mr. Drako really is a vampire.

How can he be a vampire?

He's outside in the daylight.

With an umbrella hat and a huge amount of sunscreen.

You can't be too careful about the sun.

Mr. Drako, combining these two events

just makes it harder on everyone.

Oh, don't worry.

I'm sure the other team

is just as unprepared as you are.

It's the Middlemen from Middletown Middle School!

3.141510,

that's almost Pi, we're the Middlemen! Huh!

You are going down, Geckos.

What do you know? Your mascot is a guy in a suit.

Our mascot is Murray the Middleman,

who buys products from wholesalers

and then sells them to retailers at a hefty profit!

Actually, that sounds kind of impressive.

Mr. Drako!

They're totally prepared. How is that possible?

Well, the Athledecamathelon

was announced three months ago.

You've known about this for three months and you didn't tell us!

I didn't want you to be freaking out.

Like you obviously are.

And you just found out about it, just now!

Imagine what you'd have been like

if you had known about it all this time.

He has a point. You do look kind of stressed out.

Why don't you channel that anger to help you?

You mean like this?

O-negative.

William Henry Harrison and James Garfield. Boom!

That trophy has to be here somewhere. I mean, I was a legend.

Honey, you don't have to show me the trophy.

I believe you won the game.

Now can we go home? Oh, look.

I don't see your name anywhere.

Maybe it's behind one of these big ones.

Whoa.

Got it!

No. "Best ceramic statue of a soccer ball 2013."

They give trophies for anything nowadays.

Huh. Imagine?

I don't have to, I'm holding it.

Okay, Milo, you have five seconds

to name five famous disasters.

And... Go.

Vesuvius. Chicago Fire.

Dinosaur asteroid. Titanic. And...

Um... Your haircut!

Oh, meow.

But I'll accept the answer.

And now for the physical portion of your challenge.

Throw this round thing really far.