Bad Milo (Bad Milo!)

Pick up. Pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up, pick up!

Sarah! Sarah!

Duncan, what happened to you?

Good. You're okay. Go down to the basement.

Right now.

Oh, my God! What is that?

Do it now! Hurry!

Goddamn it!

And there she blows.

Mr. and Mrs. Hayslip, take a look.

What is it?

It's definitely something the doctor should look at.

- He'll be with you in a moment. - Thank you.

Thanks.

Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh.

Familial adenomatous polypsis.

It's a polyp.

Oh, it sounds really bad. That sounds bad.

You got a thing in your butt.

- Okay. - Yeah.

You got a little trooper in your pooper.

- You don't need him there. - Is it serious?

It's... it's not that bad. It's not that serious.

This though, this is a weird shape.

This is concerning me a little, but not overly.

Look, in the end, this lump in your colon

is most likely due to PSM which is poor stress management.

Look, how long have you had stomach issues?

- Um, for... ever. - Mmmmm.

Yeah, he's in the bathroom a lot.

Not, I mean not, not a lot. I'm in the bathroom

a decent amount of time, but not like, it's not extreme.

- How often is a lot? - Hour, hour and a half.

Yeah, about 90 minutes.

That's not, that's... hugely concerning.

Over the course of the day, not...

Okay, good thing is, we can do something about this.

It's an endoscopic polypectomy.

Basically, we insert a camera, into the anus.

- Okay - Right?

There's an electrified wire loop at the end of it,

and we...

...pop it off, like a plum off a tree.

Being pulled by an electrified wire loop.

Okay. Okay, I get it. You don't have to...

You don't have to describe it anymore.

Do you have a family history of G.I. problems?

Uh, well, you know, my mom would gladly tell you

that she's, um, you know, regular like clockwork.

One of those. What about your father?

Uh, well, we don't speak.

I haven't spoken to him in sometime. So...

Look, I think what you're going to need is some coping mechanisms,

so I can give you the name of some professionals

- that can help you out. - Are you talking about a therapist?

Oh, I'm nut... I'm not a therapy guy.

We can get there. We'll do it. We'll call him.

Great. Stop by the desk on your way out.

Talk to Nancy about scheduling a follow-up.

Until then, you take it down.

- No stress. Keep it quiet. - Right.

No stress.

Keep it cool.

No stress.

I'm sorry.

Um, hello?

This is my office. You might be in the wrong office.

Hey. Hey, guys.

Just take that all down the hall and to the left.

Lucky day, Dunc. New office. Part of the new job. What?

New job?

Human resources.

I'm an accountant. I don't know the first thing about humans.

Come on, it's just temporary. You're far too valuable an accountant

to keep in H.R. permanently.

I'd love to help. I just don't know if I'm the right man for the job.

- Do you believe in this company? - Yes.

- Believe in our mission statement? - Yes.

Our employees are also our clients. Of course.

Our clients trust us because we put our own skin in the game.

- I'm in the game. - I'm in the game, too.

Your retirement account is here. Mine is here. We're in this together.

Right. Right. Right.

Which is why I need you to handle the layoffs.

What?

- You're a nice guy, Dunc. - Thank you.

Which is exactly what we need right now.

A nice guy, and we gotta let some people go,

and you just said you're a team player.

I am a team player, it's just that I don't...

I don't... I've never fired anybody before in my life.

It's easy, you'll love it. I'm so glad you're on board.

Um, I'll be sad to see you go.

What?

So. Your new office.

This is a bathroom.

It was a bathroom, and now it is an office for two.

Hey, there, cubie.

That's what I'm saying instead of roomie.

Dunc, you know Alistair.

Um... yeah.

Uh, Duncan, I need you and AI to work on a re-org chart

and uh, I'm going to need to see that first thing next week.

Next week? I still have to deal with the Darcy accounts.

I have... The board of directors asked me to make a presentation.

- I have to get that done by Monday. - You got Alistair.

You got it covered.

Hey, uh, cubie.

You think these toilets are still functional?

Would save us a lot of trips down the hall.

Really?

Yeah.

And don't forget we have dinner with your mother

tonight at 6 pm.

Thank you for doing this therapy thing.

I think it's gonna help. His name's Dr. Oliver Highsmith,

and I think you're really gonna like him.

I know you think all therapists are crazy,

but I think this guy is totally legit.

I hope it goes well, doughnut.

Lactose intolerant. Just like myself.

I am not... Did I... did I write that I was?

- You checked it, yes. - I meant no, I'm not.

I don't get it, you meant no when you say yes?

I think it was just a mistake. I am not lactose intolerant.

Okay, don't make it a big issue.

I'm sorry. What's happening?

Witch doctor. Witch doctor.

Shut up!! Please, don't listen to him.

He thinks he knows everything about everybody.

I can't stand him sometimes. It's like...

All right then. Let's get started.

I want you to come over here.

Lay down. Relax.

Uh, what... what far?

What you came here for.

Hypnosis. Not?

Oh... No.

I want to bypass your conscious mind

to access your subconscious mind.

Ah...

Where the real you might be.

The true you.

A light and consistent stroke

over the forehead from temple to temple

relaxes the patient.

Okay.

No, I act... I actually don't know if this is right for me.

I mean, I'm only here because of my wife.

Uh, no offense, I'm just not... I just don't believe in hypnosis.

How about we do this, how about we just pretend...

I'll pay you, and we'll pretend that I'm making progress.

I don't need your money.

- I didn't mean to offend you. - I'm not offended.

I'm just sad.

Uh...

I'm here on Earth to help people.

Well, thank you for coming.

Would you mind if I, uh... if I took off?

Shh.

You've gotta be...

We're done.

I just want to thank you two for being so supportive.

It's kind of been a rough time. A lot of stress at work.

It has been, it's been a crazy couple of weeks at work.

Well, we love seeing you guys.

And Bobby just, you know, he loves to cook.

Oh, I do, I do.

Oh, Mom, don't. Mom...

Oh. That is not the spiciest dish at the table.

Yeah.

Well, thank you so much for the food, Bobby.

- Duncan? - Yeah?

You can call me Dad. Or Daddy.

- No need to. - Papa.

- Bobby is good with me. - You know what?

Don't call me Daddy. That's reserved for somebody else.

Mmm. That must be our special guest.

- Special guest? - I don't know...

Dunkie. I can't imagine what it must be like for you.

Growing up without a male to look up to.

To know what males should act like.

Every now and then it's a little obvious.

- Everybody. - Sort of... girlie.

This is Dr. Lawrence Tip,

and he runs the Tip Center for Fertility.

That's right. And we're doing really well.

Duncan, I presume?

Yeah. Yes.

I've heard a lot about you.

Are... are you two planning on having a baby?

- Oh, heavens no. - Not the way we do it.

Sc Duncan, your mother here tells me

that you guys are having a little trouble conceiving.

- No. No, no, no, no, no. - No.

Sweetie, Sarah is ready.

So if your little guys are slow swimmers,

maybe something can be done.

Wow. Beatrice, I feel like I may have mislead you

because that is not an issue that we're having.