Shadows & Lies (AKA William Vincent)

Dear Ann, l've come back to New York,

Some years ago you asked me about myself,

''What are you doing,'' you asked

l didn't answer then but l want to now,

When you've read this letter, if you wanna come away with me

if you want me to take you from here, tell Victor

you can trust him, _e'll find me,

I'll start somewhere near the beginning,

William is not my name.

A few years before l met you

l was returning from a place l'd always wanted to visit,

Japan, l was transferring in San francisco to a flight home,

Once l was back on the plane l asked if l could go back to the boarding area

because I had left a book there.

By the time l found my book, the gate had closed

so l sat and read my book until the plane took off without me,

l decided to take the long bus ride across the country to my home

in Connecticut, just outside of New York,

Several hours into the trip

l heard on the radio that the plane l missed had crashed into a mountain,

l closed my eyes and slept,

The next day l learned that they had not been able to recover any bodies,

The plane and all the passengers had been incinerated on impact,

l got off the bus in New York and decided to stay for a while,

l realized that for all anyone knew

l no longer existed,

for no particular reason

without really thinkin9 about it

l bought a passport

under the name of William Vincent,

I took a c]ass and learned a trade

and got a job editing nature videos for use in the schools.

I think that's what they're used for, I'm not really sure.

l managed to find an empty storefront to live in

in a neighborhood in Chinatown not far from the East River.

[birds chirpin9 in slow motion]

[birds chirpin9 in slow motion]

Okay,

Yes.

from ''They can hover in midair,''

They can hover in midair

by rapidly flappin9 their win9s

1 2 to 9O times per second,

They can fly backwards and are the only group of birds

able to do so,

They can also stop in midair.

Hummingbirds are continuously hours away from starving to death

and are able to store just enough energy

to survive overnight,

Hummingbirds are capable of slowing down their metabolism at night

or any other time food is not readily available,

They enter a hibernation-like state

known as torpor,

During torpor, the heart rate and rate of breathing

are both slowed dramatically

the heart rate to roughly 5O to 1 8O beats per minute

reducing the need for food,

The most astonishing quality of hummingbirds

is their ability to broadcast color.

Hummin9birds radiate like hot coals in the sun,

The color that reaches your eye is created by pigment

which absorbs some colors and rejects others,

Like soap bubbles

hummingbird's color comes from iridescence, not pigment,

lt winks on and off

depending on the light source and the angle of the viewer,

That's a nice dress.

Where'd you get it?

lt's a kimono.

l know it's a kimono.

l like it.

Change.

(Boss3 You know you don't wanna fuck with me, ri9ht?

Of course l do.

Of course you do.

So he says, ''Hey, you're right, but

''can we actually do that, like

''who's in charge of this pro]ect, you know

''and l'm like, listen

''if some noise needs to be made, l will make the noise.

Okay? All right?''

And he says, ''Whoa, Jason, whoa.''

l'm like, whoa what, Ted?

The problem with Ted is, he doesn't get it.

He's like, pretty much like, l can name off

three or four executives in this company alone

who in a few months are gonna be redoing their resume

and who do you think they're gonna ask to take one of those offices?

But, l think that comes from ]'ve done a ]ot of meditation over the years, l have to,

You would think that in, like, the cutthroat business that l'm in

when you're dealing with derivatives it's all crazy.

lt's very chaotic,

But, you need to find a time for peace,

When you're workin9 a ]ob ]ike that.

Because if you don't, you're going to be chaotic yourself,

_'__ take it one step further,

lf you really wanna know about financial markets, Iet's talk about Per Bak

Right?

Right.

Let's talk about, Iet's talk about, uh

Kolmogorov.

lf you wanna hear really the theory of turbulence

order of chaos, phase transition.

And that's where these guys should be living right now

if they want to survive.

But they don't, they can't possibly grasp that.

Economic crisis, my ass. This is an economic opportunity.

You should-- You know what? You should check out a book

um, oh, what is the name of that?

lt's, uh, Per Bak, _ow Nature Wor--

- (man) I'll think of it. - (woman) Okay,

- You know, I'll be ri9ht back. - Okay,

- And I'll think of it. - Great,

l'll definitely remember it before l get back, okay?

l can't wait,

Hi.

Do l know you?

Uh, no.

Sorry if my, uh, staring bothered you.

lt's, uh, it's okay. l don't mind.

l don't like your friend.

Oh, you mean Jason?

Yeah. Do you like him?

l don't know.

Why?

]ust asking.

Do you know him?

Hm-mm.

l'm Rebbecca.

Hi.

What's your name?

ason, sighs] The scotch is--

You're very beautiful.

Wow.

Joseph?

Sorry.

l enjoyed tormenting the man in the bar

and l think it was nice that l might have made the woman happy,

Even for a moment. Even if I didn't care about her.

There hadn't been many that l had cared about,

Only two brothers that l'd known

when l was a teenager back in the town where ] grew up.

l'd lost touch with the two brothers, but l thought of them often

and saw them, in a way, in parks, on the street, different places,

And l saw them as l'd known them

as young boys, not as the adu]ts they would be now,

lt was a lovely thing to imagine, but I knew it was just that, Imagined,

But l saw them as if they were really there,

l wondered how they were, where they were,

Anyway, wherever they are, it's probably best that they don't know me

given the man l've become,

l knew them when l was this age

the age l am now in this shot, 16.

l'm 30 now, so the things l remember are from a long time ago.

His name was Joseph back then, not William.

He did some odd things, but l think he was a nice person.

Maybe a little--

He could run very fast.

We used to race.

He was a beautiful runner.

Really beautiful runner.

I'd been lvin9 as William Vincent for three years before l met you,

ln that time, we might have passed near to one another and not known it,

l wonder if either of us might have felt something in the passing,

lf it happened,

for instance

l wonder if you were nearby that night l saw

that man wearing suspenders and a bow tie?

He's ]ust kind of drifting down the sidewalk Iooking at his phone,

What the fuck?

The man ]ust walked away

unaware that Ihad lifted some things from his pocket,

]ust a receipt and a business card, Nothing,

But it seemed as if there was something else in the air that night.

Something odd,

lt was an unusually quiet, empty ni9ht.

But l felt as if something had happened,

There was something wrong that night but I didn't mind.

l mi9ht have even liked it,

l went out to eat